Kami's Saga
by The Shadowed Wolf
Summary: The story of a fairly average girl who gets tossed into one of the stragest worlds ever. Fair warning in advance, this is not your standard TF2 universe. Based off of my good buddy TheInvertedShadow's YouTube video series.
1. Please Read This First

Greetings all. I'm assuming that you're here because TheInvertedShadow pointed you in my direction. If not…well, there are some things that need to be explained.

A while ago, my buddy TheInvertedShadow started doing Gmod videos. Originally, these were just supposed to be little one-shots featuring a girl named Kami going up against all the Team Fortress 2 Weirdoes (Painis Cupcake, Vagineer, Dick Sandvich, etc.). However, as time went on, this rapidly evolved into a series with a legitimate story line revolving around the romance between Kami and Dick Sandvich. Yes, you read that correctly. How does that work, you ask? Well, if I told you about it now, there would be no need to read the rest of this fic, now would there?

Anywho, I fell in love with this story pretty quick and decided to try my hand at writing them, adding in my own scenes when I felt they were necessary and really delving into the main characters. These chapters I sent off to Shadow to see what he thought of them, and to my surprise, he actually thought they were good. After much coercing, he finally convinced me to post this for other people to read.

Some things I should mention before we actually get to the story:

1. If you haven't watched the series on YouTube, you definitely should. Not only is it remarkable, it will give you a better idea of what things look like. Remember, the written series was originally going to be only for his eyes, and he knows what all the people and locations look like, so I really didn't bother putting in too many of those details.

2. This story is not only written from a writer's point of view, it's also written from a girl's point of view. While I'm not a big fan of romance, the relationship that forms during the course of this series is one that I truly love and really wanted to get into. So yeah, there are times when this gets a little fluffy, but not too horribly so. And honestly, I think the fluff is warranted between these two.

3. Being a writer, I like filling in the blanks. There were a lot of questions that the videos raised for me and I decided to see if I could come up with answers that made sense. This adds in a lot of scenes that aren't in the videos, so if you are familiar with those, you'll now get more of a back story that has been preapproved by the original creator, making this more in depth, gives you a lot of stuff you haven't seen before, and might even answer any questions you had.

4. Finally, I've recently gotten into writing in first-person. I find that it really allows me to get to know a character, and I personally have a lot of fun writing that way. Originally, this entire thing was going to be written from Kami's point of view. As much as Shadow liked this, he wanted to really test me and asked me to try writing things from Dick Sandvich's perspective as well. I never back down from a challenge, resulting in a two-sided story and probably making it that much more interesting. Don't worry, I do mark where I make the change, and the style of writing also changes a bit, so it should be fairly obvious. If it isn't, just tell me and I'll fix it.

Now that all of that's out of the way, please enjoy Kami's Saga. Reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated, but please, no flames. If you don't like this, you don't have to read it.

Thanks!

~The Shadowed Wolf


	2. Chapter 1: My Name is Kami

**And here we are. The true beginning of the story. Well, almost. I have a couple of things I forgot to mention. I'm not that familiar with the TF2 universe, so there are things that won't match up, and I apologize. However, this isn't really a fic about the official universe, so it really shouldn't mess things up too badly. Also, I'm horrible at accents. I tried to write them, but they're pretty lousy. Again, I apologize, and if you have any tips on how to do them, I'd be most appreciative. **

**And now, onto the show!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TF2 or any associated characters, and Kami and most of the story belongs to YouTube's TheInvertedShadow.**

Chapter 1: My Name Is Kami

"This is perfect. Just fucking perfect," I muttered. "My first big break, and what do I do? I get lost." I pulled the Jeep over onto the shoulder of the road and cut the engine. "How did I end up out here in the middle of nowhere?" I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

That was a question I could answer quite easily. I'm a journalist. Up until now, I was always assigned the more menial stories. And by menial, I mean that the best one I had was about the advances in tomato farming. So when the boss was looking for volunteers to investigate the reports of gunfire and explosions coming from the middle of the desert, I pounced on the opportunity. I was so desperate for a story that wasn't about produce that I didn't care how dangerous the situation could be. So early this morning, I packed up the Jeep and headed out into the desert.

…And almost immediately got lost. Well, it was kind of hard to tell whether or not I was lost, since I really didn't have an exact destination in mind. I was just kind of combing the desert looking for anything that confirmed these supposed reports. I had bought a new GPS for this occasion, but it continuously lost the signal and became more of a nuisance than a benefit. I knew I should've brought a real map with me, but the man at Best Buy assured me that the GPS was fool proof. If I ever found my way out of this hellhole, I vowed to never listen to any salesmen ever again.

My search had been going on for almost six hours now – a fair amount of that on foot – and I had found nothing. I was beginning to lose hope. Although I had packed a lunch, I really wanted some junk food. Chocolate always cheers me up. And topping off the Jeep's gas tank wasn't a bad idea either. I picked up the GPS and turned it on. I genuinely didn't like the little device. But maybe I was in a good location again and it could finally get a signal. The loading screen popped up, indicating that it was searching for the satellites. Much to my delight, it managed to find them. Maybe it was finally going to be useful. Sadly, my hopes were crushed when the first thing the monotone voice said was, _"Please return to the nearest road."_

"Damn you," I replied bitterly. Well, it had at least found me. I guess that was half the battle. But the little map that was on the screen didn't have any markings on it, not even a location name giving me any hint as to where I was. Apparently I had simply fallen off the edge of the earth.

"_Please return to the nearest road,"_ it chirped again.

I looked around. Nothing but sand, a few cacti, rocks, and the road I was currently on. Off in the distance, I could see some mesas, but they didn't help me at all. No signs, the buildings, no landmarks, absolutely nothing of any use. "This _is_ the nearest road. In fact, this is the _only_ road," I told the electronic voice.

"_Please return to the nearest road."_

I finally snapped. "Listen, you $300 piece of crap. I _am_ on the nearest road," I snarled. "I'd like you to point me in the direction of a more obvious one, preferably one with a convenience store that has halfway decent bathrooms."

"_Please return to the nearest road."_

With an enraged scream I rolled down the window and flung the evil contraption out of the Jeep. After a minute of deep breathing to help calm my nerves, I got out and retrieved the GPS from the asphalt. After all, it did cost $300. If I was lucky, I could still try to return it when I made it back to civilization. If I made it back, that is. At the moment, I felt pretty screwed. I sighed. I may as well keep going straight. Chances were slim, but if I was really lucky, I might be able to find some form of civilization up ahead.

"_Please return to the nearest road."_

"Oh, shut up."

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

This was getting ridiculous. How long could this road possibly be? It just seemed to go on forever. I was beyond lost at this point. Forget about the possibility of a big story, I just wanted to go home.

Just then the Jeep shuddered. _Oh, crap. _The tank was officially empty. I knew I should've brought along a spare can of gas! This wasn't fair! What had I done to deserve all of this? I just wanted better assignments, was that too much ask for?

I rested my head against the steering wheel and sighed as the vehicle rolled to a stop. What was I supposed to do now? Most people would say that you should stay by your car and wait for help to come, but I highly doubted that would happen. I hadn't seen another soul through all of my exploring out here. And I already knew that there was no cell coverage out here. It was like the zombie apocalypse occurred and I was the only human left. Pretty soon I'd be fighting off the living dead and hunting for any other survivors…Okay, no more horror movies for me.

I scanned the horizon. Off in the distance I saw what appeared to be the outline of a building. If it was, it would be a miracle. If not…well, I was probably going to die anyways; it didn't really matter where I did it.

I came to the conclusion that my best chance for survival was to make it to that building. I pulled my duffle bag out of the backseat and checked its contents. A couple of bottles of water, a change of clothes (silly, I know, but they were a bit more casual than what I was currently wearing), and a sandwich. I tossed the keys to the Jeep into it as an afterthought. Then again, if somebody really wanted the vehicle, if they could move it, they could have it. I really didn't care at this point. I also picked up my kukri. I'm an avid weapon collector, and my passion is for anything with a blade. I knew it wouldn't be particularly useful in a gunfight, but I felt safer having some form of weapon with me.

I sat inside the Jeep for a few more minutes. I was terrified of leaving it. Who knows what could be out there waiting for a nice little thing like me to become their next meal? Perhaps I should change into my spare set of clothes now. They were probably much better for hiking in the desert than the short white dress and pink jacket I was currently wearing. No, now I was just procrastinating. I should just start out now, before I lost what little nerve I had worked up. "Farewell, Jeep," I said. "Wish me luck."

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

As it turns out, the shape I had seen was a building, and a pretty big one at that. Who knows how many people could've fit in there! But despite how big it was, it seemed deserted. It also looked like it could fall over at any second. If it was empty, then I was safe. If there was anyone inside, I just prayed that they were friendly.

I touched the hilt of my kukri just to double check that it was still tied to my waist. The door that I was standing in front of was barely attached to its hinges. I gave the handle a sharp tug, and as I had expected, the door came completely off its hinges. I laid it against the door frame as carefully and as quietly as I could. I didn't want to alert anyone that might be here to my presence just yet.

As bad as the outside of the building looked, the inside was still in pretty good shape. Guess you really can't judge a book by its cover. I wandered through the building as quietly as I could. It looked as though there might be someone else here, but I wasn't entirely sure. Something banged behind me, causing me to let out a squeak of fear. I crouched down in a corner and waited for my heart to stop pounding. "H-hello?" I called out tentatively. Probably a bad idea, since if someone was there, they now knew of my existence. Still, nothing answered me. I gripped the hilt of my kukri as I crept towards the sound to investigate. I entered what looked like a locker room. At the far end was a body of a man. My heart skipped a beat out of fear. If whoever that was had been killed here, what if the killer was still lurking around the building?

And then the body stood up. I almost screamed. Dead people weren't supposed to get up! He stood there for a moment, allowing me to get a good look at him. He was huge, and not just because of his weight. Perhaps it was my fear that was exaggerating the situation, but he appeared roughly the same size as a bear. He stared at me with a blank expression for a moment. Then a smile spread across his face as he put on a beanie cap. I had a feeling that things were about to go from bad to worse.

The giant came at me far faster than I would've ever expected. I took a step back, but I was too scared to run. He towered over me and pointed to himself. "I am Dick Sandvich," he said in a heavy Russian accent. "And I am going to fuck-" he pointed at me "-your ass!" And then he started laughing like a psychopath. I was absolutely frozen in terror.

He made a swipe at me, and my fear-induced paralysis was lifted. "NO!" I screamed, twisting out of the way and pulling my kukri out of its sheath simultaneously. He tried to grab me again and I stabbed forward. A sickening squelch was heard as the blade buried into his stomach. He screamed, staring at the blade in his gut.

I was horrified by what I had just done. Yes, I had taken classes on how to properly wield all of my weapons, but I had never believed that I'd ever have to use any of them! And here I was, covered in blood! My already unstable mind broke, and I began laughing like a maniac. A tiny voice in the back of my mind asked if the wound I had inflicted would kill him. A part of me wished that it wouldn't. I didn't think I could handle being a murderer, even if it was out of self-defense. His eyes rose up to meet mine again…

And he started to cry. I was so shocked I backed up, pulling the kukri out of "Dick Sandvich" as I moved. He fled to a corner and curled up into a fetal position, still crying. This only added to my confusion and terror. How could he be still alive? Something about this whole thing was horribly wrong and I knew that I should get out of this place now. But at the same time, I strangely felt bad about what I had done to him. I suddenly had the urge to try to make him feel better, but what could I do? Maybe a peace offering would help. _Who are you kidding? That won't help at all! This man needs a doctor, _the logical side of my brain yelled at me. But still…I had to do something, right?

After a moment's hesitation, I pulled out the sandwich I had in my duffle bag and approached the sobbing behemoth. "Um, excuse me," I said. Dick Sandvich looked up at me. "I-I'm sorry about that, but you, uh, y-you scared me. Would you like this?" I held out the sandwich.

Dick Sandvich almost immediately brightened. "Sandvich!" he cried happily, taking my offering. He stayed on the floor and studied me for a minute longer. I fidgeted nervously under his gaze. "Thank you," he finally said, catching me slightly off guard.

"Oh, um, you're welcome," I answered nervously. The entire situation seemed…off, to say the least. A man the size of a car tries to rape me, doesn't die after suffering a massive gash to the belly, starts crying like an infant instead, and a simple sandwich makes everything better. Who am I kidding? This was just plain weird.

When he stood up, I backed away a step. "What? Is little girl scared of me?" he asked, almost tauntingly. I couldn't say anything in response; I was still very much scared. He must've seen this, as his face softened. "I will not hurt tiny girl," he said kindly. "Come." And with that, he walked away, not even glancing back to see if I was following.

I hesitated. He certainly seemed sincere when he said he wasn't going to hurt me. But then why did he attack me before? I didn't understand, but I also didn't want to be left alone. I hurried after Sandvich, praying I wasn't making a horrible mistake.

After several flights of stairs and many confusing turns, we made it out onto the roof. Dick Sandvich sat down to enjoy his sandwich. After a moment, he looked up at me and patted the ground beside him. I hesitated before accepting the invitation. I was baffled by him. That wound in his stomach was pretty bad. Why wasn't he writhing in pain?

"Um, doesn't that hurt?" I asked, nodding to it.

He paused as if in thought. "No," he finally said.

"Oh, okay. That's good." This was so beyond weird.

We sat together in silence as he finished off his sandwich. I had to admit, the roof had a lovely view of the desert.

"What is tiny girl like you doing out here all alone?" Dick Sandvich asked. After I gave him the rundown of my story, he nodded. "Then you need place to stay," he said. "A home."

"Yes," I answered uncertainly. I had a feeling he was going to suggest that I stay here, and I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to stay in the same building as the man who wanted to 'fuck my ass.'

"I have lots of space here. You will be comfortable." Gee, how did I know? My worry must have shown on my face as Sandvich gently touched my hand. "I will keep you safe."

I glanced up at him and then looked away. I still was nervous, but his words seemed genuine. "O-okay. Thank you."

His face lit up with a smile. "I am very happy!" he cried, and I almost regretted my decision. But I knew I still had to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, he hadn't tried anything again. Maybe Dick Sandvich wasn't so bad after all.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I looked around the room that had been given to me. It was small, but in a cozy way. Sure it was a little plain, but with any luck, I wasn't going to be staying here very long. I sat down on the bed and thought about my predicament. I may have found safety, but I was still very lost. What if I never found my way back to the city? I sighed. Best not to ponder on worst-case scenarios. Besides, maybe Sandvich could point me in the right direction.

I suddenly became very aware that I was being watched. I looked up to see Dick Sandvich standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?" he asked.

I blinked. Surely if he wanted to hurt me he wouldn't have asked for permission, right? "Sure," I said, scooting over on the bed in case he wanted to sit down. He did, and his weight folded the mattress, causing me to slide into him. I squeaked as I hit his side. Dick Sandvich only laughed and put an arm around me. I fought the urge to run, although I did involuntarily tense up.

"Do not worry, little girl. Everything is fine," he told me, patting my head.

"My name is Kami," I said softly.

"Kami," he repeated. "That is good name. Pretty little name for pretty little girl." I blushed. I guess Dick Sandvich had a sweet side as well. "You have had very tough day. Get rest now," he said, standing up. I expected him to leave, but he didn't. He just stood there watching me. This made me scared. Why wasn't he leaving? I knew it, I knew it! I should've run when I had the chance! I started to tremble. He was going to make good on what he had told me when we first met! He reached out for me, and I cringed away.

"Relax, Kami," he said, gently taking my shoulders in his massive hands and pushing me onto my back. I was terrified. He was going to do it; I just knew it! I shut my eyes, bracing myself for the worst, and was surprised to feel the blankets being pulled up around me. I peeked out of one eye to see Sandvich tucking me in, almost like how my dad did when I was really little and had woken up from a nightmare. When he was done, Sandvich patted my head again. "Good night, little Kami."

I blinked. I was wrong. He really wasn't going to hurt me. I felt awful about how I had been so ready to assume the worst about him. I promised myself that I'd be more careful about that in the future. I smiled up at my giant…friend, I guess. "Good night, Dick Sandvich."

**Okay, so yeah, I know this isn't that great of a chapter, but it gets better. I was still trying to figure out how this would work at the time. Just bear with me and I promise you'll be rewarded. Please leave me a review or send me an email/private message. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 2: Weaselcake, Sandvich, & Kami

**Greetings again. It occurred to me that I should also be putting in here which videos each chapter is based on, just to make it easier for you guys to keep track of things. The last chapter was based on "Kami Meets Dick Sandvich" and this one is off of "Kami Meets Weaselcake." I'll try to remember to tell you this in the future, seeing as how later on I'll be splicing some videos together.**

**Just as a heads up, this is the first chapter in which I write from Dick Sandvich's point of view as well as Kami's. Again, I will be marking the change, but I thought I should give you a warning anyways.**

**Now, time to review the reviews:**

**The Black Fool – Thank you so much! You have made me feel so much better about posting this. I really wasn't sure what the reaction to this would be but I'm glad that you like it, and thank you for giving me a chance. By the way, I love your stories as well.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own TF2, credit for Kami, Spyane, and some story elements go to TheInvertedShadow, and credit for Weaselcake goes to Sonicrulez11. **

Chapter 2: Weaselcake, Sandvich, & Kami

I crept down the hallways as quietly as I could. I had to get away. I wasn't in danger or anything, I just had to leave. I needed some time alone to think. I paused outside of Dick Sandvich's room and listened to see if he was still awake. If he caught me trying to leave, he'd be furious. No, he was asleep. The man snored louder than a bear, not that I've ever heard a bear snoring. I just assume it's very loud. I continued on as quickly and as silently as possible. As soon as I made it out of "2fort," as I learned our home was called, I allowed myself to relax a bit. I still didn't know my way around the area, but I figured as long as I stayed within sight of the 2fort I'd be fine. Besides, I already had a destination in mind. From my window I could see a series of buildings off in the distance, and I had been very curious about them. It looked a bit like the stereotypical western ghost town. I had asked Sandvich about them once, but he told me that it was too dangerous for me and basically forbade me from ever going there. However, it's in my nature to be curious about new things, and that curiosity is only intensified when I'm told "no."

On my trek out to the ghost town, my mind went over the events of the last week and a half. Dick Sandvich had proved to be a most gracious host, I guess. I couldn't quite figure him out. I mean, he was very kind to me, but maybe that's what confused me the most about him. He started out as a definite threat to me, and now…now I don't know. He could be so unpredictable, going from cuddly teddy bear to raging grizzly and back again in a matter of seconds. And he was so out of control when he was angry, and that terrified me. He could very easily hurt me – possibly kill me – when he was angry, even if it was completely by accident.

And yet he had appointed himself to be my guardian and best friend. I was rarely allowed out of his sight, he always treated me with the utmost kindness and gentleness, and he did his very best to keep me safe, and generally overreacted at my slightest ailment. I'm not kidding either. He once fussed over me for literally an hour when I had clipped my elbow on a doorway. I found his concern touching, even if it was a little odd and occasionally scary. What I had discovered very quickly was that he became enraged whenever he thought I was in danger. It could be the slightest little thing, but he would fly right off the handle. He had once told me that everything out here was a potential threat, that there were people hiding everywhere who wouldn't hesitate to harm me and were just waiting to strike the second I was alone. Had he not been so deadly serious when he told me this, I would've laughed at him. I hadn't seen a single soul out here other than the two of us. Then again, perhaps these others stayed away because they feared Dick Sandvich's wrath.

I stopped short. What if I really was in danger? I hadn't brought my kukri with me. I had been so intent on sneaking out without alerting Sandvich that I had forgotten about it completely. I guess I would just have to be extra careful. Besides, now that I actually was looking at my surroundings instead of lost in my own thoughts, I had reached my intended destination. I investigated the area to find that it was just as deserted as it looked. Satisfied that I was safe, I climbed up to the roof of one of the buildings and sat down.

If I was completely honest, it was nice out here. Granted, you have to ignore the scorching heat of the desert day and the often freezing nights, but it _was_ beautiful. I've never seen the sky so full of stars, and the full moon was absolutely stunning against the deep blue sky. And I'll admit that I did like living with Dick Sandvich. Back in the city, I was always felt isolated, which seems odd since there I was surrounded by people practically 24-7. But it was very every-man-for-himself in the city. People didn't care about each other; they cared about themselves. I guess I can't judge them too harshly since I'm probably guilty of the same crime myself, but that doesn't mean I liked that way of life. But this world I had stumbled into by accident was nice. I found myself wanting less and less to return to my small apartment. Not that I could if I wanted to. I still hadn't asked Sandvich if he knew how I could get back. I was tempted to ask him at first, but he just seemed so happy to have some company that I just didn't have the heart to ask him how I could leave.

It was nice to have someone who actually cared about me. And I suppose that I cared about Dick Sandvich, too. He really was a sweet guy once you got past all of his oddities. It was kind of cute how he insisted on tucking me into bed each night. I was really starting to like him, maybe even love him. Well, not romantically love him, but more like the way you'd love a best friend or a family member. If I did end up stuck out here the rest of my life, I didn't think that I'd mind it too much.

The hair on the back of my neck suddenly rose. I had the distinct feeling that I wasn't alone anymore. I looked around but didn't see anyone. Then a deep ominous sounding chuckle came from behind me. I jumped and whirled around. I caught a glimpse of a smiling face before I lost my balance on the roof and fell. I hit the ground with a thud and stayed still. A part of me was convinced that I was dead or at least that several bones had been broken, but when I dared to get up I found that I was miraculously fine, save for a few spots that undoubtedly would become some fairly large bruises. Those would be fun to explain to Dick Sandvich. I heard a sound behind me that caused my heart to skip a beat. I slowly turned to come face to face with the most terrifying and somehow fascinating thing I had ever seen in my life. A man, if you could call him that, stood before me. Or rather, floated before me. His legs were broken and bent upwards at an odd angle, and he had his hands on either side of his head. "I'm Weaselcake," he said in an Australian accent, and then gave me a smile that caused the words "RAPE FACE" to flash in my mind in large capital letters.

I really, really wish I had just stayed back at 2fort.

Suddenly "Weaselcake" turned pinked, inflated, and a cake appeared in front of me. I blinked in confusion. That was not what I was expecting, not that I was entirely sure about what I expected from a floating man. "Um, thank you," I said as politely as possible. Weaselcake chuckled but didn't do anything else. Well, it didn't seem like he was going to hurt me. I allowed myself to relax a little.

Big mistake. Someone behind me grabbed my shoulder. "Peek-a-boo," said a female voice with a French accent. I looked over my shoulder to see a purple-haired woman dressed in black standing there.

"Who are you?" I asked, trying not to let my fear show in my voice.

"Since you asked so nicely, I am Spyane," she said as she pulled out a butterfly knife. "I'm going to gut you like a Cornish game hen."

"Help," I squeaked even though I knew it wouldn't do me any good. Lord, I _really _should've stayed home. Was this some plan set up by Weaselcake and this woman? Dick Sandvich was right. It _was_ dangerous out here, and now I was about to pay for not listening to him.

And then Spyane looked up at Weaselcake. "What?" she asked, sounding very worried. I dared a glance at Weaselcake. The grin was gone, replaced by a snarl. He glared past me, and I realized that he was staring at the knife. He inflated again, this time turning light blue. "Oh no," I heard Spyane moan behind me. I glanced over to see that she had turned the same color. And then she was literally thrown across the yard and into the side of another building.

"Piss off, ya bloody piker!" Weaselcake shouted, and then changed dark blue and fired a nail from his mouth. Spyane turned around just in time to receive the nail to the face.

I stumbled backwards, somewhat bewildered by what was going on. I really wished I had a weapon of some form. Weaselcake may have been handling the situation beautifully, but I would feel so much better if I could fight as well. My foot hit something. I looked down to see a longsword just lying on the ground. I knew that hadn't been there before, but at the moment I really didn't care where it had come from. I picked it up. From the corner of my eye, I saw Weaselcake change light blue again. I suddenly felt different, like I wasn't in control of my own body. I looked down at myself to see that I, too, was now light blue. _Oh dear_, my completely lost mind thought as I was suddenly thrown through the air. I had enough sense to hold the sword out in front of me, and I watched as it drove into Spyane. The second I was released from Weaselcake's hold, I staggered away. I spun around to look at the impaled woman. She suddenly became black, no doubt thanks to some other ability of Weaselcake's, and inflated. I heard her mutter "merde" as she floated helplessly up into the sky and then exploded.

I fell to my knees, staring at the spot in the sky where Spyane had been in horror. I felt like I was about to pass out. I had been hoping for just a nice relaxing evening, but that obviously didn't happen. I moved backwards and huddled up against the side of the building, trying not to have a nervous breakdown. Weaselcake appeared beside me and floated there in silence. I was actually grateful that he didn't try to strike up a conversation. I had just watched a person blow up for no understandable reason. I really wasn't in the mood to talk. Even so, I was glad for the company. It was somewhat reassuring.

Suddenly he vanished, leaving me alone. I felt fear rise up in me again. What if someone else tried to attack me? I didn't think I could fight off another assailant. I heard the sound of running footsteps and looked up, afraid that the night was about to go from bad to worse. Relief flooded through me as I saw Sandvich approaching. I now understood. Weaselcake had stayed until he knew I would be safe before leaving. And I certainly was safe now. Sandvich would protect me.

But my heart fell when I saw the look on Sandvich's face. He was _pissed_.

"Kami!" he roared, grabbing me by the shoulders and literally picking me up. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I just –" I stammered and was instantly cut off.

"I told you to stay away from here! It is dangerous for little girls like you! You are stupid to not listen to me. What if someone had found you? You could have been killed!" He emphasized the last sentence by shaking me. Sandvich dropped me, and I would've landed flat on my behind if the wall hadn't been there for me to fall against. "We go home _now_!" And with that, Dick Sandvich spun away and left, not even looking back to see if I was following.

I watched him leave, very hurt that he had yelled at me. I looked up at the sky, feeling very alone and sorry for myself. I knew I had done something wrong, but did I really deserve all that? Couldn't he tell I had already had a hard enough night? I became slightly angry at him for how he treated me, but even so, I still hurried after Sandvich. I mean, he was still my friend. At least I hoped so.

I was still a little out of it from everything that had happened. It felt as though my body wasn't quite obeying what I told it to do. This caused me to trip just as I caught up to Sandvich. I fell forward and slammed into Sandvich's back. I bounced off him and fell backwards. Sandvich spun around, still furious, and glared down at me. I curled into a tiny fearful ball. What was he going to do to me?

And then Sandvich's face softened infinitely and he gently reached out to me. I held out my hands for him to take, expecting him to help me up to my feet, but he ignored them. Instead, the giant man picked me up and cradled me like a child in his arms. I clung to his shirt, partially afraid that he was going to drop me. He simply smiled and started walking again, carrying me back to 2fort. I slowly relaxed my grip on his shirt, feeling a little silly about believing he would drop me.

Despite all I had been through, or perhaps because of it, I felt my eyes begin to droop. The gentle rocking of his gait combined with how safe I felt in his arms was slowly lulling me off to sleep. He seemed to realize this too, as I felt him hold me closer.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left home without telling you," I said softly, struggling against the pull of sleep.

"And I should not have yelled at you," came the rumbled reply. "You were scared enough. I am sorry too. Now hush. Sleep. You need rest."

I smiled up at my friend. "Thank you," I whispered, finally letting my eyes close.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I gazed down at the little girl in my arms. Kami was so fragile, so delicate. I could snap her like a twig. But I would never do anything to harm her. Never, I promised her silently. I do not know why I would not hurt her. I had never met anyone before who had affected me like this. I have _killed_ men for smaller injuries than that wound she had inflicted with her little knife, but she had reduced me to tears. Why? I do not know. And she could have run away or even finished what she started, but she had let me live. She had stayed. She had offered me friendship and I had accepted. I hate people. I prefer my solitude. Now I wanted her to like me as much as I liked her. It was funny to me, how such a little being could hold so much power over me without even realizing it. I do not understand it, and I do not want to either. I was happy with Kami, and that was good enough for me.

But I hated myself for yelling at her. She was scared enough when I found her. But then she had scared me by leaving. After she came to 2fort, I had gotten into the habit of checking on her at night. I told myself that it was just to make sure she was safe, but that was partially a lie. I knew she would not like it if she ever found out, but I loved watching her sleep. It was the only time that she looked truly content. I liked seeing her that way. But this night when I had peeked into her room, she was missing. This terrified me. I thought someone had gotten in and taken her away from me. But then I saw an explosion come from the abandoned farm she had so desperately wanted to go see. If that was where Kami was, she was in danger. If she had left on her own to go there, I would be furious. But now she was in trouble. I had to help her.

My heart almost stopped when I saw her leaning against the building. I thought I had been too late. But then she got up, and that is when I lost control. I was furious that she had disobeyed me and had scared me half to death. I did not even notice that she had been scared too. I should not have been so angry with her. Even if she did sneak out, the relief had been plain on her face when she saw me. She thought I was coming to help her. Instead I yelled at her and shook her. I do not think I will ever forget the hurt look in her eyes.

Kami did not belong out here. I knew she did not. It was far too dangerous for her. I knew I should help her find her way back to her real home, but now that I had found a friend, I could not stand the idea of losing her. I would just have to be more vigilant. I vowed that nothing would ever harm or frighten my Kami again as long as I was around.

We reached 2fort, and I carried Kami to her room. I placed her on her bed and tucked her in. The poor girl did not even seem to notice. I stroked her hair, smiling at the way she leaned into my hand. "Rest well, little Kami," I told her and turned to go. I had just made it to the doorway when I heard a small whimper from behind me. I turned to see Kami had curled up into a small ball. Worry lines appeared on her forehead as she let out another little mewl. She looked like she about to cry. I returned to her side. "Shh…Is good, Kami. Just bad dream," I told her, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She relaxed when I touched her, and the pained noises stopped. And then she did something I was not expecting. She took my hand and held onto it for dear life. I felt my heart melt. I could not leave her to face her nightmare alone.

An idea came to me. She would not like it at all, but at least I would be there for her. I gently picked her back up and brought her to my room. I placed her on my bed and carefully settled in next to her. She did not wake up, but she somehow must have known I was there because she rolled over so that she was facing me and moved closer to me. I placed an arm around her, hoping that this would not wake her. She had only just started letting me hug her, and I had felt how tense she was when I picked her up. She always became nervous when I touched her, though I do not understand why. Did she think that I was going to hurt her? I would never do that. I protected her from pain. Why would I want to be the cause of it? I did not know why she had trouble trusting me, but I did know that she would be scared if she woke to find herself lying with me.

Still, I liked being able to hold Kami this way, and I had to fight the urge to pull her even closer to me. "Ne volnooysya, ya zdes," I told her, forgetting that she could not understand Russian. But I suppose that it did not matter. She was asleep and could not hear me anyway. There was something I wanted to tell her for a long time, but I never had the courage to say it for fear it would scare her somehow. This was a good opportunity for me. "Ya tebya lyublyu," I said softly, watching her face to see if there was any reaction. Of course, there was none. I sighed. I almost wished that she had heard me. I desperately wanted her to feel the same way. Maybe another day I would be able to say it to her while she was awake, and maybe she would tell me that she loved me too. "Dobroy nochi, Kami. Priyatnyh snov."

**Yes, I did put some Russian in there at the end. I actually went a step further and figured out how to write those lines out phonetically. I did this because whenever I read things, I like being able to hear the words in my mind, and it does annoy me slightly whenever they're written in the correct alphabet as opposed to it being sounded out using the English alphabet (in this case, the proper alphabet that Russian words should be written in is a variant on the Cyrillic alphabet). I know this means you can't look them up anymore, but I have the translations of them for you right here: "Do not worry, I am here," "I love you," and "Good night, Kami. Sweet dreams."**

**As usual, reviews are appreciated, as is constructive criticism, but nobody likes flames.**


	4. Chapter 3: A Light in the Dark

**Wow, I'm actually getting positive feedback. This is cool. **

**This chapter is mainly based off of "Kami Meets…Wait, what?" although it does include a few other elements from his other videos. Also, from here on out, the chapters will be getting longer. Much longer. This is where I finally hit my stride and figure out what I'm doing. **

**The Black Fool – Yes, he is adorable. And I quite like the nail shooting out of Weaselcake's mouth myself.**

**Tearhex – I am certainly glad that you like this. I already have a few more chapters written and I'm just proofreading them now. Expect updates every week or so.**

**Disclaimer: TF2 goes to Valve, main story and Chibi MiKOS goes to TheInvertedShadow, Private Haircut goes to MrSuicideDoor, and the fluffy bits are mine. **

Chapter 3: A Light in the Dark

I groaned softly as my internal clock told me it was time to wake up, and I was right in the middle of such a nice dream, too. It was much better than the dreams I usually had. I buried my face deeper into my pillow, hoping that maybe I could just ignore the day and go back to the dream. I blinked in confusion. Something was wrong. Well, maybe not _wrong_. Something was _different_. Just then, a hand touched my arm, causing me to jump and let out a yelp of fear.

"Easy, Kami. Is just me." I looked up to see Dick Sandvich sitting next to me, smiling as he stroked my arm. And then I knew what was different. I wasn't in my room; I was in _his _room. And more specifically, I was in _his bed_. I couldn't decide if I was scared or not. I trusted Sandvich enough to know that he wouldn't do anything to me, but what was I doing here? My confusion must have shown on my face because his content expression was replaced by worry. "You had bad dream," he explained sheepishly, pulling his hand away from me. He behaved as though he believed that he had overstepped his boundaries. Which maybe he had, but…

I sat up, not looking at him. He was right, I did have a nightmare. It was the same nightmare that had haunted me for years. In it, I was trapped in this impenetrable, freezing darkness with no company, save for a cruel voice. The voice would tell me repeatedly that I was unwanted, unneeded, and unloved. It would tell me that I could die and no one would care, that people would even celebrate my death. This dream seemed to enjoy tormenting me because I always seemed to have it as soon as I started feeling good about myself. It always showed up just in time to destroy whatever little self-esteem and trust in others I had managed to build up.

But last night, it was different. In the middle of that malicious speech, a sliver of warmth and light reached out to me. I made a grab for it and clung to it with all my might. The warmth grew, pushing the cold and the cruel voice away. It felt like I was being wrapped up in a blanket. I heard a different voice, and even though I couldn't make out what was being said, I could understand the meaning behind the words. It said that there was someone who did care about me, someone who thought of me as a treasured friend…someone who loved me.

"Kami?" I looked up at Sandvich. His face still held that concerned expression. I understood why I was here now. I had thought it was just a fluke that the dream was different. Now I knew that Sandvich had, in essence, "saved" me from it. I didn't know what to say or do. I felt as though I was about to cry. I knew that he was my friend, but the fact that he even protected me from my dreams was almost enough to send me over the edge.

After a moment's hesitation, I reached out and turned his face away, and I kissed his cheek. "Thank you for…everything, I guess," I said, looking away again as my hand dropped into my lap. I couldn't bring myself to see what his reaction was. I felt my cheeks growing warm. Why did I just do that? I had never kissed a man before. Well, that's sort of a lie. I have had my fair share of boyfriends, but I never made the first move. And now I had just kissed a man I had barely known for twelve days! What was I thinking?

After what seemed like forever, Sandvich's arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hug. I was still too embarrassed to look at him. Then I felt his hand under my chin, tilting my head up, forcing me to look at him. He grinned at me, obviously quite pleased by the turn of events, and then he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "You are very welcome," he replied.

I smiled shyly before resting my head against him. I was always a little nervous whenever he came near me, and especially nervous when he pulled me close like this. I was very intimidated by his size and strength. But strangely, it didn't bother me this time. I had to admit that this wasn't too bad. In fact, it was actually kind of nice. I normally don't like to let people get to close to me, both physically and metaphorically, for fear of being hurt. But that wasn't the case with Sandvich anymore. I felt safe with him…I never felt safe around people…so why him?

We sat there together in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. There was a part of me that didn't want this to end. But, of course, it did. I was not particularly happy when Sandvich released me from the warmth and safety of his arms. But as my large friend pointed out as he sent me back to my room, "Is morning. Time to begin day."

I stood in the center of my room, examining my dress. It was rather wrinkled from being slept in last night. Sandvich had originally given me one of his shirts to use as a nightshirt, but I obviously hadn't gotten a chance to change last night. Besides, I had been wearing the same thing every day for the last week and a half. Now I did hand wash my dress each night – I still have standards – but I hadn't used the spare change that was in my duffle bag. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it was because I felt more professional in my work clothes, and that was a feeling I liked. It made me feel stronger, more confident. But that illusion was a little diminished when the clothes were as messed up as this. At last I decided change into my spare set, which consisted of a pink halter-top that said "Sweetheart" on the front and a jean miniskirt. Much to my surprise, I found myself wondering what Sandvich would think of this new outfit.

He really was a good guy. Caring, kind, considerate, protective…where were the guys like him back in the city? I quickly pushed that thought away. I was happy with just having a very good friend in Dick Sandvich. Besides, I had been down that road with too many boyfriends before, and all of them were just…disappointing. They had started out as seemingly nice guys, but things always took a turn for the worse when the relationship became more serious. Well, I wasn't going to make that mistake ever again. Sandvich was a very nice friend, nothing more.

With that thought firmly in place, I ventured back into the hallway. He was already halfway down it, obviously coming to see if I was ready yet, and my confidence vanished. I suddenly felt very exposed. There was nothing for me to hide behind now. When Sandvich stopped in front of me, I couldn't help but fidget under his gaze.

"'Sweetheart,' eh? Very fitting for you," Sandvich told me, taking my hand. I blushed, causing him to chuckle. "Let us go," he said, still holding my hand. And I let him lead me like that. I didn't pull away. In fact, I more than happy to walk right by his side. Why was I suddenly so okay with this? Was it really just because of what happened with the dream? I couldn't understand it.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't realized how far we had walked. Suddenly, Sandvich stopped, pulling me behind him. He was tense, and I could practically see his eyes scanning the area. "What's going on?" I whispered, my fear rising. Something had to be very wrong for him to act like this.

He didn't say anything in response. Instead he pulled me over to a small wooden shed. "Stay put," he told me sternly, pushing me into the shed. "I will come back when all is safe." I nodded, trying not to panic. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before leaving me alone.

I crouched down in a corner, struggling to keep myself from screaming and running in terror. Something was definitely wrong. _Relax, Kami,_ I told myself. _Sandvich will be back soon, and then everything will be fine. You'll see, this was just one big false alarm and then we'll have a good laugh over it. _

A small sound by the doorway almost gave me a heart attack. I looked up to see a girl dressed in white standing just outside of my hiding place. Strangely, the way she looked reminded me of my favorite non-existent singer, Hatsune Miku. However, her clothes reminded me of my favorite non-existent villain, GLaDOS. Suddenly, she back flipped and whirled around to face me. She laughed, but it didn't sound natural. It sounded mechanical and forced, and it definitely sounded like GLaDOS. What the _hell_ is going on?

"Gotcha," she giggled, grabbing my shoulders. _The turrets_. Oh my god, she sounded like the turrets now.

Where was Sandvich? Why wasn't he coming to save me? My protector was gone, I was cornered, I had no weapon…No, wait. Something heavy was now in my hand. I looked down to find the longsword from yesterday in my hand. Where had that come from? Best not to question that right now. I raised it up, making sure Chibi MiKOS, as I decided to call my assailant, could see it. "Let me go," I demanded, my voice shaking.

She merely looked at it. "Hello?" she said, sounding mildly interested, before launching up into the air, emitting the same sound as a dying turret, before creating a very large fireball and hurling it at me. I dove and ran, vaguely aware of a searing heat on my arm, but there was so much adrenaline pumping through me that I really didn't stop to focus on it. However, I was also running blind and I fell off a ledge that I had been quite unaware of until there was suddenly no ground beneath my feet.

I lost my sword during the fall and landed hard on what appeared to be a bridge. I stood up, noticing that amazingly I wasn't hurt. Two major falls in two days without any injury? This has got to be some kind of record. But I could always call Ripley's Believe It or Not later. Right now I had a crazed videogame nightmare come to life to deal with. I looked up, searching for Chibi MiKOS, but I didn't see her.

Suddenly I heard laughter behind me, but this wasn't MiKOS's laugh, I was certain of that. Someone grabbed me from behind, and I whipped my head around to come face to face with a one-eyed black man. "I'm Private Haircut," he said in a distinct Scottish accent, and immediately hard metal music began playing from…somewhere…I glanced around, wondering if I could find the source, but no luck. It stopped just as abruptly as it started as the black Scot told me, "An' I've been shaggin' your wife!" Now this really confused me. I was more befuddled than scared now. I could clearly smell alcohol on his breath, but even that didn't explain why he just told me that. And then he laughed again with the freakiest grin on his face. Good lord, am I just a magnet for psychopaths? I was actually becoming more irritated than scared now.

"NO!" came a roar that could've only come from Sandvich (Where had he been?) as he literally launched himself at Private Haircut, tackling him to the ground. "Kami is not a lesbian!" he shouted at the pinned man before, and I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine this, crushing his skull in with his bare hands. I was both horrified and a little troubled by this. Did Private Haircut really deserve that? Sure, the guy was nuts, but he really wasn't trying to kill me. Not like the way Chibi MiKOS was. Speaking of that white-haired lunatic, where was she?

A loud snarl came from somewhere above me. _Oh crap._ Chibi MiKOS dove at me, and I'm not sure if she landed on me or if I just tripped and fell, but either way I ended up on the ground with her looming over me, growling and snarling like the Red Core. "HELP!" I shrieked, struggling to push her off of me, but she was too strong.

"Oh, this is bad," I heard Sandvich say. _Gee, no shit, Sherlock!_ I wanted to yell at him, but I was too busy dealing with the slobbering schizophrenic to do much else. Then I heard an elated shout of "Aha!" This got MiKOS's attention. I looked down out of the corner of my eye to see Sandvich holding the longsword. With another enraged roar, he threw to sword, planting it firmly in MiKOS's face. The force knocked her off of both me and the bridge, and I could hear a sickening splat as she hit the ground below.

I heard a soft giggle come from where she landed. "Naptime. No hard feelings," were her last words. I sat up panting, and I dared to look down at her. I instantly regretted it, feeling sick to my stomach at the weird way she had landed with that sword just sticking up out of her head.

"Kami?" I dragged myself away from the horrible scene to the other side of the bridge and looked down at Sandvich. All of the anger was gone from his face and was replaced by worry. "Stay put," he told me. "I will get you."

"No argument here," I muttered, closing my eyes. I was still shaking from a mixture of fear and adrenaline. After a moment, I felt him kneel down beside me. I looked up, wondering if he would be upset that I had disobeyed his orders and left the shed. But no, he looked _scared_.

"You are hurt," he said, staring at my right arm. I looked down at it. A bright red welt lightly outlined with black singe marks was beginning to form on the upper part of it. I guess that fireball had hit me after all. Sandvich gently took my arm and began examining it, prodding around the burn. I yelped when he actually touched the raw skin. I knew he was being careful, but it _hurt_! Sandvich immediately pulled his hand away. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. I nodded, trying to ignore the searing pain that was still pulsing through my arm. Sandvich obviously wasn't fooled. "I am sorry. Is my fault you got hurt," he rumbled as he picked me up, being careful to avoid touching my injured arm.

"No it isn't," I said, somewhat surprised that he blamed himself. "You didn't know she was there."

"You are very sweet girl, Kami," he said gratefully, cuddling me closer.

"You know, it's just my arm that's hurt. I can still walk. You don't have to carry me," I pointed out.

"Is okay. I do not mind," Sandvich said. I smiled up at my friend, relaxing into his arms. There was no point in arguing with him. Besides, I was quite content here.

Sandvich brought me to the kitchen as soon as we got back to 2fort. He placed me on the counter beside the sink, and then stopped, uncertain of what to do. I guess he had never had to deal with burn wounds before. "Towel, cold water, place over burn," I unintentionally snapped at him. I hadn't meant to sound angry, but the pain from the burn had worsened tenfold now that my body had stopped producing adrenaline. The pain was killing me now.

Sandvich jumped to do as I said. I hissed in pain as he placed the wet towel over the burn, but gave him a reassuring nod. He had done it correctly. I could literally feel the heat being dragged out of my arm by the cold water, and it felt wonderful. "Thank you," I quietly said after a minute. "I'm sorry for snapping before. I didn't mean it, but –"

I was cut off by Sandvich placing a finger on my lips. "Shh. I know," he said. A comfortable silence fell over us as he continued seeing to the burn. He was so gentle with it that I could hardly believe those were the same hands that had crushed a man's head not even an hour ago. I owed this giant man so much. He had so willingly given me a home, food, protection, and friendship, and had never asked for anything in return. How could I ever repay him for it all?

"Is better?" Sandvich asked after a while.

"It's much better now. Thank you."

"Very good," he said, half to himself. There was another pause, but I felt that Sandvich wanted to say something else. And at last, he did. "We make good team, da?"

I giggled at this. I hadn't really thought I did anything at all, but I decided to let him believe what he wanted. Again, it was easier not to argue, and he looked happy. Why spoil that? "Yes. Yes we do," I told him.

He grinned and leaned in closer. "Kiss me," he said.

I blinked, startled. What had he just asked for? His free hand was suddenly behind my head, pulling me closer. And then his lips were on mine. Fear spiked in me for split second. This was wrong! What was he doing? And then it vanished, replaced by some unidentifiable emotion. I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. Strangely, I didn't fight the sudden slightly-forced kiss. Even stranger, I actually found myself leaning into it, accepting it, perhaps even returning it.

Sandvich pulled back after a moment, almost disappointing the side of me that had enjoyed the kiss, and beamed at me. "Thank you," he said as he returned his attention to my arm again. I wasn't entirely sure of what I was supposed to say in reply, so I just stayed silent, instead opting to rest my head against his chest. "How is burn?"

"It…it's fine." In all honestly, I had completely forgotten about it because of what had just happened. I was a little weirded out by that kiss.

"Kami?" Sandvich sounded very concerned. He touched my good shoulder. I almost flinched away from it, but managed to stay still.

"Don't worry. I'm just a bit…out of it from what happened earlier today," I lied.

"Oh." He, not surprisingly, didn't sound convinced. In fact, he sounded pretty hurt. I think I messed up big time.

I spent the rest of the day sort of avoiding Sandvich. I was so freaked out by that kiss. Why did he do that? He wasn't in love with me, was he? And why did I actually like it? Sure, it felt a bit rough and unpracticed, but it also felt real. And I practically kissed him back! What was I thinking? All of this was just too much for me.

That night, Sandvich wouldn't even enter my room to wish me a good night's rest. That actually hurt quite a bit, probably as much as it hurt him when I had steered clear of him today. I don't think he was trying to get back at me. He probably thought that I wanted him to stay away and was only trying to make me happy. But that wasn't what I wanted at all! Except…I wasn't sure what I did want anymore…

I curled up in bed, feeling exceedingly lonely. My room, which had been comfortably cozy, now felt like a prison cell. It was too small. And the bed suddenly felt too big. I felt lost in the center of it despite the fact that it was barely one step up from a camping fold-out cot.

I lied. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted Dick Sandvich. But I was too afraid to go to his room and beg for his forgiveness. I know it was irrational, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I just tossed and turned until I finally fell into a restless sleep.

… … … … … … …

_I stared out into the black void. I knew this place far too well, and I dreaded it. _

"_Glad to see that you've come back," hissed the voice. This was different. She had never directly addressed me like this before._

"_Just leave me alone," I told the voice. _

"_Now where would the fun be in that? No, it's much more fun to watch you squirm. So where did you go last night?"she asked. I refused to answer. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of having power over me. Suddenly, she began laughing. "Oh my god, you've found yourself another man!" _

"_No I haven't!"_

"_Oh, don't lie to me. You know that I can see right through all of your pathetic excuses for lies." I suddenly got the distinct feeling that she was circling me. I was being hunted by the voice._

"_Fine. Yes, I found a man, but he's just a friend, that's all." _

"_Really? If he's 'just a friend,' why did you kiss him?"_

"_It was a friendship kiss! Besides, he started it." Oh god, really? 'He started it?' What, was I back in second grade again? That didn't work then, and it certainly didn't work now._

"_Um, actually, no. As I recall, _you_ started it. Remember this morning? _You_ kissed _him._"_

"_Go away," I snarled. I was rapidly losing this argument. Why couldn't I just wake up?_

"_Admit it, you love him."_

"_I said, _go away_." I was starting to get scared._

"_Kami, Kami, Kami," the voice said in mocking disappointment. "You never learn, do you? What has happened every time you fell in love? You trusted a man, gave your heart to him, and he left you. He used you, and then he left you. Face it, girly, you are nothing more than a _thing_, an _it_, to all of these so-called boyfriends. They clearly didn't want you. Why should this new one be any different?"_

"_SHUT UP! He's not a boyfriend! Besides, Sandvich loves me! He told me so!" My voice cracked. Oh no, please don't start crying._

"_He told you that he loves you?" The voice started to laugh uncontrollably. "Honey, don't they all tell you that? I can't believe you're still falling for it!" The voice abruptly turned deadly serious. "He doesn't love you."_

"_Please, just go away," I whimpered. The tears were beginning to well up, I could feel them._

"_He doesn't love you," the voice repeated, louder this time. "He doesn't care about you."_

"_He kissed me," I mewled, the first tear falling._

"_He's stringing you along. He's using you. And the second he gets what he wants from you, he's going to leave you. Just like all of the others, he's going to leave you." The voice was getting closer._

"_You're lying," I sobbed. "You're wrong!"_

_The voice suddenly turned gentle and tender. "Am I? Was I wrong about all of the others? I'm only trying to look out for you. When all of the others left you all alone, I was there for you, wasn't I?"_

"_Stop it. Please. Just stop it. Leave me alone."_

"_I won't leave you alone. I never have before."_

"_Go away!"I shrieked through my tears. She was next to me, I knew it. _

"_No. Because when all of the others are gone, I will still be here. Unlike them, I care about you. I won't ever abandon you. I'm nice like that. I'm your only real friend." Cold, clammy hands grabbed my wrists. "I will always be here," the voice hissed venomously directly into my ear._

_I screamed._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I am stupid! I had frightened away my little Kami away. I had not meant to. This morning she had been so affectionate. She kissed my cheek, and she had accepted my own kiss in return. She finally trusted me. And I had ruined it all by giving her a real kiss. I should not have pushed her like that. I should have waited, but I felt so bad about what had happened to her.

I should not have left her alone. I had foolishly thought that she would be safer if she was hidden. It had not occurred to me that I had clearly left her cornered in a tiny room, or that the enemy might find her there. It was my fault that Kami had been attacked and hurt. Yet she denied that. She told me it was not my fault. She was being so brave even with everything that had happened. I admired her immensely for that. Even if she was afraid of everything that moved, she was brave. She was forgiving, compassionate, and very loving. I hated how she held herself in such low esteem. Why could she not see that she was a good person? That was why I kissed her. I wanted her to know that she was worth more than what she thought, and I thought it would be okay because of what happened this morning. But when I pulled away, she looked so confused and afraid. I wished I could rewind time. I had made a very big mistake. She spent the rest of the day hiding from me, which made me feel worse. I had hurt my Kami when I was only trying to help her. She looked so sad and lost when we said our good nights. I got away from her as quickly as I could. I did not wish to harm her further.

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. I wanted Kami. I liked having her curled up next to me. We had only spent one night together, but I felt so lonely without her now. But she obviously needed her space. I had promised myself that I would stay away and give that to her, but it was driving me mad. Surely one little peek into her room would not hurt her. She should be asleep now. She would never know, and I would have my peace of mind that she was still okay.

Finally I could not take it any longer and started down to her room. But as I got closer, I heard the sound of rustling sheets. I stopped, confused. Kami was still awake? But it was so late! Then I heard a pitiful mewl come from her room. I forgot my stealthy mission and rushed into her room. Kami was struggling against some unseen force, tears visibly streaming down her cheeks.

"Kami? Kami, wake up!"

Kami did not wake up; she only became more and more frantic. I was afraid that she would hurt herself if she continued struggling like this. She already had the burn and my own stupidity to deal with. She did not need any more pain. Quickly, I grabbed her wrists to prevent her from flailing around too much. This was what pulled her out of her nightmare. Her eyes flew open as she screamed.

"Kami, it is only me!" I cried, trying to calm her.

"Let go! Why can't you leave me alone?" she sobbed as she fought to get out of my grasp, her eyes wide with pure terror.

That hurt at first. I was only trying to help her. But she was not looking at me as she said it; she did not seem to be looking at anything at all. I realized that she still thought she was trapped in the dream. "Kami, I am Dick Sandvich!" I said urgently, hoping it would be enough to snap her out of it. She immediately froze and lay there panting. Her eyes finally focused on my face and searched it as though she was still uncertain if it really was me. I let go of one wrist and placed my hand on her cheek. "You are safe now," I told her.

"Sandvich?" she whispered hesitantly.

I nodded. A heartbeat passed before she began to cry again, turning her face into my palm. What had her nightmare been about to have affected her like this? I gathered the poor girl into my arms and sat down on the bed. She buried her face into my shirt, clinging to me as though she was afraid I would vanish at any second. I gently rocked her and talked to her, hoping that it would be enough to comfort her.

"You love me, right?" she suddenly asked in between sobs.

"What?" I was caught off guard by her question. Why would she ask that? If I did not love her, would I be here trying to help her and calm her?

"The voice," Kami said. "The voice said you didn't love me. She said you didn't care about me, that you'd abandon me the first chance you got. But she's lying, right?" She suddenly looked up at me, desperation in her eyes. "She's making it up, isn't she? You do love and care about me. You do, don't you? Please. Please say you do. Please..." She curled her head back down into my shirt again, her tears renewed.

I stared at her. What a horrible dream, to be convinced that a friend does not like you! She should know better than to believe that! "Kami, look at me." She hesitated, but did as I asked. "Why would you ask that? You are my friend. I care about you greatly. And Kami, always remember this: as long as I live, you are loved. And I will never leave you, Kami. _Never_."

Kami stared up at me before nodding. "I'll remember," she whispered, wiping away her tears. She looked away again, but at least she was not curling up into a terrified ball anymore. She was still shaking and sniffling from all her crying, but that was also okay. She was calmer now. "I'm sorry," she said at last.

"For what?"

"Your shirt's wet."

I could not stop myself. I began laughing at her from the sheer silliness of the thought of me being angry over a tear-stained shirt. "Oh, Kami, ya tak lyublyu tebia," I said, wiping a tear from my own eye.

"What does that mean?" she asked. I had forgotten she could not understand Russian.

I held her even closer. "'I love you so much,'" I translated and immediately froze. I had not been thinking when I said that. I had confessed my feelings to her. All I could do now was hope that it did not frighten her. She stared at me for a second, the confusion and surprise clear on her face. Then she slowly smiled and snuggled into my chest with a content sigh. Relief flooded through me. She was not afraid, and she had accepted what I said. She even seemed happy about it. Maybe…maybe she loved me too.

After a moment, she shifted herself so she could see my face. "Um, hate to be a bother, but could I sleep with you again tonight?" she asked, her cheeks turning a little red.

I chuckled, not bothering to answer her question. I just stood up with her still in my arms and carried her to my room. She immediately cuddled into me once we were in bed. I wrapped an arm around her. Yes, this felt right. I decided that from now on, she would be sleeping here with me. No more dreams could hurt her if I was here.

"Sandvich?" she whispered, interrupting my thoughts. "I'm sorry about how I treated you earlier today."

"Is okay. I am sorry for scaring you. I went too far."

"I'm better now." There was a very long pause and I thought she had fallen asleep.

"Sandvich?" came the little voice again. I smiled. Guess not.

"Da?"

There was another pause. And then, in the smallest voice possible, she said, "Ya t-tak l-lublyu teba."

My heart warmed at this. "Not bad for first time," I teased. So what if she stumbled over the words? I was proud all the same. "Very, very good," I praised her, gently hugging her.

"Thank you," she said sleepily. "Good night."

I stayed awake, listening to her breathing slowly even out as she fell asleep. I stroked her hair, watching the small smile that formed on her lips. Not only had she just said that she loved me, she had tried to say it in my language. Did she truly mean it, or was she only trying to be nice? I hoped that she did love me, or at least that I could teach her to love me. I never wanted to lose this sweet little girl. "Sleep well, my little Kami."

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Things changed during the next week. Sandvich had insisted that I move into his room and flat-out refused to take "no" for an answer. I knew that all he wanted to do was protect me from the nightmare and that I had in fact spent the last two nights with him, but it still seemed a little taboo to me to share a bed with a man. I had tried to explain this to him, but he still refused to let me sleep alone. However, some of what I said must've gotten through as he had set up a cot right next to his bed.

"Now you have your own bed, but if you get scared, I will be here," he had explained to me. He was obviously very proud of himself. It was cute really. "You will not have bad dreams now. I will not let them hurt you," he promised.

And he had been right. The nightmares had stopped after the move. Except I now had a new dilemma. Well, that may be the wrong term to use, but it was certainly a mystery if nothing else. I know that I went to sleep each night in my cot, but every morning without fail I woke up nestled in the arms of my giant friend. He was always awake before I was, so I had toyed with the idea that this was his way of nicely waking me up, but somehow that theory just didn't make sense. And it was highly unlikely that I had simply rolled over and ended up against him because there was a four inch height difference between my cot and his bed. So either my subconscious self really wanted to stay close to him or Sandvich was moving me after I fell asleep.

Did this creep me out? A little. Did I want to run away and hide, never to enter his room again? Amazingly enough, no. I, the endlessly terrified Kami, was fine with this. I don't think I've ever trusted anyone so completely the way I trust Sandvich. I've never let anyone get so close to me, and I'm not talking just about physically. I had openly cried in front of him. I've _never_ let anyone else see my tears, no matter how sad or scared I was. I believe that crying shows I'm weak, and I refused to let anyone see that side of me. But I had cried in front of him. Hell, I had cried _into_ him. And he didn't laugh or make fun of me or leave me to cry alone. He stayed and offered me all the kindness and comfort he could. And, incredibly, I didn't feel weak then. I felt a little helpless, but it was okay because Sandvich was there to help me. It felt good to stop hiding behind all of the masks I had created to protect myself. I didn't need to protect myself from Sandvich. _He_ protected _me_.

Something in me changed that night. I officially didn't want to leave anymore. I never wanted to be away from my guardian and my friend ever again. Wherever he was, that's where I wanted to be.

As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I loved him, and I don't think it was "just as a friend" anymore. I'm fairly certain I wasn't _in _love with him. But…maybe I was…I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. After I had gotten over the initial shock of it, which _had_ taken me a while, I had to confess that I did like it and the emotions that came with it. I wanted to feel that again. I wanted to kiss him. But…how was that supposed to happen? I think the way I had reacted last time had made Sandvich a bit paranoid about doing something wrong again, so odds were that he wasn't going to make the first move. And there was no way I was going to ask him to kiss me. It just seemed awkward to me, so that wasn't an option either.

I gingerly rubbed the burn mark. It had healed quite nicely. It still hurt a bit and there was a small scar forming where it had been the worst, but all in all it was much better. This was probably due to Sandvich obsessing over it. I had tried to explain to him that there wasn't much you could do for a burn other than letting it run its course, but he had it in his head that if he kept tending to it the way I had "taught" him to, it would heal perfectly. He had been so upset when he found the scar. The poor guy blamed himself for it. He believed I was permanently marked by his stupidity, and nothing I said could change his mind. He began teaching me what dangers lurked about and how I could avoid them instead of just hiding me away. I was happy to learn all of this, but I hated the reason he was doing it for. He didn't trust his abilities to keep me safe anymore. While I was glad to now know what to look out for, I wished he would stop being so hard on himself. Then again, I guess that's a bit of a case of the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?

"Kami?" I almost jumped out of my skin. I had been so lost in thought I had completely missed Sandvich entering my old room. Although I now bunked with him, I still came here whenever I needed to think. My visits had been becoming more and more frequent, and I think that was making Sandvich worried.

"Oh, hi. What's up?" I said, trying to sound as casual as possible, not that it fooled him.

"It hurts again?" he asked, gently brushing my hand away from the burn so he could see for himself.

"No, no. It's fine. I was just…thinking, and I rub my arm when I think. It's just a habit of mine," I answered a little too quickly.

He grunted in response, obviously not buying it. He didn't say anything and just examined what was left of the burn. My heart broke a little when I saw the guilt in his eyes. He sighed softly before looking away from it. "Kami, you have been hiding again. You have been quiet too. Why?"

"I…It's just…It isn't your fault," I said lamely. "I'm not trying to hide. I've just been…It's nothing really…But I…I…" Why couldn't I just say what I wanted to say? I didn't even know where to start. I turned away, slightly ashamed of myself. I felt him place his hands on my shoulders. "I love you," I finally managed to choke out.

"What? That is it?" he asked with a chuckle. He physically turned me around so I was facing him, but I didn't raise my eyes from the ground. "I love you too."

"Well, yes, of course. But it's more than that. I…I can't explain it. I mean, I _love _–" In my desperation to get him to understand, I had looked up into his eyes. "– you." I could see it there, plain as day. He felt the same as I did. Why hadn't I figured it out before now? How dense could I possibly get?

Sandvich smiled and nodded. He took my hands, gently pulling me closer, and leaned forward slightly. My heart skipped a beat. Was he going to kiss me? Oh, how I wanted the answer to be "yes." But then he stopped, just inches away. I almost mewled in desperation. Why had he stopped? Didn't he know I wanted this?

But then, maybe he didn't know. The last kiss had sort of ended up with…less than desirable results. He wasn't going to push me this time. He was letting me decide for myself. And yet, I hesitated. I was still afraid of rejection, which was silly. I knew he wasn't going to do that to me. I had been so hung up on how many times I had been hurt that I had blinded myself to the fact that things were different now. The walls I had set up to defend myself were making it impossible for me to accept and return the love that was being offered to me. I had to let go and move on.

Shaking slightly, I moved closer to him. I paused, building up my courage, and kissed him. The emotions that came with it were just as confusing and as wonderful as they had been before, but this time I accepted them. He let go of my hands and instead pulled me into a warm embrace, gently supporting my trembling body. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him. I don't know how long the kiss went on and I don't know who ended it. What I did know was it felt like my legs had turned to mush. If Sandvich hadn't been holding me, I'm certain that I would've collapsed. His hand gently caressed my cheeks, and it took me a moment to realize that he was wiping away tears that I had previously been unaware of.

"Why are you crying? Was it bad?" he asked.

"It was anything but bad," I answered, despite the fact that I was still trembling a little.

He held me tighter. "My little Kami," he murmured. He had often called me that before, but this time it sounded different. It was still full of love the way it had always been, but there was a possessive note in it this time. He was _claiming_ me. I buried my face into his shirt, feeling a few more tears escape. I was a little scared about where it went from here, but I didn't have to deal with that fear alone anymore. I'd never have to be alone again. Dick Sandvich wouldn't allow that. I was his now, and he would help me get through it.

"Thank you," I whispered, cuddling closer to my friend…to my…to my love.

**Ah, fluff. I love it. Which is strange, because I usually hate romances. Go figure. Actually, enjoy the fluffiness while you can, because things are about to go very wrong. **

**And I know that Chibi MiKOS is very random, but I like her. Again, thank TheInvertedShadow for that bit of crazy awesomeness. **

**Read, review, and stay tuned. Things are about to kick into high gear. See ya!**


	5. Chapter 4: Of Love and Loss

**Wow, okay, so this took me a while. I just got really distracted by college and needed to put all my focus on studying for the Calculus and the Chemistry finals. But now I'm back and hopefully I'll get these up a bit faster than I have been. Still, I thank you all for your patience.**

**This chapter is also extremely long. The reason for this is because I had wanted to play around with writing styles a bit so I wrote this huge side-story that delved a bit further into Kami's and Sandvich's relationship, their thoughts and feelings on it. I also wanted more practice for writing in Sandvich's POV. I sent the end result off to Shadow, and he liked it so much that he told me to figure out a way to put it in here. Chronologically, it fit here the best, so the entire first two-thirds of this chapter is that story. I know, really long, but yeah. It works, and I'm rather proud of it. The rest of this is based on "Kami Meets Vagineer" Parts 1 and some of 2. **

**Disclaimer: TF2 goes to Valve, Christian Brutal Sniper goes to KelThuzadMadness, Vagineer goes to J16FOX, and the rest I guess are in a way shared between TheInvertedShadow and myself.**

Chapter 4: Of Love and Loss

Two nights later found Sandvich and I lying on the roof of 2fort, looking at the stars. We had started off hunting for specific constellations, but since neither of us were astronomers, we settled for simply picking out any interesting shapes we found. There was really no reason for why we had decided to spend the night doing this; it had simply seemed like something nice to do. It certainly was relaxing if nothing else.

"That one looks like sandvich," he said, pointing to a small cluster of stars. I giggled but patted his hand to let him know I meant nothing by it. It was just cute how food was usually the first thing on his mind. "Is your turn now."

"That one over there looks like a flower. Maybe a lily," I said after a moment of searching.

"Is very pretty." I heard him shift beside me. "Like you," he added quietly. I felt my cheeks grow warm. I had never quite gotten used to those compliments that he'd give me, mostly because they came so spontaneously.

"Thank you," I said shyly, not really sure of what else I could do.

He suddenly leaned in over me, placing a hand on either side of my shoulders. I knew it wasn't his intent, but he had effectively trapped me beneath him. Instinctively, I tensed and cringed. The memories I had spent so long learning to repress and ignore flooded back to me. "Kami?" Sandvich sounded worried. I tried to answer, but found I couldn't speak. The best I could do was weakly push against his chest to get him away from me. Sandvich understood and backed off, but there was a hurt look in his eyes. "What is wrong?"

I didn't sit up, feeling ashamed of myself, and looked away. "It's…it's nothing," I said, my voice shaking slightly.

"No, Kami. Is not 'nothing.'" I was surprised by the forceful tone he suddenly took on. His hand turned my head to face him. "Tell me," he said much more gently. "Why are you so afraid?"

"It's because of…of _him_," I said bitterly, still battling with the memories. Sandvich's hand remained on my cheek, and when I didn't continue, he began rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I allowed this to soothe me for a moment before turning my head away again. I couldn't look at him while explaining to him why I had been so afraid. "I've had fairly bad luck when it comes to relationships. The guys I was with rarely treated me like an actual person. For one of them, I was just a steady stream of income; for another, a trophy, just a pretty decoration to hang off his arm. But the very last one I had, I was just a…a body. He wanted to…he wanted me to…"

I couldn't say it. I rolled over so my back was to Sandvich, trying to hide my tears from him. I could still hear the voice of that bastard, telling me to take off my clothes. I remembered his hands trying to pull my shirt off. I remembered him threatening to kill me if I didn't do as he said. I remembered being trapped beneath him, him _touching_ me. I remembered being terrified and hating him with all my heart and soul.

"He wanted to use me," I whimpered, unable to find any other way to voice it.

After a moment, I felt Sandvich's hand on my arm. "Did he…succeed?"

"No. I got away. I'm still not entirely sure how. I vaguely remember someone coming and helping me, but I don't remember what happened exactly. I don't want to remember any of that day." I broke off, struggling not to burst into tears. "But I can't forget it either. It happened years ago, but I can't forget it. I want to, but I can't. He made me hate and fear men." I craned my neck so I could see Sandvich. I couldn't read his expression, but that could also have been from the tears that clouded my eyes. "And so I'm scared of you," I said softly.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I had no idea that this was why Kami had been so afraid of me. I was sickened by this man who tried to force himself on her. How could anyone want to do that to another being, especially to one as sweet as this girl?

_I had_, I realized painfully. I remembered what the very first thing I had told her the day we met. _"I am going to fuck your ass!"_ I was disgusted with myself. How could I have ever considered doing that to her? It was no wonder that she had always flinched away from me and watched me like a hawk for that first week. She was afraid I was going to hurt her, just like this man had tried to. Certainly he had been tiny compared to me, and she had not been able to fight him off by herself. She would not stand a chance against me. What if she still believed that I would try to do that to her?

I lifted the trembling girl into my lap. She was holding back tears. I shifted her so that her head was on my shoulder. "Go ahead and cry, Kami," I told her. Moments later, her body began shaking violently as she sobbed. I gently rocked her, but I could not say anything to comfort her. The very thought that I had wanted to hurt her was enough to make me want to cry as well, but my own tears would have to wait. Kami needed me to be strong for her now.

The poor girl would not stop crying. It seemed like she kept going until she had no tears left. While I hated seeing her like this, it must be good for her to let all of the pain out. At last she pushed herself away from me. She kept her head bowed, trying to hide her face from me. This behavior irritated me. I did not want her to hide from me. Why did she insist on it? She did not need to. Did she honestly believe that I would be upset with her? I lifted her chin, forcing her to look at me. I was expecting to see the sadness and the fear that were still in her eyes, but I was not expecting to see shame as well. "Kami, do not feel scared or ashamed. There is no reason for it," I told her, trying not to sound as bothered by her behavior as I felt. "You do not need to be afraid of me." When I moved my hand up to her cheek, fear flashed in her eyes and she flinched away as though it hurt her. It took her a second to realize that no pain would come to her before she relaxed and leaned into my hand. Her cheeks were still wet with tears. This poor, poor little girl. If I ever found the man that did this to her, I would make him suffer for it.

"I know…I know I shouldn't be scared of you, but…" She looked away from me as her voice cracked. "But I am…Sandvich, I…I don't want to be afraid anymore."

My heart broke at how desperate she sounded. "Look at me," I said gently, and she hesitantly obeyed. "Kami, do you believe me when I tell you I will not hurt you?" She nodded, and then shivered. Concerned, I dropped my hand to her shoulder and frowned at how cold her skin felt. How did I miss that before? I stood and pulled her to her feet. "Come. Is warm inside. We will continue this later."

Kami nodded and let me lead her inside. She would not look at me as she picked up her nightshirt from our room, still trying to hide her tear-stained face from me. I watched sadly as she walked away, seeing her step falter slightly as she turned the corner to go into the bathroom to change. I felt terrible for the poor girl. I wanted to go to her and hold her in my arms, wipe the tears off of her cheeks, kiss her, tell her everything would be fine. But I stayed where I was, hoping that giving her a few moments to herself would somehow help her. Deep down, I knew it would not.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I stood shaking in the bathroom. I still wanted to cry, but I didn't have any tears left. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had told Sandvich the one thing I had vowed never to tell anyone. Not one friend or family member knew that I had almost been raped. The person that "saved" me was just some stranger I had never met before in my life. He had heard me screaming and came to investigate, which had scared my aggressor away. The memories I had fought so hard to bottle up and ignore wouldn't go away. I would think that I had them under control again, and then they would blindside me and I'd have to cling to the sink to keep from collapsing under the terror and anguish they brought.

One memory stood out from the rest, but it wasn't from that awful day. My mind kept replaying the moment I had met Dick Sandvich. He had wanted to do the same thing to me, too. I was almost entirely certain that he would never do that to me now, but the thought had been ingrained into my mind now. Did Sandvich even know he threatened me like that? For all his careful attention to me, he had this sort of innocent naiveté about him that made me wonder if he understood what he had done to me. He had instilled a fear in me that, up until now, I had been able to suppress. Now there was a part of me that was almost afraid to change into my nightshirt. I knew he hadn't done anything to me, but I was sleeping in the bed next to him, making me vulnerable enough. Being dressed in merely one of his shirts would only make me even more so. Then again, I had been there for a week and he hadn't tried to touch me…But I did wake up each morning in his bed…He wasn't feeling me up while I slept, was he?

I immediately began berating myself for all of these thoughts and changed anyway. I was being stupid. Sandvich would never do anything like that to me. Or, at least, that's what I hoped…I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I was an absolute wreck, my cheeks still puffy and my eyes still red from crying on the roof. I was so ashamed of myself for even thinking he would still try to rape me. But what if he thought that because he loved me and I had said that I loved him, doing _that _would be okay? But that was silly, wasn't it? He was smarter than that…right? Damn me and my irrational fears!

I saw Sandvich enter the room in the mirror's reflection. He stood in the doorway for a moment, studying me. My paranoid mind wouldn't leave me alone. Was he trying to figure out how to make me feel better, or was he just enjoying the view? No, that couldn't be right; he looked sad. The giant sighed heavily before coming up behind me. I tried not to flinch away as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "My poor little Kami," he rumbled softly, pulling me close against him. I trembled slightly, a little unnerved by the position we were in, him holding me from behind. I tried to pull away and was about to protest when he cut me off. "Hush, Kami. All is well," he said gently. I stopped trying to break away but I found myself unable to relax either. I stared at our reflection: me, tiny and miserable; him, huge and concerned.

Out of the blue, he nuzzled my neck, sending another shiver down my spine. What was he doing to me? It took me a lot of self-control to keep from panicking. "Please do not be afraid of me, Kami," he murmured. _Damn._ I had hoped he wouldn't notice my nervousness.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

He didn't answer. Instead, he pulled me away from the sink and moved so he was in front of me, never letting go of me. "Kami, I…" he started and stopped abruptly. He closed his eyes, and for a second I could swear he was in pain. Maybe he did remember how he had threatened me. He sighed and opened his eyes, letting me see the sadness in them. He looked into mine as he tightened his grip on me slightly. "I am not like him. I will not hurt you like that. _Never_," he told me. I had never heard him sound so serious and sincere before. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, but to me it sounded like he was making this promise to himself as well as to me. His tone changed from apologetic to loving. "You said you do not want to be afraid, da?" I could only nod in reply. "I also do not want you to be afraid," he murmured, gently running his fingers through my hair. "Let me help you."

"How?" I honestly didn't know what he could do to help me. I hadn't been able to get over that incident for three years. What did he think he could do?

Sandvich simply hugged me. I rested my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was steady and strong, and to me, it was the most comforting sound in the world right now. "Trust me, Kami," he answered at last, more as a request than anything else.

I didn't answer him for a long time, trying to figure out what he meant and what he had in mind. In the end, I decided that only thing I really could do was just what he asked of me; I had to trust him to take care of me and not let anything bad happen to me. "Okay," I finally whispered, looking back up into his face.

He nodded with a small smile, his eyes soft and loving. "Good girl, Kami."

His hands took mine and I let him lead me to our bedroom. I expected him to let me go when we reached it, but he didn't. Instead he sat down on the edge of his bed and pulled me towards him. I thought he wanted me to sit next to him, but he stopped me when I tried to do so. Instead, he half-coaxed, half-forced me to sit sideways on his lap. I perched there uncertainly as his arms closed around me again, gently holding me against his chest. There was a part of me that really wanted him to let me go. The way he had been holding onto me was beginning to make me nervous. It felt like he was trying to keep me from getting away, which maybe he was. Why was he trying to keep me so close to him? What was he going to do to me?

Just then, his hand began rubbing my back, simultaneously soothing me and making me more nervous. He had just unwittingly found my weakness. The slow rhythmic motion was lulling me into a calm trance, making me more helpless than I already was. He could do anything he wanted to do to me right now, and I wouldn't be able to stop him. I should be scared out of my mind, but it was so soothing and gentle…it felt so nice…so loving…

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I smiled to myself as the little girl relaxed, becoming little more than a ragdoll in my arms. She did not seem to realize it, but she was easier to read than she thought. Her arms wrapped loosely around the one that held her like it was a teddy bear, making my heart melt again. She was so cute, and I loved being relied on like this.

Kami was much calmer now. Certainly she would not be this way if she did not trust me. I decided to try something different. With one finger, I traced the length on her spine. Kami immediately tensed and let out a soft mewl. No good. This was not what I wanted to do to her. I went back to the slow circles I had been using, which soothed her back to her ragdoll state in a matter of minutes. I would have to remember this trick for the future if she ever got scared again, and knowing poor little Kami, that would be often.

And now for what I knew would scare her. I truly did not want to do this to her, but I had to show her she was safe with me. She was so relaxed that she did not seem to notice me moving her to the bed. I waited a moment to see if she remained unaware before leaning over her the way I had on the roof. She felt the bed shift as I moved and her eyes fluttered for a moment before flying wide open in terror. Her small hands pushed against my chest again, but this time I would not let her up. "Please. Please, Sandvich. Let me go," she pleaded in a voice little more than a whisper.

"No, Kami," I said firmly.

Shock and fear struggled for dominance in her eyes. She stopped pushing against me, but her hands now gripped my shirt. The poor girl was absolutely terrified. "Please, Sandvich. You're scaring me," she was barely able to squeak out.

"Hush, little Kami. I will not hurt you. Relax now." I wrapped my hand around one of hers and pried it off my shirt. I had not realized just how strong fear made this tiny girl. "See? All is well," I said, holding her little hand gently in mine. She whimpered softly but did not try to fight me. I could not tell if it was because she trusted me or if her fear had paralyzed her. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before laying it down by her side. I did the same with her other hand, noticing how they both immediately gripped the sheets as soon as they touched the fabric. I sighed in frustration. Why could she not understand that I would not do anything to her?

"Kami!" I snapped, annoyed by her behavior, and immediately regretted it as she let out a cry of fear and turned her head away, her eyes shut tightly. "Kami," I repeated softly, placing my hand on her cheek in an effort to soothe the poor girl. "I am sorry for yelling. Please forgive my stupidity."

"Don't say that. You're not stupid," she suddenly said, sounding almost as irritated as I had only a few seconds ago. I found it very cute that little Kami was trying to reprimand me, especially considering the position she was in as she was trying to do so. Yet even as she said it, she was still shaking in fear and would not look up at me.

"Very well," I said, trying not to laugh, but I quickly went back to being serious. "But please, Kami. There is nothing to fear. How can I help you to understand this?"

The girl glanced up at me for a second before placing her hand on mine. "I don't know," she answered quietly, closing her eyes again. As bad as I felt for her, I had to fight the urge to tell her to look at me. I did not want her to pretend I was not there; I wanted her to her to see me, the man who would love her and take care of her. But I kept quiet, deciding to give her a minute to calm down before making her open her eyes.

After a moment, I gently began rubbing her cheek with my thumb, remembering how it always comforted her in the past. Her breathing slowed little by little. This was good. She was finally relaxing. A part of me did not want to say anything in case I startled her back into being afraid, but I still wanted her to look at me. I stayed silent, continuing to just watch her. She almost looked like she was falling asleep. That at least meant she felt safe. "Kami?" I finally asked quietly. If she was asleep, I did not want to wake her. After what happened on the roof, she needed her rest.

But Kami frowned slightly, clearly still awake. She peeked through one eye at me, before quickly closing it. She took several deep breaths before opening both eyes, looking straight up at me. A little shiver went through her, but she did not look away. "Very, very good girl," I praised, and she smiled shyly up at me. After a moment, she took her hand from mine and very hesitantly placed it on my cheek. My heart swelled with pride and love for the little girl. I wanted to kiss her, and this time I decided to act on my desires.

I leaned down closer to her only to have her hands fly back to my chest, keeping me away. She shook her head, eyes big and nervous again. It would be very easy to force myself on her; I was much stronger than she was. But then neither of us would enjoy the kiss. She would be afraid, and I would be unhappy knowing that I was the one who scared her. Besides, she had come far. I should not push her too much tonight.

I backed off, allowing her to get up. She sat awkwardly beside me and seemed to be unable to decide if she wanted to look at me or not. Though she did not say it, I knew what she wanted. I gently pulled her into a hug, letting her cuddle into me. I still wanted to kiss her. The last one, while it had been wonderful, had been much too short for my liking. She had been shaking so badly that she had been unable to keep herself standing and had sagged into my arms, accidentally breaking the kiss. Maybe it would be easier for the little girl while we were sitting.

"Kami?" She looked up at me, a small smile on her lips. "Kiss me," I said, though I remained just out of her reach. Last time I had given her the choice. Now it was my turn. She understood this after a moment and stayed put, keeping her head tilted back for me. She was nervous, trembling slightly, but she was not going to stop me. I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead first, trying to soothe and reassure her. It worked as she stopped shaking. I looked back into those pretty eyes, so full of love and trust. I ran my fingers through her hair before giving her the most tender and loving kiss I could.

I wished I knew what she felt during it. Like the others, she began shaking again and gripped my shirt desperately, though she still leaned into the kiss. It seemed as though it made her terrified and overjoyed at the same time. The kiss felt wonderful to me. I held her even closer, suddenly feeling the need to protect the only person I had ever truly cared about from whatever danger dared to threaten her. What was it about these that made her weak while they made me feel stronger? Not that really I minded this. I liked taking care of her.

I held that kiss for as long as I could. At last I reluctantly released her from it. Kami went limp and leaned against me, still shaking. I knew that she was fine because this was how she had reacted to our last kiss, but I could not help becoming concerned for her. I did not want to have accidently harmed her somehow. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"I'm fine," she murmured.

"Then why are you still shaking?"

"Do you know what you do to me when you kiss me?" she asked, pulling herself away so she could see me. "I feel like I'm going to be swept away by my emotions. It's scary, because I feel like I'm about to be ripped away from you. But at the same time, it feels good. It feels…" She bowed her head. "It feels right." She looked back up at me, her eyes meeting mine. "I'm happy I met you."

I smiled down at her. "I am very happy as well." I hugged the tiny girl, and felt her try to return it. Not an easy thing for her to do; her arms barely able to make it around my sides. But I did not mind that she could not fully return the hug. The effort and the obvious love behind the gesture were enough for me.

I felt her hold back a yawn, and a small spark of hope lit in me. Perhaps she would fall asleep in my arms. Then she would spend the night curled up next to me instead of all alone in that little cot. Then again, we always did end up spending the nights together in the same bed. After she fell asleep, she would suddenly become restless and would try to get closer to me. I would have to lift her up and into my bed and she would settle happily against my side. Surely she was much more comfortable and happy with me since she kept moving to get closer to me. It would be so much nicer if she just stayed with me.

But I was not so lucky. Kami pulled herself out of my grasp and moved to that stupid little bed. I did my best not to let my disappointment show and pulled the covers up around her the way I always did. She smiled softly at me, watching me through half-closed eyes as I lay down myself. I returned the smile and after a moment I reached out and took her tiny hand in mine. "Good night, my little Kami," I said, gently squeezing her hand.

"Good night, Sandvich," came the murmured reply. I stayed awake and watched her drift off, knowing what would happen soon enough.

I did not have long to wait. She moaned softly and curled up in an unhappy little ball. Seconds later she uncurled and shifted herself closer to me. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arms around her little body, being careful not to wake her, and lifted her into my bed. She groaned softly as I set her down but did not stir. As soon as she was at my side, Kami sighed and relaxed completely, falling into a deep sleep. I smiled and had to hold back a chuckle. She was so cute.

"You are silly girl," I said quietly. "You refuse to sleep beside me only to end up here anyway. But I love you still, for you are good girl as well." As I gazed down at her sleeping form, I could not stop myself from touching her. I started at her head, brushing back a few strands of hair. I admired her face before I slid my hand down to her cheek, then her shoulder, and finally down her side, doing my best to avoid accidentally touching her inappropriately. My hand stopped to rest on her hip. As much as I wanted to, I would not touch her any lower than that, not until she was comfortable with it and certainly not in such a sneaky way such as this, just waiting for her to fall sleep first. Still, I could not help but enjoy each curve. I had felt the same way when I held her from behind in the bathroom. I would not have done anything to her; I had just wanted to see what it felt like to hold her that way. And I liked the feeling of that little body pressed against mine, holding her safe and warm in my arms. But it would have felt better if she had not been so upset and afraid.

"You are beautiful, Kami," I murmured. "Beautiful in both heart and body. How can you love man such as me?" As though she could hear me, Kami shifted closer to me and made a small happy-sounding noise, placing a hand on my chest over my heart. "Is this my answer?" I asked with a chuckle. I took my hand off her hip and made sure the blankets were properly pulled up around her before wrapping my arm around her as I always did. I still felt the need to talk to the unconscious girl. I felt better talking to her this way because it did not matter if I used English or Russian, allowing me to express myself more freely.

"I now realize something, Kami. You have changed me. You have made me love another person. Did you know I hate people? I hurt them to keep them away, same as I almost did to you. They all fought me, but I always won because I am big and strong. You fought me too. You looked too small and too weak and too afraid to fight back, but you did. I was not expecting you to do that. It surprised me, and so you won. I have never lost before. It hurt to lose to tiny little girl like you. It was very embarrassing. I expected you to kill me. I would not have blamed you if you did. But you let me live, and you gave me sandvich. It made me feel much better. How did you know I liked them so much? Then you became my friend. I do not have many friends. And now you love me. I am very happy about that.

"But Kami, I have loved you from very first day. Not when I attacked you; you were only intruder to be dealt with then. I loved you when you chose to stay with me. I still wonder if you did that for yourself or for me. Whatever reason, I am happy you did. I know you think you owe me something, but you do not." I sighed, gazing into her lovely face and reminded myself to wake up before she did. The last time she had woken up to find herself sleeping beside me had scared her badly. She was still not used to the idea of sleeping in the same bed with me. I found she felt better if she woke simply being cradled in my arms. I pulled her closer to me, keeping her safe and warm. "Have only good dreams tonight, and if you have bad ones, I am here. I will chase them all away. Sleep well, my little Kami."

When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of my little girl.

… … … … … … …

_We stood together in a field. Kami was in my arms, completely happy and unafraid, allowing me to hold her close. She smiled lovingly up at me. "You are beautiful person, Kami," I murmured, stroking her cheek. _

"_So are you," she replied. _

_I thought of the many people I had brutally attacked, hurt, and killed. "No, I am not. I am ugly," I told her sadly. _

"_You're wrong. You are beautiful, at least in here," she said as she placed her hand over my heart. "You're a wonderful person. I wouldn't want you any other way."_

"_My sweet little Kami," I murmured, running my fingers through that lovely red hair. Without asking for her permission, I gently kissed her, and she accepted it without even the slightest shiver. I pulled back, smiling as I looked into her eyes. "I love you."_

_She reached up and placed a hand on my cheek without any hesitation. "I love you, too," she whispered before cuddling closer to me and resting her head against my chest. I sighed happily, though my heart ached with longing. This was how I wanted her to be with me. No fear, no uncertainty, just pure love and trust. Why could it not always be like this?_

_Kami suddenly grinned playfully and pulled herself from my grasp. She turned and began running, glancing over her shoulder at me, still smiling._

_I caught on and chased after her. I knew I could easily catch up with her, but I let her keep the illusion that she could out run me. It would be much more fun to surprise her._

_I was so intent on her, that I did not notice our surroundings changing at first. The field melted away and tall buildings sprung up around us. She scurried around a corner and I followed only to come to an abrupt halt. _

_She was much further away from me than she should have been. She stood trembling in fear. I ran towards her, ready to protect her from whatever was scaring her. She heard me and whirled to face me. Her eyes widened and she stumbled backwards several steps. I stopped, confused. She was scared of me? But why? Had she not been safe and happy in my arms just seconds ago? "Kami, do not be afraid," I called, slowly walking towards her. She seemed to shrink the closer I got. "Kami, what is the matter? Is just me. You are safe now." There was no flicker of recognition in her eyes, just fear. What was wrong with her? _

"_P-please, stay a-away," she stammered, shaking harder the closer I got. She looked like she wanted to run, but was unable to do so. _

_I stopped in front of her, gazing down the poor girl. "Why are you so afraid, my dear little Kami?" I asked gently, trying not to scare her further._

_Instead she only became more afraid. "How do you know my name? Just who are you?" _

_I stared at her. "But Kami…Is me, Dick Sandvich." She slowly shook her head. I could not believe it. She did not know who I was. I reached out to pull her into my arms, hoping a hug would help her to remember. Instead, she let out a terrified squeal and fled. I could only stand there and watch as my dear little Kami vanished from my sight._

… … … … … … …

I woke with a start. I rarely had dreams, and none of them were as disturbing as that. What was it trying to say? That Kami was still afraid of me? That she did not love me? That everything we shared was a lie?

I looked down to see Kami still lying by my side, still peacefully asleep. I knew I should let her rest, but I could not stop myself. I shook her shoulder. "Kami? Kami, wake up," I said urgently.

"Huh? Wh-What's going on?" she asked groggily. "Sandvich, what is it?"

I helped her into a sitting position before taking her little face in my hand and forcing her to look at me. There was no fear in her eyes; just confusion and sleepiness. "Kami, do you love me?"

She blinked. "What? Of course I love you. Sandvich, why are you asking that?"

I did not answer her. I was so relieved that the dream was not true that I did something I should never have done. Desperately, I pulled her close and slammed my lips onto hers, needing to feel those wonderful emotions that came with every kiss.

Kami squealed in pain and jerked away from me. "Ow! Sandvich, that hurt! What has gotten into you?" she said angrily, but there was fear in her eyes as well.

Oh no. What have I done? I stuttered, trying to find a reasonable explanation, but I could not think of what to say. I did not realize how rough I had been. I had not meant to be, but I had needed her so much. Now I had hurt my poor Kami and both angered and frightened her. I had forced myself on her, the very thing I had promised to never do to her. I was no better than the man who had tried to harm her. I looked away in shame. What Kami had told me in my dream was wrong; I was not beautiful at all. I was an ugly monster!

Suddenly, there was a soft hand on my cheek, and the little girl turned me back to face her. The fear and anger in her expression had been replaced by concern. "Sandvich, what's wrong? Why did you do that? Please, Sandvich. I can't help you if you won't tell me," she pleaded softly.

"I had bad dream," I said. I felt stupid saying it.

"What happened in it?" she asked, never taking her eyes from mine.

"You…you did not know who I was and you ran away from me. You were afraid of me." I tried to look away again, but her hand stopped me. For all my strength and my size, I could not fight her.

She sighed softly and shook her head. "I'll be honest with you. There are times that you do scare me. You're a lot bigger and stronger than me, and you seem to forget that sometimes, especially when you're angry or upset. But you never scare me enough to make me want to run away. And I don't think I could ever forget who you are. Sandvich, I love you." She leaned forward and hugged me as tightly as she could. I sat frozen, not sure of what I should do. Kami sighed again. "I wish I was bigger. Then I could comfort you the way you comfort me."

"No, Kami," I told her softly, finally finding the strength to hug her very, very carefully. I did not want to hurt her again. "I like you way you are."

Her eyes looked back up into mine. "Okay," she said with a soft smile. "You know, you can hug me tighter. I'm not made of glass," she teased quietly.

I smiled and did as she asked. I was surprised to find that the tighter I held her, the happier and more relaxed she became. I still did not hug her too tightly, not wanting to ruin everything again. "Kami, I am very sorry for hurting you."

"It's okay. It scared me more than hurt me. But I'm okay now. You aren't in trouble."

I stroked her hair, amazed at how quickly she had forgiven me. "Kami, why do you love me?" I asked after a moment.

She seemed to give this some serious thought before raising her gaze to mine. "I don't know why. I just know that I do. You're…wonderful. I feel safe with you, which is a big deal. I never feel safe. I know that you wouldn't hurt me intentionally, or use me or treat me like a plaything or a possession in any way. But what matters more than anything else is that I know you love me."

"I do very much. But Kami, am I good man?"

"Yes, you are," she said. She paused for a moment before asking in a shaking voice, "Do…do you want to try again?"

I stared at her, surprised she was willing to make such an offer. "Are you sure?" I asked. Kami nodded. I hesitated a moment longer, giving her the chance to change her mind if she wanted to. She stayed still, watching me with trusting eyes. Finally I leaned forward and kissed her as gently as I could. I felt a small shiver go through her and quickly pulled back, hoping I had not hurt or scared her again.

Kami just leaned against me with her eyes closed. "That was much better," she murmured.

"Kami, are you okay?" I asked, concerned by how weak she felt.

"Mmhmm, just tired," she answered softly.

I frowned. I did not feel tired at all, but I guess I did wake her up very rudely. My frown quickly changed to a smile. Kami was at least with me. I held her safe and warm against me and began rubbing her back. "Then sleep, little Kami," I told her gently. I heard her mumble a quiet "okay" before se fell asleep in my arms, a faint smile still on her lips. How I loved this little girl. I thought about what she had said. It was all true, but there was one thing that was not quite right. While I would never treat Kami like a toy, she belonged to me. Not just _with_ me, but _to_ me. I would keep her safe with me forever, and god help the man who dares touch her. Kami was mine, plain and simple.

I sighed sadly. No, Kami was not completely mine yet. She was still fighting with everything she had been through. Everything that she thought, felt, and did were still being affected by it. My Kami had been broken, and it was up to me to put her back together. Once I fixed her, then she would be mine. "I will teach you not to be afraid of me, and I will protect you from everything else. I will make sure you are happy for the rest of your life, which you deserve. Rest well, little Kami. I will be here when you wake up," I whispered, gently kissing the top of her head. While she slept, I remained awake for as long as I could, enjoying the feeling of having the girl cuddled up against me, but I eventually found that I was tired as well and had to move her to the bed. As I lay back down beside her, I still tried to stay awake. I wanted to watch her for just a little bit longer. But I quickly dozed off into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

… … … … … … …

When I woke up, Kami was gone. Oh no. She must have become afraid because she woke up in my arms and fled. But somehow that did not seem right. Certainly I had would have noticed that. But then where was she? I tried to keep from becoming too worried. Perhaps she was just getting dressed. I went down to the bathroom first. "Kami?" I called softly, not wanting to startle her. No answer. I peeked in to find that she was not there. Maybe she was in her old room, but when I investigated, she was not there either. Panic set in. I charged through 2fort searching every room for her, but she was nowhere to be found. What if someone had snuck in and kidnapped her, or hurt or killed her? I would never forgive myself if I let her get taken from me when I was right there with her.

I saw a shadow move across the doorway of the kitchen. I growled to myself and crept to it. I wanted to take the intruder by surprise. I was already planning the best way to punish whoever it was when I looked in to see only one person…

…Kami.

Still in her nightshirt, her back was to the door and she seemed to be oblivious to the fact that I was there. She was softly humming to herself while working on something at the table. I was relieved to see she was safe, but then the anger returned. I was furious that she had vanished and scared me again. "Kami!" I yelled. The girl jumped and whirled around, looking very guilty and frightened. I knew I should calm down, but I was too angry. She should have learned her lesson from the last time she left me. She was supposed to stay with me, not wander off when she wanted to. As I stormed towards her, she backed away fearfully. I grabbed her arms to keep her still.

"Sandvich, you're hurting me," she whimpered, but I barely heard her.

"Why do you do this to me? Why do you keep leaving me? Do you not understand that it scares me? What are you even doing here? You should still be sleeping!" I roared, resisting the urge to shake her. She was too scared to answer me, but her eyes flicked to the table. I turned to see what she was looking at and froze. On the table were two sandviches. "Kami?" I asked softly, slowly looking back down at the girl and loosening my grip on her. I think I made a big mistake.

"Last night you had been so worked up, and I felt bad for you and even worse that I couldn't help you. So I thought that maybe a sandwich would help. When I woke up, you were still asleep, so I thought this would be a nice surprise. I wasn't trying to run off. I didn't mean to scare you again. I'm sorry," she answered quickly, her voice shaky, her eyes still full of fear.

I could not speak. I had just yelled at her for being her usual kind and thoughtful self. I released my hold on her arms, noticing the handprints that remained. I backed away, shaking my head in horror. How could I have done this to her? I hated myself. I expected her to run. I would not have been angry if she did. I would almost have been happy if she fled. It would be the best punishment for my actions if she was terrified of me, maybe even hated me. But she stayed still, though she was trembling slightly and would not look at me. I turned away, feeling awful. If she would not leave, then I would.

I had barely reached the door when I felt her small hands grasp my arm. I stopped and looked down at her in surprise. "Please, don't go," she said softly. I could not believe what I had just heard. She still wanted me even though I had just hurt her? I stared at her in amazement. She pulled on my hand gently, trying to lead me to the table. "I made them just the way you like them. It would be a shame to let them go to waste."

I knew what she was doing. She was trying to bribe me. I did not like it because it made me feel like she thought I was stupid, but I was hungry, and it was very hard to resist her offer, especially since I had just hurt her. I at least owed it to her to sit down and eat.

I allowed her to lead me back to the table and sat down. Kami again amazed me by sitting next to me. I would have thought she would want to stay away from me, that she would be afraid that I might lash out at her again. Then again, she still looked nervous, and she would not look at me for very long. Maybe she was afraid but was doing her best to hide it from me. I sighed and stared at my sandvich. It certainly did look good. I took a bite. It was delicious. I did not know what she did different, but they always tasted better when she made them. I wolfed mine down before turning my attention to Kami again. She had hardly touched hers. My heart sank like a stone. She was unhappy, and it was because of me.

"Thank you very much, Kami. That was delicious," I said, trying to cheer her up.

She glanced up and gave me a quick smile. "You're welcome," she said before looking back down again.

I frowned. I needed to find a way to make her happy again. I studied her, trying to read her so I could work out how to help her. All I succeeded in doing was making myself feel even worse. She looked like an abuse victim; the burn scar on her shoulder, her lips still bruised from what I had done to her last night, and now her arms would surely form bruises of their own. She _was_ a victim, one of my own anger, fear, and foolishness. I reached out and placed my hand on her arm over the spot where I had grabbed her. Kami immediately tensed and turned to look at me. "Easy, Kami. I will not hurt you again. I did not mean to before," I said, gently rubbing her arm.

"I know you didn't," she said as she relaxed.

"Is there way to make better?"

"Not really." She looked away again, staring absently at her half-eaten sandvich. "It doesn't hurt too much. I'm fine, really."

My hand dropped away from her arm. This was not good enough for me. I wanted to find some way of comforting her, but I did not know what to do. I was supposed to be helping her, not hurting her. "Kami," I sighed sadly, and she looked back up at me. I reached out for her, needing to hold her. Kami stood up and I fully expected her to run from me. But instead, she came to me and let me pull her into my lap. I held onto her tightly. I did not want her to suddenly change her mind and pull away from me. After a moment, Kami rested her head on my shoulder and I felt one small hand loosely grip my shirt. I was amazed. I had caused her so much pain, but she still trusted me. How could she do that? It did not make sense to me. I would never deliberately hurt her, but I seemed to do so repeatedly anyways. I had promised to protect her from danger, but now I understood that I was the real threat to her.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I leaned against Sandvich with my eyes closed. He really hadn't hurt me too badly when he grabbed me; he had just scared the heck out of me. Even when he had forced me to kiss him after waking me up, it had scared me more than hurt me. I knew it hadn't been his intent, so I was ready to forgive him. But I still felt bad that he had a nightmare and that I had yelled at him. So when I woke up to find him still asleep, and despite being a little unnerved to find myself in his bed, I thought it would be a nice surprise to get him a sandwich, sort of a breakfast-in-bed kind of deal. I had been so proud of myself for coming up with this idea that I didn't even think about what would happen if he woke up to find me missing. And then he found me and lost control.

He hadn't hurt me too badly physically. My arms were just a little sore. But emotionally, I was in agony. I felt that I had been treated unfairly. I was only trying to be nice. Childishly, I pouted, but I was also a little afraid of him. He had suddenly become very unpredictable, and I was nervous he might lose control again. But I still loved him. I didn't want to be away from him, and I had a feeling he was dealing with a similar problem. He wanted to be near me, but he was afraid of hurting me again too. He wasn't sure what to do, so I made the decision for him by making sure I stayed with him.

"I am sorry, Kami," he mumbled, but something sounded wrong with his voice. I looked up and blinked in surprise. Sandvich was…crying? Since when did he do that? I reached up and touched his cheek lightly, and felt tears. I couldn't believe it. He really was crying. He didn't seem to notice what I had done. "I never meant to hurt you. I promised to keep you safe, but I cannot. I am bigger danger to you than anything else. I…I…I will help you find your real home…Would be better for you to go back. You will be safer there."

I stared at him in disbelief. Me? Go back to the city? "No!" I almost yelled. "I don't ever want to go back!"

"But Kami, is where you belong."

"No, it's not! I don't belong there; I belong here! I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you. Please don't make me leave." I was practically begging him now. I was scared. I had always thought of myself as an independent person, but I didn't think I could live without Sandvich anymore.

"Kami, I will not let you stay where are threatened, and I am threat to you. I did not know before, but I know now. I am stupid to have kept you here."

My anger flared momentarily as he called himself stupid again. He wasn't stupid! Simple, yes, but not stupid. But the fear of being forced to leave him took over immediately. I had to find some way of convincing him I couldn't leave. "But…But you love me. And I love you. Neither of us would be happy if I left."

He smiled at me sadly. "Da, I do love you, and I would miss you very much. But pretty girl like you will be able to find another, nicer man. One that would not harm you the way I do. One that will not scare you…One that will be much better for you and to you than I am. He will treat you better than I do. You deserve that. You will be much happier with him than with me."

That was the last straw. I snapped. I ripped myself out of his arms, turned to face him, and slapped him. "Would you stop it? You are not stupid, and you are not cruel to me! You are wonderful! You treat me better than anyone I've ever met! Why do you insist on insulting yourself? And speaking of insults, how dare you insult _me_! Do you really think I'd just replace you like that? That I would just forget all about you, that I would forget about _us_, and go off with someone else? _Hell no!_ I love you! Do you get it? _I. Love. You! _I don't want anyone else; I only want _you_! You have made my life infinitely better. For the first time in a very long time, I'm happy!" I started sobbing. "I'm happy…I really am…and it's because I'm with you… Don't make me go…I really am happy here…I don't want to go…please, Sandvich…"

Sandvich had watched me through my tirade with a sort of blank expression. Now he slowly stood up, towering over me. I felt fear rise up in me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or something else, but he was scaring me. I backed away and he followed me, matching my speed. I bumped into the wall and realized I was cornered. I had hit him. What was he going to do to me? I slid to the floor. Probably not the best move, but I was so terrified that my legs had simply crumpled beneath me. I was at his mercy now.

To my surprise, he sank to his knees as well. "Kami," he said softly, reaching out to me. He took me by the shoulders and gently pulled me into a hug. "Shh, little Kami. Do not yell, and do not cry."

I buried my face into his shirt and cried anyways. He let me, just cradling me in the warmth and safety of his arms. "I don't want to go," I mumbled through my tears. "Please, Sandvich. I don't want to leave you."

"Then you do not have to. Hush, Kami. There is nothing to cry about," he said, one hand starting to rub my back.

I sniffled and looked up at him. "Then why are you crying?" I asked.

He laughed and gave me a gentle squeeze. "Because you love me. Kami, did you mean what you said?"

I nodded. "Every word." I sat there for a moment before having another minor breakdown. "I'm sorry for getting scared again. I know it really bothers you. I'm trying to learn not to be afraid, I swear I am. And I'm sorry for yelling at you, and I'm _really _sorry for hitting you. I shouldn't have done that, but –"

He suddenly covered my mouth with his hand. "Stop. Do not blame yourself." He took his hand from my mouth and instead placed it on my cheek. "I deserved to be hit and yelled at." I opened my mouth only to have him cut me off. "No, do not argue with me. I was not listening to you the way I should have been. It was good that you…" he trailed off, searching for the right words.

"Smacked some sense into you?" I suggested and almost regretted it.

He just grinned at me. "Da. And do not worry; you did not hurt me. I do not think you could, little, little Kami." The grin faded into a more serious expression. "Are you sure I did not hurt you?" he asked, touching my arms.

"Yes. I'll be a little sore for a few days, but I'm fine."

"I must learn to control myself better, da?" he said guiltily.

"The same way I need to learn to trust you more and stop being so afraid. We'll work on it together, okay?"

"Thank you, Kami," he said.

"For what? I haven't done anything."

Irritation flickered in his eyes briefly. "Kami, have I not told you this before? You have done much for me as well."

"Like what?"

"Like making me sandvich," he said, gently poking me in the stomach, getting a giggle from me. "And being my friend. Not leaving me, and loving me so...so…"

"Unconditionally?" I offered.

He smiled and nodded, pulling me a bear hug, though I guess every hug from him could be considered that, before standing and helping me get to my feet. He led me back to the table and sat down, pulling me into his lap. He took my partially eaten sandwich and handed it to me. "Eat now," he ordered gently. "I do not want you to starve yourself."

I smiled at this but did as I was told. I was just amazed at how quickly his personality could change. From what I could figure out, he had four speeds; raging bear, needy child, gentle lover, and kind caregiver. Cleary at the moment he was in caregiver mode, and yet minutes ago he was crying like a child and telling me to go even though he was holding onto me like a favorite teddy bear, and before that he had been so furious and frightening. It was hard to keep up with him and his mood swings.

Sandvich was a confusing and unpredictable man, and yet I honestly could not picture myself with anyone else. I could just imagine what any of my friends would have thought of this. They would have thought I was insane and possibly suffering with the Stockholm syndrome. But for all his oddities and imperfections, I truly loved him. I didn't fear him, just his moods, and somehow I thought that I could learn to deal with them, especially with the way he was treating me now, so sweet and gentle. I could tell that he was going to try to keep himself in check, and I doubted that he would snap like this again. I don't think he wanted to make the same mistake again.

"Kami?" he asked softly, startling me out of my musings. I looked up only to have his lips meet mine. I squeaked and pulled away from the surprise kiss. Sandvich simply laughed and hugged me. "Forgive me, Kami. I could not resist." My cheeks grew warm. Looks like he shifted gears again. He grinned mischievously at me. "Can I try again?" he asked, and though his voice was teasing, his eyes held a tender look, letting me know I was safe.

"Hmm, I don't know," I teased back, finding myself wanting to play along with him. "Can I trust you to be nice?"

"Of course," he said, pulling me closer.

And for the first time, I accepted the kiss without even the slightest shiver.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My little Kami loved me. I had known that she did, but she had not been able to admit it. Now that she had, she had practically glued herself to my side. I did not mind it at all. She had placed herself in my hands, and I knew that it scared her. But she trusted me, and I would not do anything to betray that trust again. In the following days, I was very careful with her. I did not want to frighten her away now that she had placed her faith in me.

One night, I found her sitting on her bed in our room. She looked lost in thought as usual. "Kami?"

She started and looked up with a sheepish grin. "Oh, I was just thinking." I sat down on my bed and waited for her to continue. "Well, we, uh, we always end up together in the morning…in the same bed. And maybe…maybe we should just…" She trailed off. I knew what she was trying to say, but I did not try to finish the sentence for her. I did not want to accidently push her into anything until she was ready. But the longer it took for her to try to sort herself out, the more I wanted to help her. At last, I decided I had to do something. I took her hand and gave it a small encouraging squeeze. She sighed softly and glanced up at me. "I'd like to sleep with you from now on," she said quickly, and immediately ducked her head, trying to hide the fact that she was blushing.

I laughed and opened my arms, inviting her to join me. She practically dove into them, still trying to hide the blush. I chuckled as I cuddled the little girl and felt her snuggle deeper into me. I leaned back, pulling her down with me. She was blissfully unaware of this and the fact that she was now on top of me. I sighed happily, running my fingers through her hair. She was so sweet and loving, and she was mine. I would never let anything happen to her.

Just then, I felt her tense. I opened my eyes to find her staring at me with large scared eyes. She tried to push herself away from me, and, not wanting her to hurt herself, I let her go. She sat up so quickly I was afraid that she was going to fall out of bed. She was shaking like a leaf and looked as though she wanted to run away. "Kami, wait." I sat up as well, but as much as I wanted to, I did not dare touch her. I did not want to frighten her further. "Come back," I said softly. "Do not be scared. I will not hurt you. All is well."

After a moment, still trembling, she leaned into my arms again. "I'm sorry. I just…I wasn't expecting to find myself there. But it's okay. I'm okay," she said quietly. I looked down at her. She nodded slightly. Much to my relief, she still trusted me.

I leaned back again with her still in my arms. She rested her head against my chest, but she was still a little afraid. I gently started rubbing her back, and after a while I felt the tenseness slowly leave her. She shifted herself so that her head was on my shoulder. She was falling asleep, and I could feel myself drifting off as well.

"Sandvich?"

I smiled. "Da?"

"Those mornings that I woke up in your bed…how did I get there?" she asked sleepily.

I grinned and opened one eye to look at her. "The truth?" She nodded. "You moved."

I almost laughed at how quickly her head shot up. "Really?"

"Da. Of course, poor little Kami needed my help…" I teased, gently ruffling her hair, earning a little giggle from her. "But you came to me," I finished.

She rested her head back on my shoulder again. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too." I do not think she heard me. She was already asleep. I kissed her forehead and just watched her for a moment. Nothing else in this world mattered to me as much as this tiny girl did. I would always take care of her. "Sleep well."

I was almost asleep myself when the hair on the back of my neck rose. Something was very, very wrong. I looked at Kami. She was still sleeping peacefully on my shoulder. She was safe, but I was still on edge. I carefully moved her to the bed, pulling up the blankets around her. She moaned quietly, but did not wake up. After making sure she was properly tucked in, I left the room. I was certain everything was fine, but I wanted to just check for my own peace of mind. I did not see anyone in the hall, but when I was about to go back to Kami, I heard a low whistle. I whirled around, hunting for the source. It happened again. Someone was here. I had to protect Kami.

I followed to sound downstairs, but even after searching I did not find anyone. I was confused. I had thought for sure that someone was here. A terrifying thought struck me. What if someone was here and they had found Kami? I had to get to her! I charged back for the stairs when a sharp pain flashed through my leg. I stumbled, almost running into a wall. I reached down to find a syringe sticking out of my leg. I pulled it out and stared at it. My leg felt weird.

A low chuckle came from behind me. I turned to see a purple haired woman materialize out of nowhere. "That was easier than I had expected. So, _you _are her guardian? Not much of one, huh." I growled and lunged for her, but she just stepped aside. I slammed into the wall that had been behind her and crumpled to the ground. "Calm down, fat man. Just sit down and let the tranquilizer do its job," she said in annoyance.

'Tranquilizer?' My eyes widened. The syringe. "Why are you doing this?" I demanded.

The woman looked down, examining her nails. "If it makes you feel better, it isn't you that my boss is after. It's…well, you should know who." She looked very pointedly at the stairs.

My heart nearly stopped. "KAMI!" I struggled to stand, but my leg refused to obey. I could feel the effect spreading, but I did not care. I had to protect my Kami! I staggered up the stairs and had to drag myself down the hall to get to our room. She was still in bed, still asleep. How could she still be sleeping? "Kami, wake up! You must run!" She did not move. "Kami? Kami!" I shook her shoulder. She did not react at all. I looked around the room, hoping to find some way to get the unconscious girl to safety. Instead, I found Vagineer standing in the corner of the room. My anger flared again, but I could not do anything. I was too weak. "What did you do to her?" I bellowed.

"Relax. She's perfectly fine," I heard the voice of the woman answer. "She's under the effects of chloroform. She's safe and sound in dreamland." She stepped forward and tried to touch my Kami's head. I growled and lowered myself over the girl. I did not care that I was too weak to fight; Kami was mine and I would defend her to my last breath. "Oh, fat man, please! This is just embarrassing!" She made a disgusted sound. "I'm sick of seeing this. Get him out of here," she ordered Vagineer. He grabbed my arms. I fought against him but was unable to get away. "Say good-bye to your precious Kami," the woman hissed into my ear.

As I struggled, I caught sight of the scar on my little Kami's arm. Whatever strength I had left vanished. I had failed her again. I had promised to protect her, and I had failed her once again. I stopped fighting the hands and the effects of the tranquilizer. It did not matter anymore. I had lost. "Kami…I am so sorry…Kami…"

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I stretched as I woke up. I looked out the window. Well, this wasn't right. It looked like it was almost noon. Why didn't Sandvich wake me up sooner? And speaking of him, where was he? I looked around, feeling lost without him next to me. Why did he leave me? _No_, I scolded myself. _Don't start thinking like that. Go find him._

Just as I was about to leave our room, I found a note tacked to the doorframe. My blood turned to ice in my veins as I read it:

_ If you ever want to see your morbidly obese friend _

_ again, you will come to the old manor. Better hurry._

_ That is, unless you are too scared, my dear friend. _

_ Spyane_

That _BITCH_! When I found her, I was going to murder her, and I was going to enjoy every second of it! But…didn't Weaselcake kill her? That thought flicked into my mind and vanished almost immediately. I was too angry to care about that. How dare she kidnap my friend and then insult him! "Oh, I'm not scared at all," I snarled out loud. "I'm just really pissed off, _my dear friend_." Granted, I had no idea where this manor was, but luckily she had left me a nice little map pointing me in the right direction. It occurred to me that this was probably a set up and I was about to get in way over my head, but I just couldn't leave my friend in the hands of that bitch. He had done so much for me…I had to help him! I almost grabbed my kukri but stopped. I wanted to test something. I closed my eyes and concentrated. After a moment, I felt the weight in my hand. Looking down, I couldn't believe my eyes. I had consciously summoned the longsword. It sat naturally in my hand as though I had been born with it there. Curious as to what would happen, I imagined it vanishing, and _it did_. I didn't understand how this was happening, but I wasn't going to question it. As much as I loved my kukri, this was definitely an improvement. With this new weapon in hand, I left 2fort. I was going to save Dick Sandvich.

As I trekked out to this manor, I practiced summoning the sword and sending it away. Each time it got easier and easier. By the time I reached the point where I could practically call it in less than a heartbeat, I stood on the edge of an abandoned town. This I could've cared less about. What I did care about was the hill at the end of the road. At the top of it was a manor, the one I was positive that my friend was in. I mean, come on. How many abandoned manors could be out in the desert? "Hang on, Sandvich. I'm coming."

I crept into the manor as quietly as I could. As much as I wanted to cause Spyane some serious pain, I wanted to find Sandvich first. What if he was in trouble? Besides, I was positive that he would want to be in on the ass-whooping.

This place was creepy. It certainly would've made an excellent haunted house. It was so quiet, so still. Probably spider infested too. A voice echoed down the abandoned halls, but I couldn't understand what it said. It didn't sound right. Right after it, I heard a door slam shut. I was really freaked out now, but I pushed my fear aside. I couldn't afford to be scared now, not with Sandvich in danger.

With it being my only clue, I headed in the direction where I had heard the door shut. Looking down the hall, I paused. I had the distinct feeling I was being watched. I froze in the doorway, trying to decide if I should hide or prepare to fight.

"KAMI!"

"Sandvich?" I cried, whirling around. A knife buried itself in my stomach. I gasped in pain and staggered backwards. I pulled the knife out of me, amazed I wasn't dead. My vision went red as I looked at the knife that had stabbed me. _It was a butterfly knife._ "Spyane," I hissed, looking up.

The bitch stood at the other end of the hall, smirking at me. "Did you forget about me?" she asked.

"I could never forget about you," I growled in reply. She laughed at me and vanished into thin air. "You are trying my patience!" I yelled, summoning my longsword. Despite my bleeding midsection, I ran down the hall. She had to still be there. I wasn't about to lose her now.

But where I reached the corner, I heard that insane voice again. The door at the far end opened, and…something came out of it. I stared in disbelief. What the hell was that thing? My mind whirled over the dangerous people Sandvich had warned me about. Was this…Vagineer? Oh. My. God. I don't know what I had imagined, but this thing was certainly not it. He raised his arm, and before I could move, his hand shot off like a grappling hook. "Oh, shit," I muttered as he grabbed my shirt. I was yanked forward with such force that I dropped my longsword. I slammed into the wall at the far end of the hall and slid to the ground, the air knocked out of me. I struggled to sit up.

Vagineer stood over me. He said something more to me. God, that voice just grated on my ears! What the hell was he saying? Was he talking backwards or something?

I heard something behind me, but before I could look I felt hands on either side of my head. "Thank you for being such a dear friend. I'm sure the fat man will love hearing that you came for him," Spyane whispered into my ear. Then there was a sharp pain in my neck accompanied by a crunching sound. And then…nothing.

… … … … … … …

A bright light shown down onto me. It made my head hurt even more. Was I dead? I sat up slowly, cradling my throbbing head in my hands. No, I couldn't be dead. They say you don't feel pain after you die. Then again, I'd love to know just who this "they" was and why "they" said so much and were so often wrong. I raised my head and looked around. The room was huge and empty. At the far end stood the two people I was hoping to never see again. Spyane and Vagineer stood side by side, holding something between them. My eyes widened in horror. It was Dick Sandvich's hat. The pair of them laughed at me (or at least I assumed the Vagineer was laughing at me). I felt the anger rise up in me again. "Where is Dick Sandvich? What have you done with him?" I screamed at them, staggering to my feet.

The pair exchanged glances. "Proceed," Spyane told Vagineer, who took out a remote control and pressed the button. A light turned on, illuminating another corner of the room. There sat Sandvich, shirt stained with blood, being guarded by Chibi MiKOS. Wasn't she supposed to be dead as well? What was the deal with dead people coming back to life?

"Gotcha!" laughed the white haired girl.

"Kami!" he shouted. "Help!" Then he seemed to change his mind. "No, Kami, run!" He needed my help, I knew that much just by looking at him, but he also didn't want to put me in any more danger.

"Your business is appreciated," Chibi MiKOS said, calm as ever.

"Get away from him!" I screamed, preparing to charge, when a pair of arms wrapped around me.

"G'day," said a far too cheerful Australian voice. "I'm Jarate Cake Dick. I'm gonna fuck you."

I struggled against the arms and tried summoning my longsword, but it just wouldn't come to me. I don't know if I was too scared to concentrate on it or if it was something else. The man laughed at me, clearly enjoying my terror. As a last resort, I bit his hand. He screamed and loosened his grip. I pulled away from him, but I wasn't fast enough. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. "Very bad idea, girl," he snarled before slapping me so hard I was sent sprawling across the floor. Before I could even attempt to get up, he had pinned me down with his body. "I'm gonna enjoy this," he sneered, looming over me. I tried to fight back, but I wasn't strong enough. I clenched my eyes shut and waited for the inevitable.

"All of you are _DEAD_!" I heard Sandvich roar. My eyes shot open. Nanoseconds later I heard the scream of Chibi MiKOS, and a white blur sailed over me, taking Jarate Cake Dick with it.

And then Sandvich was there, gently lifting me into a sitting position. He placed a hand on my cheek, gently rubbing the spot where I had been slapped. "Kami, are you okay?"

"I am now," I said, resting my head in that great hand. "And you?"

He nodded. "Kiss me," he said tenderly. I smiled and leaned forward.

A shot rang out, and the world seemed to enter slow motion. I watched helplessly as the bullet entered his head, saw his eyes roll back, and watched him hit the ground and roll a few feet away from me. I sat frozen in horror, feeling little drops of blood – _his_ blood – roll down my cheeks. I sat frozen in time, staring at the spot where his face had been.

"You disgust me, fat man," Spyane said, snapping me out of my shocked state.

I crawled to his side and rolled the body of my friend onto his back. "No…no…You can't be dead…Please don't be dead," I begged Sandvich. He didn't move. No comforting hand came up to wipe away my tears. No warm laughter came from him. He did _nothing_. I leaned forward, laying on his chest, and began to cry.

"Well, now that that is done, your services are no longer required," I heard Spyane say. I looked over my shoulder to see her take out Vagineer. She caught the remote as it fell from his hands. She looked pointedly at me. "This will be the last time that you see me," she said. "A shame, too. You were at least a fighter." She was about to push the button when she froze. "Oh, no." She turned around to look at the still form of the Vagineer. Seconds later and hand exploded out of his chest. The pair of us watched in terror as a man pulled himself out of Vagineer's body.

"What's up, mate?" he said almost as cheerfully as Jarate Cake Dick had greeted me. He strode confidently up to Spyane. "Now this –" he pulled my longsword out of thin air "– is a knife." And then he jammed it into Spyane's head. "Aw, did I get blood on your suit?" he jeered, letting her drop to the floor. "You did good, but you forgot that she's mine." His eyes raised from her body to meet mine. A shiver went down my spine. There was a sadistic glimmer in those eyes that just wasn't natural. "Don't look so spooked. You won't die today. Besides, you should be proud. You've shown great potential. As my mate here said, you're a fighter. It will be a pleasure to hunt you."

"H-hunt?" I whispered.

"This is just getting started," he told me darkly. With that, he threw my longsword to me and left me alone, surrounded by corpses.

I rested my head against Sandvich's chest. I wanted him to take a breath, to hear that great heart beating again, for his arms to close around me, and to hear him tell me that everything was going to be alright. But he wasn't going to do any of those things. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do about that. I was alone in a very unfriendly world, now the main target of a very dangerous and obviously insane man. I had to be strong. I had to be, if not for myself, than for Sandvich. He had died to protect me. I couldn't let his sacrifice go to waste. I kissed his cheek. "I will not give up," I told him shakily. "I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. Thank you so much, my dearest friend…my love. Rest in peace, Sandvich."

I stood up with sword in hand. That man had taken the only good thing in my world from me, and I didn't care how scared I was. I wanted revenge, and if I was going to get it, I was going to have to grow a spine and fast. There was no one left to take care of me. I had to do it myself.

"I'm going to survive. I'm going to live. And I'm going to _kill_ that bastard."

**Okay, so Kami seems to have taken a bit of a 180, going from weak and frightened to fierce and angry, which I know seems a little Mary Sue-ish. But it's not quite that drastic of a change as you'll see in the next chapter. I just wanted to keep this one from getting too long, and the next chapter (which I still need to finish editing) is already twelve pages in length and will probably get longer knowing me. **

**And, yeah, I know I did a crap job with Vagineer, but seriously, how **_**do**_** you write for something like that? Besides, he gives me the creeps…I don't even like thinking about him for too long, much less write about him…**


	6. Chapter 5: The Nightmare Begins

**Yay, got this one up quick! Don't expect that to last for long, though…I only have one more chapter that's already finished and then I'll be back to writing on the fly. But this is where I actually start to have some fun with the characters that have only been touched upon thus far. Poetic license is good! At the same time, I still find that it's really hard to write for some of these guys…**

**This chapter is based on the tail end of "Kami Meets Vagineer" Part 2, and then it moves into (prepare yourselves for a really long list) "Kami Meets Rabic and Pystrich," "Kami Meets Painis Cupcake," "Dick Sandvich VS. Spyane," and "Kami's Descent."**

**Disclaimer: Same things as usual, still don't anything other than some of the characters, and even that ownership is shared. Rabic is Lemurfot's, Pystrich is Peusterokos1's, and Heavydile is TRexHunter2000's. **

Chapter 5: The Nightmare Begins

As furious as I was, I found it impossible to leave the town behind. I had been tied to it by my grief. As stupid as it sounds, I felt that if I left, I would be abandoning my dear friend. I couldn't, _wouldn't_, do that to him. It was almost insane really. How much loyalty could I possibly feel towards a _corpse_?

Apparently, quite a bit. I had tested the boundaries of my self-imposed leash. I couldn't even go ten steps past the edge of town before the ache in my heart became so great that I was forced to turn back. I was disgusted by my weakness, but I just could not leave Dick Sandvich behind. He had done so much for me. I desperately wished I could do something to honor him, but I couldn't return to the manor either. It hurt too much to see his still body lying there. All I could do was wander through the town, feeling very lost and alone. How was I ever supposed to avenge his death if I was trapped here like a caged animal?

I sighed. Perhaps I was being too hard on myself. Maybe all I needed was a little bit of time to grieve and get over it, and then I could go kick some serious ass. Yes, that sounded like a good plan. I decided stay here for a day or two and then head out in search of…whoever that sadistic freak was. It occurred to me that I had never actually learned his name, but in reality I didn't want to know it. I just wanted him gone, and preferably in the most painful way possible.

But first things first. Where would I stay? One would think that this wouldn't be a very difficult problem to solve when you're in a completely empty town, but it was for me. I finally settled on a small house towards the outskirts of the town; far enough from my friend's final resting place to make my heart ache, but not quite far enough for that ache to be unbearable. I'd have to learn to deal with the pain eventually, but it was probably better to start off with smaller doses of it.

The house I chose was rather nice, even if the interior was a little sparse. Still, whoever had lived here before me had left behind the essentials and a couple of paintings that were at least nice looking. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened here. The town seemed like it would've been a nice place in its heyday. Why had it been abandoned? Although if there were freaks like the creep who was hunting me lurking around here, then it didn't really surprise me that the former residents had packed up and left.

Despite this, I could see myself living quite happily here for the rest of my life. I couldn't help but imagine myself curled up on the couch with a book, resting against Sandvich's side as we read it together.

My heart tightened painfully. No matter how much I wanted it, that was one dream that would never come true. I rubbed my eyes, trying to hold off the tears that were threatening to spill over. I was being hunted by a lunatic. I didn't have the luxury of wallowing in self-pity on top of everything else.

I had to find a way to distract myself. I had seen a swimming pool when I was wandering around the town. The water had looked clear enough, but who knew what sorts of nasty little microbes were living in it. But, honestly, I didn't really care. I had been stabbed in the stomach and hadn't died from it. I may have just been overconfident, but I doubted that I would be done in by some little bacterium. Of course, I had never occurred to me that I would find a suitable place in the middle of the desert to go for a swim, so I didn't have a swimsuit. Then again, I could always go in just my underwear. Nobody was around to see me, and it really wasn't that different than a bikini, right? Besides, swimming had always helped me to calm down and relax, so maybe it would do the same for me now. I really wanted to just dive right in and let the water wash away the day's events.

So, after much debate, that's what I did. It was probably my best decision all day, and for a short blissful while, I was able to forget. But as the sun set, the water, which had been chilly from the start, only got colder. I was forced out much too soon for my liking. The surrounding air wasn't much better. It might have actually been worse. I shivered, cursing myself for not finding a towel or something before leaving my temporary home. Even so, I didn't leave the poolside. Instead, I sat on a nearby bench and shivered again. If Sandvich had been here, he would've scolded me for sitting out here in the cold and tell me that I'd get catch my death. And then he would wrap me up in the warmth and the safety of those giant arms so that it could've been the coldest arctic night and I wouldn't have felt it, and then he'd carry me home. He would've taken care of me, just like he always had.

Every memory I had of him picked that exact moment to come back to me. It was too much for me. I started to cry. He had always been so gentle, kind, patient, and loving. I cursed myself for not catching on sooner. I had hid behind all my defenses when I should've been opening myself to him. I should've been making the best of my time with him instead of worrying whether or not it was okay to be with him, to trust and love him. He had never once been upset with me and my uncertainty. He remained patient, gently nudging me from time to time, comforting me whenever I became afraid, always handling me with such gentleness and care. And I had ignored all of this, and I hated myself for it.

I was so distraught I almost missed the music. It sounded like it came from a broken record player that was being played over an old P.A. system. In other words, it was extremely disturbing. I looked in the direction that it was coming from. Of all the things that I would've expected to see, the medic wearing a rabbit hat was nowhere near the top ten. I stared at him, my brain desperately trying to process what I was seeing. He returned my stare, or at least I think he did. I'm pretty sure he was cross-eyed.

Hold up. Medic with a rabbit hat? Sandvich had mentioned something about this. This was Rabic. What did he say Rabic did when he attacked? _Come on, Kami. Think!_ Rabic's nostrils flared and he began inhaling noisily. And then I remembered what Rabic did. _Oh crap…_

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu – "

I was sent flying by the sound blast of Rabic's scream and landed in a rather ungraceful pile some twenty feet away from the bench. I felt like I had been hit by a semi. My head began to hurt. I struggled to sit up when I heard a low chuckle come from the direction of the pool. Looking up, I swear I saw Spyane standing on top of the water. But that was impossible! She was dead! I saw her get killed by that man!

"You're precious Dick Sandvich won't save you now!" she called, laughing at me. She held up a sandwich, the exact kind my dearest friend had loved so much. The bitch was mocking me!

I clenched my eyes shut, allowing a cry of anger, fear, and confusion to escape from me. She was dead. Hell, she had been killed twice. I had left her body in the basement of the manor. And yet she still had the strength to come here and make fun of Sandvich. I didn't care if she was already dead; I'd kill her again! No one disrespects my love!

I gritted my teeth, ready for a fight. When I opened my eyes, Spyane was gone. How could that be? No one moved that fast! I looked around, now really confused. I didn't find anyplace she could've run off to and hide. What I did find was the sandwich sitting innocently on the ground in front of me. I picked it up as I stood. I turned to look at Rabic. He just stood there staring at me with this stupid smirk on his face. I felt the anger rising up within me. I hated him. It was completely unfair. I hadn't done anything to provoke that attack. I took a bite out of the sandwich. I wanted to get back at him. I wanted Rabic to know how much that hurt. The more I thought about it, the more furious I became. With the anger came something that I had never felt before, and I'm not sure if I could even describe what it was. I felt strong, but neither physically nor emotionally. I just felt…powerful. I wasn't sure what to do with this, but as I glared at Rabic, instinct took over.

"** –"**

This could not be happening. I had taken Rabic's attack and returned it tenfold, which was impossible right? But what terrified me was that I couldn't control it. I couldn't stop it. The sound of an explosion interrupted me. Gasping from the exertion, I fell to my knees. A soft thud followed shortly after. I glanced up and almost became sick from the sight before me. Rabic's head was gone, and squishy looking bits of brain were scattered about the area. I had caused his head to explode.

I couldn't look away. I wanted to desperately, but I couldn't. Oh my god. I had blown up his head with my voice. This could not have happened. I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. I know I was mad at him, but I hadn't meant to kill him, and I had done it just by screaming. It was beyond impossible! This kind of stuff just didn't happen!

I usually run away from what I'm scared of, but it's very hard to run away from yourself. I still ran anyway. The second I got home, I turned on every light I found. As soon as I was satisfied that they was nothing hiding in the shadows, I holed up in the bedroom, hiding under the covers. It briefly crossed my mind that I was acting like a six-year-old, believing that lights and blankets would keep me safe from the bad monsters that might be hiding under my bed, but at least I wasn't crying. Sniffling and whimpering, yes, but not bawling my eyes out.

Just as I was beginning to calm down, the lights went out. I struggled to keep from panicking. _Chill out,_ I told myself. _It's probably just a blown fuse or something. Just go fix it. _I didn't like the idea of leaving the safety of my bed, but the thought of sitting here in the dark appealed to me even less. I was a sitting duck, or rather, a _blind _sitting duck if I stayed here. But there was no way I was going to wander around in the pitch black room. Maybe whoever had lived here before me had left behind a flashlight. I felt around for the nightstand. My hand touched wood. Bingo. Next challenge: finding the drawer. After a little bit of hunting, I found the handle and pulled. I heard something roll and hit the side of the drawer. "Thank you, God," I muttered, pulling out a small flashlight and flicking it on. I sat for a while, basking in the glow of this tiny heaven-sent, before leaving the safety of the bedroom.

As I came down the stairs, the beam fell on a box that was sitting in the middle of the room. That was definitely not there before. I slowly crept closer to it. Even though it was just sitting there, it scared the living hell out of me. I rolled my eyes at my fear. I was such a chicken. This wasn't that dopey Ju-on game. The box did not contain a murderous psycho ghost. It was just a cardboard box. I nudged it with my foot. Nothing happened. _See? Nothing wrong with the box. You were just being silly._ I bent over to pick it up.

"Mhrr!" Without warning, a creature with a very large head burst out of the box. It wore a gas mask, muffling its voice. I yelped, stumbling backwards. The creature, which seemed to have a peculiar lack of arms, came after me. "Murh hurr!" The thing literally swung its head to the side, accompanied by a clicking noise. It then swung its head at me, sending me flying into the wall across the room. I slid painfully to the floor. "Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr," it said. I had dropped the flashlight, and now my assailant was backlit. I could make out its silhouette standing over me. Man, this thing was fast!

I felt my head begin to pound. I blinked up at the figure. The shape didn't look like the armless thing that had launched itself at me anymore. I shook my head. No…no, it couldn't be…it just couldn't be him…he was _dead_! I had left him lying in the basement of the manor! _Dick Sandvich was standing right in front of me!_ "Kami! Help now!" he yelled, racing at me. I cried out in terror and turned away, pain lancing through me. I had let him die and now I was going to pay for it! I waited.

But nothing happened. I dared to look back again. The armless thing was there again, laughing at me. My fear and anguish suddenly twisted within me, becoming something bitter and spiteful. I wanted this thing gone. I saw red. It had intruded and now it had to be punished. The anger built up inside me until I couldn't control it. It pounded through my veins, and I felt invincible. I swear my skin was glowing white. I barely heard the thing mutter a resigned "egh yrgh mghma" before the rage took over my mind. Not even thinking, I lunged at it. It screamed as I tackled it. I tore into it. One part of my mind was horrified; the other seemed to rejoice in being free to maim as it pleased. That part was spurred on by its pained screams. The other part of me seemed to hide in a corner to wait for the whole situation to blow over.

"Did that sting? _Sorry_!" I heard myself say. Or was it me? It didn't sound like me. I never sounded this cruel or sarcastic. It was like I wasn't me anymore, like I was going through some sort of fucked up out-of-body experience. It registered somewhere in my mind that the room was still dark. I raised a hand and pointed at the fuse box, and the lights came back on. Satisfied, and a little confused as to how I just did that, I turned back to the downed creature. I watched in absolute horror as I plunged my hand into his chest and pulled out his heart.

Suddenly, the rage vanished, leaving me drained. I panted for a moment, eyes closed. I couldn't think straight. What just happened? I couldn't remember. I felt something warm and squishy in my hand. I looked down and screamed. I winged the heart across the room and stumbled away from the disemboweled body. I was covered in blood. What the hell had I done? I don't kill people, and especially not like that! I sat in the corner, hugging my knees to my chest, staring at the scene before me, trying desperately not to go into hysterics.

I heard a quiet whoosh and tore my gaze away from the dead…whatever that was…to see Weaselcake materialize in the room. Oh, thank god, a friendly face! I just hoped I hadn't killed a close personal friend of his. His eyes glanced down at the body and then back up to me. "Nice bit of work ya did with Pystrich," he told me, sounding impressed. I slowly shook my head, still shocked over what had happened. I was most certainly not impressed with what I had done. "Where's that big mate o' yours?"

I didn't want to tell him the truth. I didn't want to tell him that Sandvich was dead because of me. "He's not here," I managed to croak.

After a moment, Weaselcake inflated and turned white with a cry of "Jarate!" Pystrich's body promptly turned into a jar filled with…really? Urine? I really wasn't sure which was worse, the mutilated body or _this_. I looked up questioningly at Weaselcake only to find that he had vanished again. As nice of a guy as he was, this whole appearing/disappearing at random act was really annoying. Didn't he ever think that maybe I had questions I wanted answers to? Like, oh I don't know, maybe 'What the hell is happening to me?', 'How was your day?', 'What's with the jar of piss?' Seriously, how inconsiderate could you get? Then again, I suppose I hadn't really come across in a chatty mood. I was still irked enough to throw the jar through the window.

I stormed back up to the bedroom, threw myself onto the bed, and began to sob. This was too much for me. I had been stabbed in the stomach and hadn't died. Hell, it had barely slowed me down. I summoned swords out of air, I stole the attacks of others and returned them tenfold, I had torn apart a man with my bare hands…Oh my god…I had murdered two people within one day, practically within an hour of each other. What was happening to me? I have never been this terrified in my life. I wanted Dick Sandvich. Nothing was right anymore. I had seen him, hadn't I? No, it couldn't really have been him. It was probably his ghost or something, coming back to haunt me after being killed so suddenly, wondering why I had done nothing to help him. God, I was so useless!

I curled up into a tight ball. I was so lonely. It felt weird to not have Sandvich next to me, which is somewhat strange since I could remember thinking it was weird to be sleeping with him. But now it was just flat out wrong to not be snuggled up in arms of my friend. In a desperate attempt to somehow take the edge off the loss, I got back up and rummaged around the house, finding a couple of large comforters. I piled them up next to me on the bed and curled up against them. It wasn't anywhere near to being the same as being next to a living person, but at least the bed didn't feel quite as empty.

This place was far too dangerous. I couldn't afford to stay here and mourn any longer. In the morning, I'd have to leave…and I'd have to leave my love behind.

I cried myself to sleep.

… … … … … … …

_I felt it. I hadn't in so long, but I still recognized it. The voice was back. It was here, biding its time, forcing me to wait just to freak me out further. Well, I wasn't going to let that happen; not after the kind of shitty day I had. "I know you're here," I called. "You may as well show yourself." Nothing happened for a very long time._

"_Well, I haven't seen you for a while." Even though I knew it was there and I knew that's what it was going to do, I still jumped. "Where have you been? Fawning over your new man? Believing all of the lines he fed you?"_

"_You know what? I'm really not in the mood for this today," I snapped, disguising my fear with anger. "Would you just come out and show yourself?"_

"_Oh, very well," it sighed. "I suppose we couldn't have kept up this game forever. But it was fun while it lasted, wasn't it?"_

_A person materialized before me. Its hair was pitch black, its skin sickly pale, and its purple eyes filled with a cold hate. I recognized this person. It was _me. _"What are you?" I asked, feeling the dread creeping up on me. _

"_You don't know? My, you're thicker than I thought. I am you, or rather, I am your Shadow. If you want, you can call me Shadow Kami. I know, not very creative, but it's better than being called 'the voice' all the time. And, please, I'm a 'she,' not an 'it.' Anyway, I know the real you, Kami. All of your pain, sadness, anger, hate…I help you to carry it and use it to your advantage. That's why I would never hurt you. I'd only be hurting myself," she said ever so sweetly._

"_You're lying," I told her flatly. _

"_Am I? Think about today."The memories flashed in front of my eyes, how I had suddenly become so extremely violent out of nowhere, how I had brutally killed two…things. I began to tremble. "See? I'm not lying. I made you strong."_

"_No, you made me a monster. You made me a murderer!" I cried, backing away._

"_Oh, but you must admit that you did enjoy it," she said, advancing. "No matter how briefly, you did enjoy it."_

"_No…_No_!" I tripped and fell._

"_Oh little Kami, stop fighting yourself. Stop fighting _me_. I will make you more powerful than you could ever dream. You'll never need to rely on anyone else ever again. And you want that, don't you? I know how hard it is for you to keep losing people, especially your boyfriends. And even though I can teach you how to use this pain, I truly don't like seeing you hurting."_

_I bristled at her words. This thing was insane. And how dare she use Sandvich's name for me! Only he was allowed to call me 'Little Kami.' I wanted to tell her off, but I was terrified. What if what she said was true, that this creature really was me? "I…I don't want this. You're lying. You're evil and you're lying. S-stay away from me. STAY AWAY!" _

_She knelt down over me, effectively trapping me. "I know you don't like me now, but someday you will. You will, and you'll thank me for everything. So just forget about Dick Sandvich. He's gone." Her eyes narrowed like a cat's. "In fact, if you think about it, he's the liar. Yes, this Dick Sandvich of yours lied to you."_

"_Wh-what? No! You're wrong. He'd never lie to me!"_

"_But he did. He promised that he'd always be there for you, didn't he? Where is he now, hmm? Well? Come on, answer me."_

_Anger flared in me. "He didn't leave me. He died. It's not his fault that he's gone."_

"_Ah, that's right. It's _your _fault that he's dead." I couldn't say anything. I couldn't deny it. She was right. I hadn't been able to save him. I was weak. It was all my fault. "See what I mean? You were powerless then, but with my help, you can change that." Suddenly her face was right in mine. "Trust me, little Kami, and you…_we_ will go far."_

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My head hurt, but that did not matter to me. Where was Kami? She had been here. She had been in trouble and had been frightened. She could not defend herself…what if she was still in danger? I had to find her! I sat up to find the woman who had kidnapped Kami and myself lying across from me. She was the one who had shot me. But more importantly, she was the one who had threatened my Kami and put her in harm's way. "Did you think you could beat me?" I challenged despite being unsure if she was still alive or not. I was very happy when she sat up. That meant I could make her pay for what she had done to my little girl. "I am not done with you yet."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I _hate _you," she growled. "Let's settle this like gentlemen."

"Very well. Let us fight, man versus tiny baby man." This would be an easy fight to win. "Hit me. I dare you."

She pulled out a revolver. "I never really was on your side."

This statement confused me. Of course she was not on my side. She had tried to hurt my Kami. Anyone who did that was instantly my enemy. But I almost laughed at her little gun. Like that would do any damage to me! "I will kill you with bare hands," I told her.

"Boo-yah!" A shout startled both of us. We turned to look at the source. What appeared to be a Soldier wearing a kabuto stood across the room from us. "I am Susano! And now for my newest technique …SCREAMING MAGGOTS!" He threw his shovel, which unfortunately hit me. I roared in pain and surprise. I could hear the woman laughing at me, angering me further. I glared at this Susano character, who surprisingly looked troubled that he had hit me. I guess he simply had lousy aim. A moment later, he gritted his teeth and glowed red. A tiny pinpoint of light came from his forehead and flew into the woman's.

She cried out as her head was snapped back, followed by a flash of light. Suddenly, the woman was gone and had been replaced by a RED Spy. The Spy laughed, and behind it I could hear her voice cry for help.

An instant later, the image of the RED Spy went away. "Promise not to bleed on my suit, and I'll kill you quickly," she said calmly, taking out her butterfly knife.

I did not understand what happened, but I trusted what I had just seen. This woman needed my help somehow. I grabbed her by the shoulder, and after a moment's hesitation, plunged my hand into her. I ignored the scream. I felt my hand close around fabric and I pulled the RED Spy out of her. I let go of the woman, surprised that had actually worked. She staggered but did not fall.

"It's him," she gasped. "He's the one to blame for what happened, not me."

That was all I needed to hear. I would very happily make him pay for what he had done to my Kami.

As soon as I was done getting my revenge I turned to the woman. She watched me warily before taking a step closer. "Thank you, and I mean that. My name is Spyane, and none of this was my doing."

I shrugged. I had not done it for her sake. "Where did Kami go?"

Spyane stiffened. "That I don't know. RED Spy's boss took us out before going after your Kami."

"Who is boss?" I growled, narrowing my eyes.

She hesitated a moment before answering. "Christian Brutal Sniper. Do you who he is?"

"I have heard stories."

"If these stories you've heard are about how sadistic he is, then they're true. He enjoys the pain of others, whether it is physical or mental. It is all just a game to him, and the more brutal the better." She paused before adding quietly, "And at the moment, your Kami is his target."

"WHAT?" I roared. Why were we wasting time talking if Kami was in danger? What if he already had caught her and was now torturing her, or even worse, what if he had killed her?

"She's safe for now," Spyane said, sounding slightly annoyed. "He finds it much more fun to hunt his prey down than to kill it directly. He will leave her alone for now."

"That does not change fact that she is in danger," I growled, not at all reassured by her words.

"Oh, yes. I agree completely," she said examining her nails. "But let me ask you this. Do you know where Kami would have gone?" I started to answer but stopped short. I was not sure what she would have done. I knew she would have run if she was scared, but how far would she have been able to go? "Precisely," Spyane said, seeming to have read my thoughts. "We can't rush headlong into this. We must think it through. Tell me about your Kami. What is she like? Or rather, what is she like with you?"

I did not understand what Spyane was trying to get at, but if she thought it might help us find Kami, I was willing to tell her about ever second I had spent with the girl. "She is kind and sweet, but she is very afraid of many things. She always comes to me for safety –"

I was going to say more, but Spyane cut me off. "Then she couldn't have gone far," she said thoughtfully. "If she relies on you this heavily, I doubt that she would've been able to leave you too far behind." Spyane had a point. And Kami would have wanted to hide from danger, not expose herself to it. The poor girl must be so scared without me. "I will assist you in finding her," Spyane said suddenly.

This surprised me. "Why will you help me?"

"While I am concerned for the girl's safety, I want my revenge against Christian Brutal Sniper and that Spy even more. I do _not _enjoy being used like that. If we find her, the odds are that those two will not be far behind."

I nodded. I had known she probably had a different motive, but I was glad to have found some who was at least against the same people I was. "Thank you," I choked out. I was not used to thanking anyone other than my little girl.

She only shrugged. "Let us go. With any luck your Kami will still be somewhere in the town outside."

I allowed Spyane to take the lead. I paused and looked back at the ground where I had last seen my Kami. _Do not be afraid, little Kami. I will find you soon._

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I don't know how long I had been walking. I was focusing more on the sneaking suspicion that I was being followed. There wasn't much cover in the desert, so I had thought it would be impossible for someone to follow me in secret. Yet every time I turned around, I never saw anyone, but the feeling stayed with me. Maybe it was just being out in the sun too long that was making me paranoid. I needed to find a shady place to rest. But again, there isn't that much shelter in a desert. So I kept walking, hoping I'd find shade sooner rather than later.

The powers-that-be smiled on me today, as I found what looked like an abandoned warehouse. It was wonderfully cool inside. I leaned back against the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest. I could feel a headache creeping up on me. The pain in my chest from leaving Sandvich behind was horrible. I felt like I was being eaten away by it. I just wanted to curl up right here and die. We'd at least be together then. _Stop thinking like that,_ I told myself. _It's just plain wrong._

I suddenly tensed. Someone was here. Looking up, my heart stopped beating. It was _him_, the man who was hunting me. He chuckled, low and dangerously. My head was throbbing. I rubbed my forehead, trying to clear my thoughts. By the time I looked up again, he was standing over me, holding an axe. "I bet you're gonna get real used to lookin' up at me." I was frozen in fear and could only scream as the axe entered my skull. Suddenly, the pain was gone. I looked around in confusion. Both he and the axe were gone, and my head hadn't been split in two. But for some reason my longsword had appeared beside me. I hadn't remembered summoning it. My hand closed around the hilt.

Almost immediately the migraine returned. I looked up to find Shadow Kami standing over me with that sick smile on her face. _"You really need to learn how to deal with pain. How about I crawl down your throat and rip out your very soul? That will be a good way to teach you!"_ She began laughing like the maniac she was. Or maybe that should be 'I was.' She had said she was me…but I refused to believe that I was that thing! She raised two very brutal looking blades, her smile widening.

I screamed and made a desperate stab at her with my sword. I hit flesh, but the cry of pain did not sound at all like Shadow Kami. Looking up, I found Chibi MiKOS standing there, looking at the sword in her chest with a befuddled expression. After a moment, her eyes raised up to mine. "No hard feelings," she said almost sweetly. She glowed for a moment and then dove into me vanishing. I waited for her to reappear and cause me some form of pain, but nothing happened. I placed my hand over the spot where she had entered me. It felt much warmer than the surrounding area, but not painfully so. It was a comforting warmth. I almost felt safer and even less alone, though I don't know why exactly.

I left the warehouse, still a little dazed. What had just happened? There was no evidence that anything had occurred in there, no bloodstains or anything. But it couldn't have been my imagination. It had all felt so real. All of this was just freaking me out even more. I had to get away. It was safer to keep moving, to put distance between myself and…and what? What was I really trying to get away from? This psychotic man, or myself?

As I was passing a tall building, the feeling of being watched returned tenfold. I was out in the open, which was definitely not good. I heard a gunshot and a bullet ricocheted off of my blade. I whirled wildly, looking for who had the gun. The familiar pain in my head returned instantly. I felt my sword plunge into flesh. Looking at who I had hit, my heart practically leapt up my throat. It was Dick Sandvich. He stared at me as though I had betrayed him and began to cry. "No, oh my god, no! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, honest! I didn't know! Please don't cry! Please! I'm sorry!" I cried, disorientated and panicking.

Suddenly his head snapped back and was replaced with Spyane's. She began laughing at me, taunting me. My headache intensified. I looked away and by the time I looked back up, Spyane's head had been replaced by Shadow Kami's. _"My, my. You certainly do love stabbing your dear friend, don't you?" _came the mocking voice. Shadow Kami (or was it Sandvich?) raised a nasty looking hatchet wrapped up in barbed wire. _"I'm sure he must want revenge for all your abuse."_ The hatchet buried into my shoulder.

I dropped to my knees in agony and screamed. In an instant, the pain from the hatchet and my migraine vanished. What was with all of these coming and going headaches?

Something moved in my peripheral vision. It was on top of the building. Two men were up there, and one of them looked suspiciously like my pursuer. Anger sparked within me. I looked at my longsword. _"If you can call one, why not more?"_ something asked. _"Here, let me help you." _Shadow Kami! I tried to fight against her, but the thought of impaling the bastard was all too sweet. I tilted my head back, allowing her to 'help' me, to 'make me stronger,' as she put it. I attempted to call the swords, and I could literally feel them appear without even seeing them. _"Throw them,"_ she said, and I did just as the men fell from the roof. They missed my intended target and instead hit the other man, pinning him to the wall for a moment. I looked around for my hunter, but he had vanished into thin air.

I heard a thud from behind me. The swords I had called had vanished, allowing the other man to hit the ground. Certainly he was dead. His head snapped up to look at me. Well, scratch the 'dead' thought. He pointed to himself as a sick smile crossed his face. "I am Painis Cupcake." He then pointed at me. "I will eat you."

What? He said it so bluntly that it sent me for a bit of a loop. I didn't have much time to ponder this, seeing as he suddenly turned red and rushed at me screaming. "Time to inform your next of kin," he told me, thrusting his hand into my stomach. I was so terrified that I couldn't make a sound.

"_You're hopeless,"_ I heard Shadow Kami say. _"No wonder he died because of you." _My fear twisted into anger, though I don't know if it was by my choice or if she was doing something to me. _"Now this is more like it!"_ she crowed, and my anger increased. Oh, yeah, she was definitely doing something to me. She was using me, and I didn't like it. _"Oh, stop whining. I'm helping you. Do you want to die now? No? Didn't think so."_

I felt the rage spill over, the same way it had when I was fighting Pystrich, and the same change occurred. _"I call this one Uber Rage. Do you like it?" _No, I didn't like it at all. As wonderful as it was to be so powerful, it felt horribly wrong. _"Oh, shut up and just go with it."_

I didn't have time to reply as Painis Cupcake lunged at me. I caught his hands in mine, holding him at bay. Sparks flew. "If you know what's good for you, you will run!" he shouted at me.

"No!" I heard myself reply, though I wasn't sure if I was talking by my choice or hers. "I won't run anymore!" _"That's the spirit!" _Shadow Kami cheered.

Seconds later, a massive explosion knocked me out. When I came to, I was no longer in that 'Uber Rage' state or whatever it was that my Shadow had called it. Lucky for me, Painis Cupcake wasn't in his similar state. In fact, he wasn't moving.

Wait, nevermind. Here he comes. He stood over me and pointed to himself. "I will –" The headache slammed into me. "– eat you!" he finished in Sandvich's voice. Terror took over my mind, gluing me to the spot. Sandvich was standing in front of me. It was him! It had to be! No, now it was Spyane. I backed away, completely lost as to what was going on.

My Shadow appeared and the pain intensified. "_Oh, you poor dear! So afraid. Come here, sweetheart. I'll make it all better," _she cooed, placing her hands on my shoulder. Agony lanced through me. It felt like the skin where she touched me was being seared away. _"You thought Uber Rage was strong? You ain't seen nothing yet, girly,"_ she snarled as I dropped to my knees. _"It's time for you to find out what you really are."_ It hurt so much! I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks. The images flashed in front of me. Sandvich calling for help, him getting shot, and me not being able to do a damn thing about it. It was my fault he was dead! It was all my fault! I screamed as the pain overtook me.

I felt myself change. I felt cold, both inside and out. The guilt subsided, replaced by a bitter hatred of the world and anything in it. I wanted it all to be dead and destroyed. I realized what had happened. I had become Shadow Kami. "Yes and no. You are your true self now, Kami," she whispered.

"_No…No, I don't hate like this," _I whimpered, realizing that I could not speak the words, only think them.

Shadow Kami still seemed to be able to hear me. "Yes, you do. Wake up and smell the coffee. Better yet, watch and see just how powerful your anger and guilt make you!"

I felt helpless to stop her as she forced my body to stand. I heard myself laugh just like her. No, I didn't want this! I didn't want to be her! I tried to take back control of my body and mind, but I was pushed back. "Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, girl!"

She forced my body to stand still as Painis Cupcake rushed at us. We easily caught him and then ripped his arm clean off his body. I was horrified. She merely let out a happy little giggle. "I haven't had this much fun in years! We should do this more often!"

"_No, we shouldn't! This was horribly, horribly wrong!"_ I struggled against her control again, making absolutely no progress.

"Prepare for your…examination," I heard her sneer, using my voice. We pulled a nasty looking bladed instrument out of nothing and lunged at Painis Cupcake. I had a very unpleasant front row seat to the mutilation that followed. Had I still been in control, I would have vomited. She picked up his head, the only thing that hadn't been hacked beyond recognition, I might add. "Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!" She began laughing hysterically. "Oh, I want to do this again! I wonder if there's anyone else around. You want to play more too, don't you, Kami?"

"_NO!_" I made one last desperate attempt to break out of her control, and amazingly it worked. But I was so drained from what had just transpired that I dropped to the ground. My vision swam in front of me. I thought I heard footsteps. I looked up and my eyes widened.

"No. It can't be you," I gasped. Even though my vision was swimming, I could make out the shape of Sandvich standing over me. I slowly reached out to him. "But it is you, isn't it? Please say it's you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Do you still love me?" He slowly bent over. I smiled. "Oh, thank you. Thank you." I lost consciousness.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I had hoped that Kami had found a good, safe hiding place and stayed put, but it seemed that neither had happened. Spyane is very observant and found a house that looked as though it had been very recently used. I must admit that it looked like something Kami would be attracted to. Only it had bloodstains on the floor and she was nowhere to be found. I was certain my little Kami had been killed. She could not have defended herself from danger. Spyane seemed to think otherwise.

"Notice anything odd about that?" she asked, nodding to the worn cardboard box that was sitting in the middle of the room.

"Pystrich. He killed Kami!" I was beyond furious. When I found him, I would make him regret ever coming near her and regret hurting her even more.

"Now hang on. What I meant was there is that Pystrich isn't there. Or at least not anymore. However…" She knelt down and picked up a small piece of blue fabric. "I don't think he killed your Kami; I think it was the other way around."

I could not believe what I was hearing. Spyane could not seriously be suggesting that my sweet innocent little Kami had been the cause of this. That was not possible. Someone else must have done this. Kami probably had not been here at all, or was scared away if she had been here. But the more we looked around, the less certain I felt about this.

And then I found the strand of red-gold hair on the pillow in the bedroom. My heart fell. Kami had spent the night here. She had slept here. I doubted that she would have stayed here had the blood already been there. I could not believe it. Kami had caused that scene downstairs, or had at least been a part of it. Kami was not a violent girl. I could see her trying to protect herself, but I could not imagine her doing anything that vicious.

"You found something?" I barely acknowledged Spyane's question, only holding up the strand of hair. "Kami's?" I nodded. After a very long moment, Spyane placed a hand on my arm. I stiffened slightly. Most people do not touch me like that. Only Kami had offered kind gestures like this to me. "I don't know exactly what happened here, but I do know that she misses you immensely," she said softly.

I bristled at this. Who did she think she was? She did not know Kami the way I did. Even if I wanted it to be true, she had no right to say things like that. "How do you know?" I asked, trying very hard not to punch her into a wall.

Spyane's voice remained unusually gentle. "The pile of blankets. Look at how they are arranged. It's almost the same size as you. I think your Kami is lonely without you." I blinked and looked at the bed again. Spyane was right. I could almost see little Kami curled up against the pile, trying to get some form of comfort from my substitute.

She took her hand off my arm. "So, your Kami has become a violent creature that still needs her rather large friend," Spyane said, her voice returning to its normal business-like tone. "What are you going to do?"

I did not take my eyes off the bed. I did not care what my Kami had done, though I still had trouble believing that she could have killed someone. All that I cared about was the fact that she still wanted me. She was suffering all alone. I had promised to not let that happen to her. I would not let her down. "I will find her," I answered, finally looking up.

Spyane grinned. "Good." Her hand was suddenly of my arm again, this time gripping it. "Hang on."

Within a heartbeat, we were outside and clearly very far from the town. "What happened?" I asked. Spyane did not answer. "Spyane?" She was not even looking at me; she was staring at something behind me. I turned around and froze.

Standing in the middle of a pool of blood and gore was a girl who looked like but could not possibly have been Kami. "Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!" she sneered to the severed head she was holding before laughing. There was no way that was Kami. She would never do anything like that. That thing was a monster. She dropped the head, still laughing. "Oh, I want to do this again! I wonder if there's anyone else around. You want to play more too, don't you, Kami?"

What? Why was this thing addressing my Kami? She would never associate herself with something like that monster! But…where was Kami? I did not see her anywhere.

I heard a splash behind me. Both Spyane and I turned to see Heavydile pulling himself out of the water. He noticed us and grinned before turning his attention to the Kami look-alike. Suddenly she let out a small whimper of pain and dropped to her knees. Black hair turned orange, pale skin gained color, and cruel purple eyes became soft blue-green. I was too stunned to move. Kami – my poor little Kami – sat trembling on the ground.

Heavydile stood over her. She looked up, dazed, and her eyes widened. "No. It can't be you," she said. She sounded delirious. She held out a pleading hand to Heavydile. "But it is you, isn't it? Please say it's you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Do you still love me?" What? Why was she asking if he loved her? She could not possibly believe that he was me, did she? He bent over, reaching out for her, and Kami smiled. My eyes widened. She only smiled like that for me. She really did think he was me! "Oh, thank you. Thank you," she said and collapsed.

Heavydile picked the still girl up by the neck. Kami did not react at all. "I am Heavydile, and I am going to eat you!"

The threat snapped me out of my trance. _Nobody_ touched my Kami! I grabbed the nearest thing I could find and threw it at Heavydile. Unfortunately, the nearest thing was Spyane. Well, it was her problem now. Only the motionless girl mattered to me. I picked Kami up as gently as I could. Her body was as limp as a ragdoll and as cold as ice. If it was not for her chest moving as she breathed, I would have thought she was dead. I held her close, trying to both protect and warm her, and ran. I could hear Spyane and Heavydile fighting behind me and I briefly considered going back to help, but Kami was more important to me. I had to get her away from danger.

"You are an idiot, you know that, right?" I glanced over my shoulder to see Spyane chasing after me. Her arm was bleeding, but otherwise she looked fine. "What were you thinking? Leaving me to fight that thing on my own…Seriously!" I said nothing, just shifting Kami into a safer position in my arms. I was very afraid of dropping her. She was so still, so lifeless, and it terrified me.

I felt something grab the back of my shirt. A second later, I found myself in front of the house Spyane thought Kami had stayed in. Disoriented, I stopped running. "Teleportation, dimwit," Spyane snapped, releasing my shirt and walking away. I stood for a moment, watching her leave. I felt a little foolish, but I did not have time to dwell on that. Kami needed me first.

I brought her up to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. I lay down beside her and began pulling every blanket up around us, including those from my substitute. She would not need it now that I was here. I began rubbing her arms and hands, trying to restore some warmth to them, but it did not work at all. I gave up on that idea and wrapped my arms around the poor girl, holding her as close as possible. She was so cold, her breathing shallow, and her heartbeat near nonexistent. The girl was on death's doorstep. No, she would not die. I refused to allow that to happen.

I heard someone come up the stairs. I tightened my arms around Kami, prepared to protect her, but it was only Spyane. She stopped short when she saw us. I remembered how Kami had protested us sleeping together at first, how she had said it was wrong. I had seen nothing wrong in it, but Spyane might. What if she tried to make me leave Kami? I did not care if it was wrong, I would not leave her. But she did not say anything. She came to the side of the bed, and after glancing at me, she reached out and placed a hand on Kami's head. I almost swatted the hand away, but I stopped myself. She was not trying to hurt Kami. "What have you become, girl?" she said under her breath, so quietly I almost did not hear it.

I did not like Spyane talking to my Kami like this. It sounded almost accusatory to me, like she was blaming Kami for that bloody scene. I was angry enough to snap her arm right then and there, but I also owed her for helping me find Kami. I would let this one go. For now.

Still, I did feel a little bad about leaving her behind to fight Heavydile on her own. When I apologized, Spyane just shrugged. "I've been through worse. Besides, Kami needed you more, the poor girl," she said. This surprised me. I had thought Spyane did not care about her. "She's too cold. This isn't normal. I'm going to find help. I know you don't need to be told this, but take care of her."

"I will," I answered. She turned to go, but I still had something I wanted to ask. "Why did you not just take me to her right away?"

She looked over her shoulder and grinned. "I wanted to see just how devoted to her you were. I admire that sort of thing. Needless to say, you passed with flying colors." Her gaze returned to Kami and the smile faded. "You tell her that she can't give up yet, that she needs to be strong. She's still needed by her friend." Spyane vanished, leaving me alone again with Kami.

"Maybe we have found friend, Kami," I told the girl, gently stroking her hair. She was beginning to warm up, and both her breathing and her heartbeat were getting stronger. Life was returning to her. Perhaps she would not need the help that Spyane was going for after all. Soon she would be well again, and then everything could go back to the way it was. "Everything will be fine now," I assured the unconscious girl.

I sighed. As much as I wanted to believe my own words, Spyane did have a point. What had happened to my little Kami to make her do those things? If I had not seen it myself, I would never have believed that she and that look-alike were the same person. But even that did not seem right. As perceptive as Spyane was, I believed she had missed something. When that monster had turned into my Kami, for a split second before she fell to the ground, her face had been a mask of unadulterated terror. I have never seen her so scared before. I do not believe that she had been in control or that it had been her choice to mutilate a person. So that thing was Kami, but was also _not_ Kami. It was all too confusing. "Oh, what has happened to you? Why did you not stay put?" I asked her, knowing full well I would not get a response. "I would have come for you. I _did_ come for you. But you ran and got in trouble, and now I must get you out of it." I placed a hand on her cheek. It hurt when she did not cuddle into it. She always responded when I touched her, even if she was asleep. I sighed again and kissed the top of her head before laying back down to wait for her to wake up.

I tried to sleep, but I was too worried about little Kami to do so. After what felt like years, she moaned softly. I was delighted. Kami was waking up! I leaned over her and gently turned her head to face me. I wanted the very first thing that she saw when she opened her eyes to be me. But much to my surprise, she shied away from my touch with a frightened squeak. "Go away," she whimpered. I backed off, a little hurt. What had I done wrong? I stayed put and listened to her. She curled up as though she was in pain and mumbled, "I don't believe you." I placed a hand on Kami's shoulder, remembering the nightmares she used to have. They must be returning to her now. Kami suddenly gritted her teeth, clearly mad, and growled, "He loves me. I know he does." I smiled slightly. She must be talking about me. Someone was trying to lie to her, but she was not listening to them. She knew what real.

But then her face fell, and she began to shake. "No…that can't be right…That isn't him. That isn't Sandvich…no…he does…no, he doesn't…are you really him?"

"Hush, Kami. Do not listen to dream. Listen to me. I am here," I told her. I sat up and pulled the little girl into my lap, cradling her in my arms. I did not know what she was being told, and I did not want to know either. Whatever it was, it was a lie, and it was clearly hurting Kami. Why was nothing I did working to comfort her? I had always been able to chase away her bad dreams before. Why was nothing working now? I shook her gently, thinking that if I could not comfort her, maybe I could wake her. It did not work.

"You love me. You said you did," she almost pleaded, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "You…hate me?" she whispered.

My heart nearly broke. "No! Do not think that, Kami!" I placed my hand on her cheek, gently rubbing it with my thumb. "I could _never _hate you. Kami, I _love_ you." But instead of calming down, Kami pushed my hand away, now clearly crying. "Kami, it is me! You are safe!"

She struggled weakly against my arms. "You're lying. I don't believe you."

I froze. I knew she was talking to whoever was in her dream, but for a moment it felt as though she was actually talking to me. I was not lying to her. I loved her more than anything else in the world. She knew that, did she not?

I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped and would have beaten whatever touched me to within an inch of its life if I had not been holding Kami. It was a good thing too, because it was just Spyane, her arm now bandaged. "Leave her be," she said softly. I shook my head and held the sobbing girl closer. There was no way that I was going to leave my little Kami alone. Spyane's voice suddenly took on a harder edge. "Look, whatever you're doing is not helping Kami at all, and seeing her like this is obviously hurting you immensely." She sighed and her tone became sympathetic again. "This isn't doing either of you any good."

I looked down into Kami's face again and wiped away a few more tears from her cheeks. "I am sorry," I told her, gently placing her back on the bed and tucking her in. "I love you so much. Remember that, my little Kami," I whispered to her, kissing her forehead. And then I followed Spyane out of the room, leaving my poor little girl all by herself. It killed me to do that to her. I sat down heavily on the couch and sighed. "Where is help you promised to bring?" I asked Spyane halfheartedly.

"He's coming. He said he had a few things he needed to take care of first," Spyane answered.

Spyane offered no form of comfort to me, which was perfectly fine. I am not sure if I would have accepted it anyway. I was still upset that she made me leave Kami. I hung my head and waited in silence for this help to arrive.

"Hello, Fräuleins!"

My head snapped up. Had she really found _him_? Looking at the door, my heart was momentarily lifted. "Warin, my friend!"

"It is good to see you again, Herr Sandvich," the medic greeted me as he entered. "Spyane said zat Ihr Freund vas not vell at all. Vhere is Kami?"

I smiled. This was why I liked him so much. He always got right down to business. "I love this doctor!" I flashed Spyane a grateful smile. She had done well. She could not have found anyone better to care for Kami than this man. "Come with me, Warin. She is upstairs."

Just as we started up the stairs, Kami screamed. Seconds later, there was an explosion. Kami was in trouble! I charged up the stairs with Warin and Spyane behind me. I had to save Kami!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_I felt cold and absolutely exhausted. It took all my strength just to sit up. Where was I? It looked like a fairly ordinary field with a few trees here and there and couple of boulders, yet something about it made me uneasy. I felt exposed, like something could get me at any given second. I suddenly had the sneaking suspicion that I was being watched. _

"_Ah, there you are. You certainly took your time waking up." Oh no. Anything but her. "You're weaker than I had originally thought. But don't worry about that, we'll have plenty of time to work on that," Shadow Kami said, materializing beside one of the boulders. _

_The thought of spending more time with this fiend terrified me. I watched nervously as she approached. She knelt down with that fake smile on her lips and reached out to touch my cheek. "Go away," I whimpered, still too drained to do anything else but flinch away._

"_Oh, now I'm hurt, Kami. I thought we were friends. We're much better friends than you and that big guy ever were," she said, failing miserably to hide the venom behind those words. I said nothing in response and only looked away. "Come now, is that any way to treat your best friend? You know, I think we're more than just friends. I feel that we are…family. I know everything about you, I look out for you…why, I'm more like your big sister than anything else. And as such, don't you think that I'd love you much more than that Sandvich ever would? You know, there are times that I wonder if he ever loved you at all."_

"_Shut up."_

"_Oh, have I hit a raw nerve? So you've had your doubts as well."_

_I narrowed my eyes. "I have never doubted him."_

"_Surely you must have had some misgivings when you first met him."_

"_I always have misgivings when I meet new people. If you're my 'sister,' you already should've known that," I snapped. I knew I was practically challenging Shadow Kami to a fight, but I wanted to see if I could prove her wrong, to see if I could win. Maybe if I did, she'd go away forever._

"_Fair enough. But I know for a fact that he never really loved you."_

"_I don't believe you, Shadow Kami." Even though I believed what I said, subconsciously, I curled up into a ball._

"_Oh, sure, he did for a little while. You are very pretty. But beyond that, you're pretty useless. It hurts a lot to tell you that, but it's true. He got tired of you very quickly. He doesn't care about you anymore. In fact, he hasn't cared about you for a long time."_

_I gritted my teeth, trying to control the flash of anger I felt. "He loves me. I know he does," I growled dangerously._

"_Do you, now? Well, what if I told you that I had spoken to him personally, and he told me that he doesn't love you?" she asked coldly, standing up and wandering away from me. _

"_What? How…? No. That can't be right. You couldn't have talked to him. You're stuck here…aren't you?" Just how nonchalant she was being scared the heck out of me. She was so certain of herself. _

"_Who says I left? He came to me. Let me show you." Shadow Kami flashed me a quick smile before walking behind the boulder. A moment later, someone that looked very much like Dick Sandvich came out from behind it, but something was definitely off._

"_That isn't him," I said straight out. Seriously, how dumb did she think I was? This was obviously a very lame trick. "That isn't Sandvich."_

"_Is it?" I heard Shadow Kami ask from somewhere. I shiver went down my spine. _

_I watched as the Sandvich look-alike came to me. He pulled me up to my feet and held me close against his chest with all the tenderness in the world. "Poor little Kami," came the gentle rumbling voice. It sounded like the real him. It felt like the real him. It really did. I relaxed into his arms. _

_Suddenly, he pushed me hard, sending me stumbling backwards. I stared at him, confused and hurt. He started laughing at me. "No…" I breathed. That couldn't be him. My Sandvich would never do anything like that to me. _

"_But doesn't he look just like your Sandvich? Doesn't he behave like him? Feel like him?" came Shadow Kami's voice._

_The feeling of being safe and warm in those arms enveloped me again. "He does…" I answered deliriously. Wait, what was I saying? That simply was not the real him! "No, he doesn't," I said quickly, but for some reason, I didn't believe what I said. "Are you really him?"_

_The Sandvich clone stopped laughing. "I am Dick Sandvich," he said very seriously. _

_His voice didn't sound right, but at the moment, I was too frantic to care. "You love me. You said you did," I said. I felt like I was begging him to say that I was right and that he had always loved me._

_But Sandvich's lips curled in a sneer. "I HATE Kami!" _

_I sank to the ground, stunned. "You…hate me?" I repeated. He began laughing again, much louder and crueler than the first time. I buried my face in my hands, completely crushed. Everything I had ever believed about us was wrong. Sandvich was dead, so his hatred couldn't have been a recent development. He must have hated me even before he died and I was too stupid to realize it._

"_That's right, Kami," my Shadow said gently as the cruel laughter faded away. "That was his ghost, and that is the way he really feels about you." She sighed and placed her arms around me. "I didn't want you to have to learn that painful truth, but you had been living a lie for far too long. I hope you can forgive me someday. But now you understand why I am your only friend, why I am the only person you can trust."_

_I almost believed her. But there was something that just didn't add up. Something about this entire thing seemed wrong, but I couldn't figure out what. "You're lying," I choked. "I don't believe you."_

_Shadow Kami shoved me away roughly. "Fine. Don't believe me. But someday you'll have to accept the truth, and then you'll come crawling back to me. See you later, little Kami." _

_I was alone again. I pulled my knees up to my chest, still crying. Sandvich loved me, didn't he? He had promised that he always would. Why didn't he want me anymore? Did that really matter? He was gone, right? Something still seemed extremely wrong about this. _

_Out of the blue, something grabbed me from behind, causing me to scream. "I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you!" What? But hadn't I – I mean – hadn't Shadow Kami killed him? _

… … … … … … …

I woke with a start to find a familiar face looming over me. I cried out in terror, grabbed his shirt, and flung him across the room. That didn't seem to affect him in the least, as a moment later he came to. The intruder looked and moved almost exactly like Painis Cupcake, except he introduced himself as "Anus Cupcake" and didn't threaten to eat me. I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Seconds later, I felt someone else grab me from behind. "And I'm Private Haircut," the newcomer said, accompanied by the same music as the first time we met. I was thoroughly lost. He was supposed to be dead! Sandvich had crushed his skull!

I was scared. Who were these people? What did they want with me? I needed help. Suddenly, I felt a small circle on the center of my chest grow warm. It was the same spot where Chibi MiKOS had entered me. Without even thinking, I held out my hand, and I felt the warmth spread down my arm to my palm. And then she was there. Chibi MiKOS gave me a friendly smile and nod before causing an explosion that sent my uninvited visitors flying out the window, yet both of us and the room itself were amazingly unscathed despite the blast and the massive fireball that certainly had formed.

I stared at her. "How…?" I started and then stopped, unsure of which question I wanted to ask first. How did you get here? How did you do that? How did we not die?

She smiled innocently and said, "Android," as though that was the only explanation that was needed. She glanced around the room. "All clear." She returned her attention to me and smiled again. "Sleep-mode activated. Good night, friend," she said and vanished, returning to that spot on my chest. This was just so weird. The best I could piece together was that I had a robotic bodyguard who resided, well, in my body. I rubbed my head, feeling another headache coming on.

I raised my head and yelped in alarm. The room was on fire! I could've sworn that just seconds ago everything was fine! And…were those…crows? What were crows doing in my room? And what was I doing here anyways? I thought I had left this place behind for good. What the hell was going on?

My migraine peaked and I dropped my head back into my hands. "What's the matter now?" I froze when I heard that cold, hissing voice. I raised my head. _"Is wittle Kami all confused?"_ Shadow Kami asked like I was a two year old. _"Aww, come here, sweetheart. I'll make it all go away."_ She reached out for me and I backed away in terror, bumping into the wall. I pressed myself against it, trying desperately to stay as far from her as possible.

"Kami!"

I swung my head towards the voice, wide-eyed in confusion and hope. Dick Sandvich…he was standing there in the doorway. But how could that be? He looked, sounded, and behaved just like my dearest friend. But he was dead, wasn't he? And besides, my dream…he didn't care about me…why was he here looking so concerned about me now? I shook my head, trying to clear it. At that second, I felt Shadow Kami take hold of me. "_Your eyes are lying,"_ she hissed. "_Here is the truth."_

I looked at the doorway again to find Sandvich gone. Instead, he had been replaced by the psychopath that was trying to kill me. "Heads up!" he laughed, throwing a kukri at my face. Startled, I stumbled back a step. Images of him flashed in front of my eyes; him murdering Spyane and then laughing about it, him threatening me and promising that I would be the next to die. My hands curled into fists. I looked at them and was surprised to see a thin trickle of blood coming from where my fingernails dug into my palms.

At the moment, Shadow Kami painfully seized control of me. I couldn't stop from screaming. I could feel my Shadow's delight. _"Time to play…"_

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Kami was pressed up against the wall, staring fearfully at something that was not there. What was she so afraid of? "Kami!" I yelled, trying to break her trance. Her head snapped towards me. For a moment, it looked like she recognized me, but she did not seem to believe it. She shook her head and when she looked back up at me, her eyes held an unnatural light. She backed up a step with a terrified squeal. Why was she scared of me?

Suddenly, her head snapped back. She clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles turned white. She looked down at them, bewildered. Seconds later, she threw her head back with a cry of agony. A flash of light forced me to cover my eyes. When I could see again, my Kami was gone, replaced by that look-alike from yesterday. "Kami?"

"You," she hissed, eyes narrowed. She raised a vicious looking blade and lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. "I'm going to kill you," she growled. She sounded like Kami, but something was off. She sounded _evil_.

I did not doubt what she said, but I could not fight her. If she really was my Kami, I did not want to risk harming her. "Kami! I am Dick Sandvich!"

At my name, she froze and her eyes lost their hatred. "You are…" Her voice was soft, and it sounded confused, scared, and somehow hopeful. It sounded like my Kami. Yes, Kami, it is me. It is your friend. Her eyes returned to their usual blue-green color. Yes, she was coming back!

My silent celebration was cut short as her eyes flashed and became purple again. _"Stupid!"_ she snarled in that evil voice.

"Kami, wait!"

"Little Kami isn't here right now, but her Shadow is," she sneered down at me, raising the blade again. I could do nothing to stop her. Kami was trapped somewhere in there. If I tried to defend myself, I might accidentally hurt her. I looked to Spyane and Warin for help, but were too stunned to do anything. I was on my own.

What sounded like an annoyed sigh came from the window. Kami's eyes flickered back to normal again and she looked away from me. Her eyes narrowed when she saw the figure at the window. She slowly got off me and approached the window, glaring daggers at the man. "Piss off, ya bloody piker!" He began laughing. "Catch me if ya can!"

"Christian Brutal Sniper," I heard Spyane whisper behind me.

Kami growled and sprang for the window. He went up and she went down. That was a two story drop! Kami could be very hurt! I ran to the window and looked down, expecting to see her body broken and bleeding on the sidewalk below. By some miracle, she was perfectly fine. She stood up, glanced around, and took off. "No," I said under my breath, watching my little Kami disappear into the desert night.

"I know you said it vas bad, but you did not tell me it vas zis bad," Warin joked lamely. I knew that he did not say it to make fun of what happened. He only said it to try to lighten tension that had settled over us.

Spyane seemed to miss that. "What is so funny about this to you? This is no laughing matter!"

"Did I say it vas?" Warin said defensively.

I ignored the argument that broke out behind me. I was too busy worrying about Kami. She really had become a monster. I did not like the idea of it, but what if she was willing to become whatever this 'Shadow' thing wanted her to be? She had always thought of herself as weak. What if she believed that following it was making her stronger?

I remembered the look in her eyes when I had said my name and immediately was ashamed of myself. How could I ever think that she wanted to become a killing machine? This was not by her choice; she was being forced into it. She needed help. I must find her.

I pushed past Warin and Spyane, effectively stopping their argument, and headed for the stairs. "And where do you think you're going?" Spyane snapped.

"I am going to find Kami."

She grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop. "Are you insane? She tried to kill you!"

I glanced at her. "That was not Kami," I said simply.

"'That was not Kami,'" she repeated in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

"No."

She gawked at me for a second. "How could it _not_ be her? We all saw what happened!"

I shrugged her hand off. "Was not Kami," I said again and started walking. I did not know how to explain it any better than that. It went beyond what 'Shadow' Kami said; I had _seen_ it was not the real Kami, and the real her had recognized it was me. She needed me _now_.

"Vait," Warin said.

I paused a moment and looked back at him. "Warin, I am going to find Kami. Please do not try to stop me," I said softly.

"I'm not," he replied. "I am going vith you."

I gave him a small but grateful smile. At least he was on my side. I looked at Spyane, silently asking her if she would join us.

She was staring at us like we were mad. "You mean to tell me that the two of you are going after an unpredictable and dangerous girl who's being targeted by an equally unpredictable and dangerous madman. Both of you are in way over your heads." She sighed and shook her head. "Someone's going to have to save your behinds. I'm coming, too."

"Very good!" I was overjoyed. I felt certain that I would be able to find Kami in no time with their help.

"Then let us go!" Warin cried, dashing down the stairs.

I grinned at Spyane. She merely sighed again. "What have I gotten myself into this time?" she muttered.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"_I knew that was him! That was Sandvich!"_ I mentally screamed at Shadow Kami. _"Why did you make me attack him?"_

"No, that was not him," she replied coolly. "Are you so stupid that you couldn't see he was the guy who wanted to kill you?"

Angrily, I rammed into her control and was quite satisfied when I felt the breakneck speed she was forcing me to run at falter. She was weakening. _"In case you didn't notice, that bastard was at the window and is, or at least should be, the one we're chasing right now."_

Shadow Kami didn't respond right away. Was she actually struggling to find a come back? Did I just win an argument? "How could you have seen a dead man? Now shut up and let me run. You're breaking my concentration," she finally snarled.

Just because I wasn't in control of my body didn't mean that I couldn't feel the torture it was being forced to go through. My already abused muscles shrieked in protest as they were forced to work even harder and faster than before. If I had actually won, I was certainly being punished for it now. I slammed into Shadow Kami's control with all my might. She was going to kill us if she kept this up.

"Quit it!" she grunted. "You're only going to make it worse for yourself." I felt her push my body even further. "I promise a little jog won't kill you. You simply have no idea what you're capable of. Would you like me to show you?" Mentally, I mewled and backed down. I really didn't want to see what else she could put me through. "That's what I thought," she replied with a smirk. I curled up somewhere in the back of my consciousness and waited for this whole ordeal to be over.

Hours later, we slowed. "I thought you might like a little reward for being such a good girl," Shadow Kami said sweetly. I bristled at being treated like this but did nothing for fear of being forced to run again. It was nearly dawn, which meant that I had been forced to run all night. No wonder I was completely exhausted. But she was nowhere near done with me yet. She kept me moving at a fast pace despite the fact that I was physically spent. Couldn't she feel the pain from drawing each ragged breath or from each body-jarring stride?

Suddenly she veered off course and spurred my body back into a sprint. _"What are you doing?"_ I asked weakly and fearfully. I couldn't take much more of this. I knew it.

"Can't you feel it? There's life this way," she replied hungrily.

Oh no. _"Wait, you're not going to…"_ I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Kill them? Maybe, maybe not. But I want to play. Don't you?"

I was too terrified to answer. She was going to make me kill again. I didn't want to. I could see a building ahead of us. I didn't want to hurt whoever lived there. I'm not a murderer! I began struggling against her control harder than I had ever before. I must've been giving her hell because we actually stopped moving all together as she fought to regain her dominance over me.

"Stay down!" she ordered, forcing me back into submission. "God, a girl can't get any work done without you sniveling and balking at every step." She clamped down on me, preventing me from trying to break free again. "I'll teach you to stay in your place later. Right now I want to have some fun."

"_Your idea of fun is absolutely sick,"_ I growled, testing her hold on me. It was tight, but not particularly strong. If I played my cards right, I might be able to free myself.

"It's your idea of fun too. We are one and the same, remember? Now shut up. We wouldn't want to alert our playmates of our presence yet, now would we?"

We silently scaled up the side of a building and made our way across the roof. Our eyes narrowed as we neatly perched on the edge of the roof. After a moment, we smacked the roof, drawing the attention of whoever was there. A man carrying a rifle stepped out into the yard and looked around, confused and wary. Shadow Kami giggled and we sprang just as the man turned around. We landed squarely on him. His surprised yelp only sharpened Shadow Kami's appetite.

At that exact moment, her attention was completely off of me. I took the opening and smashed into her control with everything I had left. It shattered like glass, leaving me free and completely drained. All I could do was slide off the man's chest and lie panting on the ground. He scrambled to his feet, clutching the rifle, but he didn't do anything else. He didn't even take aim at me, something I fully expected him to do. A younger man came up and stood beside the one Shadow Kami had forced me to attack. Both of them stared down at me, waiting to see what I did.

"Help me," I croaked. "Please…help me." I watched, terrified as to what their decision would be, as they exchanged glances. Then the man handed his rifle to the newcomer and knelt down beside me. His hand touched my shoulder just as I passed out.


	7. Chapter 6: Friendship and Deception

**Hello again. I was looking at my traffic list the other day, and I was thoroughly amazed. I had no idea that people from all over the world were reading this thing. That is seriously awesome! I hope all of you are enjoying it, and thank you so much for reading this!**

**Now, this will be the last chapter for a while again. This is the last one that I've had on stand-by and now I'll be going back to writing when I'm able to. **

**This one's based off of "Kami Meets…Wait What? (Again)," though it has some bits of "Kami's Final Descent" incorporated into it.**

**Disclaimer: Same drill. TF2 is Valve's, brief Bioshock reference is 2K's, Dic Soupcan is metabug's, and Soupcock Porkpie is UntouchedShadovv's. All other characters are shared between TheInvertedShadow and myself.**

**Chapter 6: Friendship and Deception**

_I found myself in a dark, dank corridor. The smell of death and decay burned my nostrils. I had to get out of here, but the brick corridor seemed to go on forever in both directions. The stench seemed to be getting stronger, as though its source was getting closer to me. Panicking, I ran without paying attention to which way I went. I just knew that I had to get away._

_Then from behind me, I heard Sandvich's voice. It was too soft to tell what he said, but I could tell it was him and he was in trouble. I immediately turned around and ran back the way I had come. I screwed up the last time he needed my help. I wasn't going to let that happen again._

_The corridor never ended and never split; it only turned. And then it dawned on me. I was in a labyrinth. Not the modern day "labyrinth" where it and a maze were the same thing, but the traditional kind that only had one path that led straight to the center. This both simplified things and made them harder. While I didn't have to worry about getting lost, I now had to worry whether or not I had chosen the right direction to go in the first place. I couldn't tell if I was getting closer to Sandvich or not because the labyrinth, like all labyrinths, was confusing and wove back and forth, getting closer to and farther from the center as they wanted. But whenever it got close enough for me to understand what Sandvich was saying, my heart was torn apart. He was angry at me. It sounded like he didn't want me anymore. He was blaming me for letting him die and then attacking him. _

_A little voice in the back of my mind began screaming at me, "How can that be possible? How can you attack someone who is dead? How can he not want you if he's dead?"_

_But I was too upset by what Sandvich was saying to pay this little voice any attention. "I'm sorry!" I yelled back, hoping he would hear me. "I never meant it to happen! It_ is_ my fault, and I'm willing to take the blame for it! Don't give up on me. Forgive me! Please forgive me!" I kept screaming my apologies long past the point where my throat became raw and painful. At last I lost my voice entirely._

_Finally I saw a doorway ahead of me. That must be where Sandvich was! As I burst into the room, Sandvich's voice vanished. At the far end was a person standing at a table, but it was too dark for me to see. And then a light appeared over them. It was the man who had been chasing me, and I could make out a figure lying on the table. I inched closer to see it was _me_._

"_What can I do with this one, Aphrodite? She won't stay STILL!" he cried, plunging two kukris into my body that was on the table, emphasizing his words. "I want to make them beautiful, but they always turn out wrong! This one, too fat!" He pointed to the body of Dick Sandvich, pinned to the wall by knives. "This one, too tall!" He pointed to the body of Spyane, hanging in the same position and manner as Sandvich. "This one, too symmetrical!" he sobbed, pointing to the body of the medic I thought I had seen when Shadow Kami forced me to attack my dearest friend. What the hell was this place?_

_He had continued to stab at my body through his tirade when he stopped abruptly. "What's this, goddess?" he breathed, turning around. His eyes bore into mine. I was frozen in terror. "An intruder? She is ugly. Ugly. Ugly! UGLY!" he screamed, flinging a kukri at my head. _

… … … … … … …

I woke up with a scream. Someone grabbed my shoulders and held me down. Terrified, I fought the hands. Who was trying to kill me now?

"Whoa, easy there!" The voice, male with a definite southern drawl, was both forceful and reassuring at the same time. I couldn't help but obey it. I looked up and was surprised to find the man I had attacked was leaning over me. "There ain't no one here that's gonna hurt ya, miss." I stopped struggling all together and watched him. I was still wary, but the tone he was using was very persuasive. "Now, I'm gonna let ya go. Promise not to panic like that again?" I slowly nodded, and he released me. I sat up, still keeping my eyes on him. I was still nervous. "Ya alright, miss?"

I wasn't sure. I was confused more than anything else right now. He didn't seem angry at me even though I – no, not me, Shadow Kami – tackled him. "I…I think so," I finally answered.

"That's good to hear. You gave us one heck of a scare. I thought we lost ya for a bit there. That is until ya started screamin' like the devil himself was after ya." He chuckled to himself for a moment before looking back at me with a grin. "But really, it's good to see ya awake."

"How long was I out for?"

"About half a day. Ya got a name?"

"I'm Kami."

"Well, Kami, the name's Dell. Dell Conagher," he said politely, touching the brim of his stetson. My jaw just about dropped. His right hand was robotic. Dell saw the look on my face and glanced at his hand. He sighed softly and lowered it. "Lost it to a brute of a man," he explained sadly. He nodded more to himself than to me, but then brightened again. "But we can trade war stories later. Ya hungry?" He offered me a thermos and, wonder upon wonders, a chocolate bar.

I took them, trying not to seem too eager. The chocolate I devoured on the spot, but I took a bit more time with whatever was in the thermos. I couldn't quite figure out what it was. Whatever it was, it was good and oddly left me feeling a lot calmer than I had been in what seemed like ages.

"Another satisfied customer," Dell said to himself as I finished. "Feelin' better?"

"Yes, thank you. But…aren't you mad at me?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. Shadow Kami had tried to kill him, so why was he helping me? Shouldn't he have assumed the attack was my doing?

"Now why would I be mad at ya?" he asked, placing his left hand on my shoulder. He sounded genuinely puzzled by my question.

"I…I kind of attacked you," I said.

"Ah."

"But I didn't mean to!" I added quickly. "In fact, it wasn't even me doing the attacking! I know it sounds impossible, but I swear I'm telling the truth!"

"Calm down. I believe you," he said, patting my shoulder.

I was surprised by this. What I had said sounded absurd to even me, and _I_ knew it was the truth. How could he just take my word like that? "You really believe me?"

He shrugged. "I had a hunch that ya didn't want to hurt anyone. And seein' ya now, I'm glad I listened to my hunch. But we can talk more about that later. Are ya ready to meet the rest of the gang?"

"Okay," I answered, sounding a lot more confident than I felt. I was a little nervous that they might not be as forgiving as Dell. They might want to take it out on me that he had been attacked. Then again, Dell seemed like the kind of guy who would stick up for me if things went sour. "Who else is here? What are they like?"

"Only two," he said, helping me get to my feet. I really didn't think I needed the help, but I accepted it anyways. It was nice to have found someone who wasn't trying to kill me. "Just my daughter and a…family friend. You and my girl will get along fine; it's the friend I'm worried about."

"Why?" I asked. That last statement made me a bit nervous. Was this friend a mean guy?

"Well, Jimmy's not a bad kid, just…excitable."

"Excitable?" I repeated. What was that supposed to mean?

Before Dell could answer, the door slammed open, causing me to jump a good foot and a half into the air. A familiar tall, skinny man strolled in as though nothing had happened. It took me a second to realize he was the one I had seen yesterday with Dell. "Yo, overalls! Is she up yet?" he said, his voice a bit louder than necessary in my opinion. The already huge grin on his face widened further when he saw me. "Oh, hey, look at dat! She is!" He suddenly came in close on me. "I'm Jimmy, da fastest thing around. What's your name, babe? Bet it's just as pretty as you are."

'Babe?' I couldn't believe it. Was this guy seriously trying to hit on me? Nervously, I edged closer to Dell, who in turn placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "See? Excitable," he muttered to me. "Jimmy, this is Kami –"

"Whaddya know? I was right! Of course, I'm always right." He rocked back onto his heels, looking quite pleased with himself for no apparent reason really.

"Yeah, keep that dream alive." A girl stepped out from behind him, nonchalantly smacking him in the head before turning her attention to me. She looked to be about my age and was wearing a face mask over her mouth and nose. Even so, from the gleam in her eyes I could tell that she was probably grinning at me. "Just ignore Jimmy; he's the resident moron."

Jimmy glared at the girl, rubbing the spot where she had hit him. "You're just jealous 'cause I'm payin' attention ta her and not ta you."

"Oh, get over yourself," she said, rolling her eyes.

"No, seriously. Ya like havin' me all ta yourself and now ya have some competition" Jimmy retorted. "And some nice lookin' competition at that," he added, eying me again, causing me to inch away a bit further.

"Would you grow up? Nobody's interested!" She raised her hand to hit him again.

"Alright, that's enough," Dell interrupted before things got too out of hand. The girl's arm immediately dropped to her side again and even Jimmy stopped ogling me. "Kami, this is my daughter, Alex," Dell said, motioning me to come closer. "Her bark is generally worse than her bite."

"Heh. Generally, not always," Alex said with a wink. "I'm glad to see you're okay. No offense, but I thought you were going to die for sure."

"Really?" I asked, a bit surprised even though Dell had kind of hinted at the same thing. "How bad was I?"

"You wouldn't wake up for anything and you were freezing no matter what we did to warm you up," she answered solemnly.

"Well, I had an idea, but they wouldn't let me try it, if ya know what I mean," Jimmy suddenly said, attempting to push past Alex to get closer to me.

"Alright, that's it!" Alex turned on him, eyes ablaze. "You may want to get out of here. _Now_."

"Dell, she's being mean again," Jimmy said nervously, backing away a step.

"You have three seconds. One."

"Ya know, she did give ya fair warning, but you just kept pushin'. You're on your own this time," Dell said with a small smirk.

"Two."

"B-but dat ain't fair!" Giving up on getting sympathy out of Dell, Jimmy turned to me desperately. "You're not gonna let her go after me, are ya? C'mon, help a guy out!"

"Three." Alex took two steps towards him. Jimmy let out a hysterical shriek and bolted out the door.

Father and daughter both started laughing. I didn't, still not entirely sure about what had just happened. Was Jimmy really this bad, or was it just an act? And would Alex really have hurt him practically with Dell's blessing, or were both of them just playing around?

Dell noticed my confused silence and slung an arm around my shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have let her break too many bones." My eyes widened, sending him into another round of laughter. "I'm kiddin'! I wouldn't really have let her get him."

"Heck, I'm not even sure that I could get to him in the first place," Alex added, still gasping for air. "Jimmy's an idiot, true, but he's not stupid enough to just stand there and take a beating."

"I'm gonna go see if I can find him. You two can stay here and, I don't know, bond or whatever you women do." He started to leave but paused at the door and looked back at me. "Oh, and welcome to the family, Kami."

"Thanks," I said, flashing him a smile. I waited until I felt that he was out of earshot before mumbling, "I think."

"Aw, I think you'll grow to like us," Alex said good-naturedly. "We're a strange lot, but a good one."

"Even Jimmy?"

"Even Jimmy. When he isn't being a cocky city-boy, he's a surprisingly nice guy. Too bad those instances are few and far between. Come on, I'll show you around. We can 'bond' later."

While there wasn't much to be shown, I was glad for the brief tour. The place seemed like it was originally meant to be used as a barn and the trio had just stumbled across it and decided to make it their home. But the tour really just gave me some time to mull over things. I really liked Dell and his easy-going personality. I could see why Dell was so patient; you had to be if Alex and Jimmy were like this on a regular basis. But that steadiness was definitely what I needed after everything that I had been through.

Jimmy kind of freaked me out a bit, and it was beyond just the fact that he was way too hyper. He was just…overbearing. I couldn't understand why he just bee-lined to me like that. There was certainly nothing subtle about him, that was for sure. And from what I could pick up, when he and Alex weren't arguing, he went after her the same way he had gone after me. I was genuinely astounded by him. What was his deal? Did he hit on every girl he came across?

But it was Alex who made me the most nervous. For all her friendliness, Alex definitely gave off a tomboy, don't-mess-with-me attitude. It did set me slightly on edge, especially since it was her father my Shadow had attacked. I was practically waiting for her to turn on me and beat me into a bloody pulp. I really wouldn't put it past her, and honestly, I really wouldn't blame her either. I know if someone tried to hurt my family, I wouldn't hesitate to do some damage of my own.

We ended up sitting on the steps of the porch, waiting for Dell to return with Jimmy. "Dad's probably scolding him for spooking you," Alex said with a shrug.

We feel into a slightly uncomfortable silence. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. It might make her angry, but I had to say something. "I'm sorry about what happened to your dad. You have to believe me; I didn't want to hurt him." Alex's eyes darkened and she grunted something inaudible in response. I pressed further. "I swear to you, I wasn't acting by my choice." I paused but didn't get any response. This made me mad. "Well? Say something! I won't blame you if you hate me –"

"I did hate you," she suddenly said in a dangerously low tone. "When I first found out what you did, I hated you. I was ready to leave you outside to die, but Dad refused to let that happen. He said we didn't know the whole story and so we couldn't judge you. Jimmy was infatuated the second he saw you, so he was fine with doing what Dad said. But I wasn't ready to forgive you. No one hurts my family and gets away with it." She sighed and looked down before continuing. "We took shifts watching over you as you slept and/or recovered. I really didn't want to, but I didn't want to make Dad mad either. I know he doesn't seem like it, but he gets scary when he's angry. So I begrudgingly did as I was told. But you kept talking in your sleep. Most of the time I couldn't understand what you said, but then you'd start apologizing and begging for forgiveness, and you cried so hard sometimes. And then…I couldn't hate you anymore." She slowly raised her eyes to meet mine again. "Who were you apologizing to?"

It was my turn to look away. "A…a very close friend of mine that I let down."

She scooted closer to me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "What happened?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "I know it sounds weird, but I'm really not sure anymore. It's kind of hard to explain."

"Hey, look who I found," came Dell's voice as he rounded the corner of the building with Jimmy in tow. "So how have you two been gettin' along without us?"

"Fine," Alex answered for me, returning to her tomboy persona. "You got back just in time. Kami was just about to share her story, weren't you?" she said, looking at me with an innocent grin. She had just nicely backed me into a corner. Now I would have to talk whether I wanted to or not. Granted, I was going to tell them anyways, but I had wanted to wait until I figured out how to say it. Now I had three sets of eyes staring at me expectantly.

I sighed. It had just occurred to me now just how convoluted my story was. "For you to understand why I…did what I did, you need to know the whole story. And I'm going to warn you now, it's long and weird."

"Hey, we got all da time in da world," Jimmy said, happy as ever.

"Fine. I was a journalist and I put on assignment out here…a while ago. I don't remember when anymore. It was at the very least a month. Needless to say, I got lost. But I managed to find a friend and a place to stay." I didn't mention Sandvich's name. I'm not sure why, but I didn't want to. "But then we became the targets of some cruel people, and they…" I buried my face in my hands as the sadness and the guilt washed over me again. "They killed him. He died to protect me. It's all my fault. I should've done something. I should've run or pushed him out of the way of the bullet or _something_ other than just sitting there!" I struggled to keep from crying. Alex's hand tightened apologetically before leaving my shoulder.

"It ain't your fault," Dell told me gently. "Ya couldn't have stopped a bullet."

I felt someone hug me, and when I looked up I was surprised to find that it was Jimmy. It didn't seem like he was hugging me just to get close to me; he genuinely looked concerned about me. In all honesty, I didn't care who it was, I was just glad for the comfort. "Oh man…I didn't know. Were ya close?"

"Very," I sniffled. "That was only a few days ago. I miss him so much."

"I can imagine," Dell said, placing a hand on my back.

"Look, I feel for you, but what does this have to do with why you attacked my father?"

"Alex!"

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I just don't see the connection!"

"It's fine," I interrupted, hoping to stop a fight before it started. "It's a perfectly fine question. Just give me a second to figure out how to answer it. I don't really understand how it all works myself." I took several deep breaths to calm myself and lightly pushed Jimmy away from me. "I…I kept having these terrible nightmares about this…thing. She claimed to be my anger, hate, and guilt…What she believed was the real me. She refers to herself as my Shadow. I had managed to ignore her up until my friend was killed, probably because he was somehow helping me to control her. But once he died, she became stronger. Now she's found a way to take over my physical self, and I can't stop her. That's why I attacked Dell without it actually being _me_ doing the attacking. She was in the driver's seat, not me."

I watched Dell and Alex exchange glances while Jimmy just stared at me. "So…what? You're like the Hulk or somethin'? OW! Why does everyone always hit me? I was just wonderin' if dere was anythin' dat triggered her ta go nuts."

"There's no trigger that I can figure out," I said, hoping to head off a fight before one started. "It just seems to happen whenever she feels like it. But just before it happens, I get this headache, and I think she's causing me to hallucinate too, but I'm not sure. It seems so real whenever it happens. It's so real that I didn't even realize it was a possibility until recently. And this is where things get really confusing. I'm still being pursued by the guy who had my friend killed and –"

Dell suddenly stopped me. "Hang on, Kami. I do want to hear the rest of this, but tell me about this person who's after ya. Did he want your friend dead for any reason? A long standin' grudge maybe?"

I shook my head. "No. It's almost as if he was just trying to get to me, maybe even test me somehow."

I saw Alex's eyes just about bug out of her head, but Dell stopped her from saying anything. "Can ya tell me anythin' else about him?"

"He's clearly a madman and he's absolutely vicious. He attacked one of his henchmen for trying to kill me only to promise to murder me himself. And instead of killing me on the spot, he let me go and told me it would be more fun to hunt me down. It's like he's playing some horrible game of cat-and-mouse."

Alex lost it. "Dad, it's _him_! You know it and I know it. _He's_ after her!"

"Alex, calm down. Getting' worked up won't help anyone," Dell said despite the fact that he looked uneasy too.

I was confused and getting scared as well. "What is it? Who's after me?"

"The same man who did this to me," Dell said bitterly, holding up his robotic hand. "Christian Brutal Sniper. He targeted Alex and myself just for the fun of it. Neither of us got out unscathed, but at least we made it out alive." My eyes flicked to the face mask Alex wore. I could only guess as to what had happened. I glanced at Jimmy to see what his reaction was. He was just staring at the ground with an expression I couldn't read.

I was truly terrified. Would they throw me out to keep themselves safe? I wouldn't blame them if they did, but then I would surely die. I knew I couldn't take on this psychopath on by myself, even with Shadow Kami's "help."

"Dad, what are we going to do?" Alex asked, sounding almost as afraid as I felt.

"Well, I'll tell you what we _won't_ do. We _won't_ leave her to face him on her own." I looked up at Dell in amazement. He was still going to help me even though he'd then drag this Christian Brutal Sniper's attention to himself and the others? From the looks on their faces, both Alex and Jimmy were having the same thought. Dell's tone suddenly became very stern, something that really caught me off guard. Up until now he had been using such a kindly voice. Now he was actually a little scary. "Kami stays with us, and if he strikes, we all fight. Is that clear?"

Alex fidgeted nervously and even the overconfident Jimmy returned his gaze to the ground. In fact, he almost behaved as though he was guilty of something. "Fine," Alex finally said, even though she was still clearly afraid. Jimmy did nothing more than nod.

Dell sighed but nodded. "Good." He knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I promise; we'll do our best to help you, but you've gotta be willin' to help yourself as well. Understood?"

I knew what he was getting at. I was expected to fight as well, and I was fine with it. As scared as I was, I was tired of running. Besides, I didn't like the idea of using my new friends as bodyguards. I was already planning on fighting back the next time I saw Christian Brutal Sniper, assuming he didn't see me first. I suppressed a shiver and gazed as levelly as I could into Dell's eyes, or rather, goggles. "I understand. Thank you, all of you, for not leaving me to my own defenses."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Dell said. "Now, what was it you were sayin'? You've been havin' hallucinations?"

I sighed. "I don't know how to explain this. I still have no idea how this works. I…I saw my friend. He was still alive. But then Shadow Kami convinced me that it was Christian Brutal Sniper, and then took over and forced me to attack. But when he spoke, it was still the voice of my friend. Deep inside, I knew it was him. And then I saw what I assumed to be the real Sniper at the window and managed to regain enough control to go after that one instead."

"Is that why you attacked Dad? This Shadow thing made you think he was Christian Brutal Sniper?" Alex asked.

"Unfortunately, no. Even though I managed to change her target, I still wasn't free from her control, and so she forced me to attack Dell. I don't know if she was trying to get back at me or if she was doing it just for 'fun.'" I cradled my head in my hands. "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared of accidentally hurting people but I terrified of being alone, I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore, and I…I-I just…"

I felt hands on my shoulders; one warm and calloused, the other cool and hard. Dell's hands. I fell silent, allowing myself to be steadied by the contact. There was something about it that was almost as soothing as one of Sandvich's hugs. "Kami, we ain't gonna leave ya alone. Remember when I said 'welcome to the family?' I meant it. Whether ya like it or not, you're stuck with us now. Got it?"

I somehow got a hold of myself and looked up into his face. He was grinning, and I couldn't stop myself from returning it. "Got it."

I spent the rest of the evening mostly adjusting to being a part of a group. For a month, it had just been Sandvich and myself, and then I had spent the last few days completely on my own. I really wasn't used to being around people. Three people doesn't sound like many, but to me, it was a crowd. Then again, Jimmy all by himself was a bit of a handful. Thankfully both Dell and Alex were willing to act as buffers for me so I didn't have to take the full brunt of his enthusiasm by myself.

That night found me standing in the center of what was now my room, just thinking about the day's events. I felt like I had been adopted. I was a part of a family, and that was something I was very happy about. Dell was already a father figure to me, and I was more than happy to see Alex as a sister. Now I just had to figure out where Jimmy stood. There was no way he could replace Sandvich, especially if there was that slim possibility my love was still alive. I would be more than happy to accept him as a brother, but all of Jimmy's flirting really unnerved me. It reminded me too much of some of my past relationships. He was just too pushy.

There was a knock at the door. I looked up to find Jimmy himself standing awkwardly at it. "Hey, uh, can I come in?" he asked, sounding rather unlike his usual boisterous self.

I waved him in. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked, a little confused by the sudden change in behavior.

"Yeah, kinda," he said with a shrug. An awkward silence fell over us. "I was dere," he suddenly said catching me off guard.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I was dere when Dell and Alex were attacked. I was too scared ta help 'em, so I hid, but I couldn't stop watchin'. I shoulda done somethin'. Maybe den dey wouldn't have been…" He broke off and it looked like he was trying not to cry. He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes. "I swear, I ain't gonna let dat happen t'ya. I'm not gonna run away next time." He moved to pull me into a hug, and I let him. I could feel his body spasm as he choked back tears. "It's my fault dey got hurt. I ain't gonna make da same mistake twice." Slowly, I hugged him back, albeit somewhat awkwardly considering he was a fair bit taller than me, trying to give him as comfort as I could. Looks like all his flirting and tough-guy exterior really were just acts.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," he said but didn't let go. "I'm sorry 'bout how I treated ya before. I just can't resist a pretty face." I grimaced but decided to let this one slide.

At last Jimmy pulled away. "I really am sorry ya lost your friend. How…ah…close were ya?"

I hesitated. Did I really want to say that I had been in love out loud? It was one thing to tell Sandvich I loved him, it was completely different to say it to someone else, especially one I hadn't even known for a day. "We were…um…"

"An item?" he suggested.

"Yeah," I admitted, feeling my cheeks grow warm.

"Oh." Jimmy looked completely crestfallen. "So I guess dat means…ya wouldn't be, ya know, interested?"

I shook my head. "Especially if there's a possibility that he's still alive," I added.

"Well, at least you're loyal," he said, still clearly disappointed.

"If it helps at all, I still think you're a nice person."

Jimmy gave me a lopsided grin. "Ya ain't so bad yourself," he said, giving my arm a gentle punch. "Well, g'night, Kami."

"Good night, Jimmy." I watched him leave, smiling to myself.

Jimmy paused in the doorway. "Oh, and I'll be seein' ya in my dreams tonight, babe," he said with a wink. I rolled my eyes. Jimmy just laughed. "Sorry. Old habits die hard."

"Get out of here," I said, allowing myself to laugh as well. I decided that from now on I would just ignore what he said. Jimmy was harmless, and I had to admit that he was a pretty good guy in the end.

I lay back in bed and stared at the ceiling and sighed. Alex was right; I could definitely learn to love them. In fact, I think I already did. It certainly wasn't a perfect substitute for Sandvich and 2fort, but I think I'll like being here a lot.

Sandvich…What if he was still alive? Was he mad at how Shadow Kami made me attack him? What if he didn't want me anymore? Or worse, what if he thought _I _didn't want _him_ anymore? If he was still out there, I had to find him somehow. But I knew I couldn't do it alone. I was too scared to go out there on my own. Maybe Dell and the others would be willing to help me. I rolled over and curled up miserably, feeling the cold ball of loneliness reforming in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to be with Sandvich so badly. "Good night, Sandvich," I whispered to the empty room before falling into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Where are you, Kami?" I muttered to myself, staring into the fire. We had been searching for her all day, but had not seen any sign of her. It was as though she had just vanished off the earth. I was confused as to why Spyane had not just teleported us to where she was immediately. When I questioned her, she told me that she could not because she did not know where Kami was. The last time had been a lucky guess, and it would be too tiring for her to continuously move all of us around. So we instead had to rely on Warin's truck. This was far too slow for my liking, but it was at least faster than going on foot.

I felt someone sit down beside me. I glanced up to see it was only Warin. Spyane had vanished when we decided to stop for the night. I did not know why, and it really did not matter to me either. I only cared about finding Kami.

"I am amazed by you, mein Freund. Since vhen do you let ozhers help you?" Warin said after a long time.

"Since Kami got in trouble," I answered. "I will do whatever needed to find her."

"So you have said before," he said with a slight chuckle. "Tell me, vhat makes zhis Fräulein so special?"

I looked up at him suspiciously. I could tell he was playing at something, but I could not tell what. "I love her."

Warin raised an eyebrow. "You love her? Vhy?"

I shrugged. "She loves me. She is good girl. More than good…she is…wonderful."

Warin studied me. "I have never heard you speak so fondly of someone. You have not…done anyzhing to her?"

"Never," I answered sharply, though I did not get angry with him. He knew I had not been the kindest person to strangers. It was only natural for him to assume that I may have treated Kami the same way.

Warin stared at me for a moment longer before a grin spread across his face. "I do not believe it. You, zhe man who told me nonstop from zhe day ve met zhat you needed no one, are in love and zhe Fräulein loves you back. She has changed you." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Zhis is a vunderbar zhing zhat has happened. I am truly happy for you." He stretched and stood. "I am going to turn in for zhe night. You should do zhe same. I am certain ve vill find Kami tomorrow. Gute Nacht, Herr Sandvich."

I managed to give him a weary smile. It made my heart ache to even think of Kami, yet she was the _only_ thing I could think about. I missed my little girl dearly. I looked up at the sky and sighed. Where was Kami? I hoped she was safe wherever she was. But what would happen when I found her? Would she still be under the control of that evil thing? How could I free her from it? I hoped Warin was right. Little Kami needed me, and the sooner I found her, the better.

I felt someone watching me. I clenched my fists, ready to knock whoever it was out, and turned to see Spyane appear a few yards away from me. I relaxed a little bit. It unnerved me the way she just came and went like that. "How long have you been there?" I asked, trying not to sound accusatory. I had the feeling that she had been there listening in on my conversation with Warin.

"Long enough," she replied. I grunted, annoyed by her evasive response. Spyane regarded me with an almost sad expression. "I can understand what you are going through. I lost someone very close to my heart, too," she said after a moment. I blinked, surprised and a little confused by what she said. What had happened to her that could be compared to what I was going through now? I waited for her to continue, but instead she shook her head and looked up at the stars. "I'm sure that Kami is fine," she said, clearly wanting to shift the topic away from herself.

"Da, she has probably found safe place for the night," I said, a little annoyed that Spyane had stopped her story before she even started it. I would have liked to know what had happened. Still, I did not push the matter. I looked up at the sky as well, remembering how Kami and I would stargaze on nice nights. I longed to do that again.

Spyane sighed and sat down next to me. I did not like this at all. The only person I wanted or even allowed to be this close to me was Kami; no one else was welcome. Normally I would simply pound whoever invaded my personal space into the ground, but I still felt some form of gratitude towards her for helping me. I inched away from Spyane, doing my best to keep myself under control. "I feel that I am responsible for all of this. I am sorry," she said, oblivious to my restlessness. "If I had been able to fight Sniper and that Spy's control on my own, none of this would have happened."

Now I was really at a loss. There was a part of me that would have been very happy to blame it all on her, but again, I felt bad for her somehow. This confused me. I do not care about other people, so why did I suddenly care about Spyane? Was Warin right when he said Kami had changed me? I do not know why, but this thought made me uncomfortable. I looked around in hopes of finding some way to get out of this. Instead I found Warin watching me intently. The medic was curious as to what I would do now. I looked down at Spyane who now sat with her head bowed. It did not look like she was crying, just upset. I looked back up at Warin, who nodded to me, encouraging me to do something. I returned my gaze to Spyane. I could just get up and leave, but that would look like I was running away like I was scared, which I was not. I raised my hand, hesitated, and patted her back. I did not say anything in case she actually thought I liked her, because I did not. I do not like anyone other than Warin and Kami…I think.

Spyane raised her head to look at me with a small smile. "Thank you, my friend," she said. I stiffened. 'Friend?' She was not my friend. But she was not my enemy either. So what was she? This was beginning to make my head hurt. I glanced at Warin, who grinned and gave me a thumbs-up. Clearly he thought what I had done was good. I was not so sure. It is not in my nature to be kind to others. I lowered my gaze back to Spyane. She was still smiling at me. After a moment, I managed to return it uncertainly before quickly getting up and walking away. I was too confused to even attempt to deal with this any longer.

"Vell done, "Warin whispered as I passed him. I only grunted in response and continued walking. I just wanted to be left alone.

I sighed as I sat down a short distance from our campsite. It was cold without the heat from the fire, but it did not bother me much, not the way it bothered Kami. That was another reason I liked stargazing with her. She would start looking for warmth before we were even halfway done, which made for a good excuse to hold her close against me. I searched the stars for the flower shape she had found. At last I did, and because the little girl was not with me to talk to, I spoke to it. I know it was a foolish thought, but I hoped that somehow she would hear me. "Kami…I am sorry that I could not find you today. But I will find you tomorrow. And when I find you, I will never let you go again. I promise, little Kami. I promise."

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I quite liked being with Dell, Alex, and Jimmy. It was interesting to watch the father and daughter work on those machines. Dell's great grandfather must have been some sort of genius to come up with these contraptions, and Dell and Alex certainly took after him. He had offered to teach me as well, but I politely declined. I'm not too bad when it comes to building things – I didn't take shop in high school for nothing – but my mind was thoroughly boggled by the things they were making. The sentry was easy enough, but I couldn't figure out how the teleporter or the dispenser were supposed to work. I was perfectly happy just watching them from afar.

Jimmy would come and go as he pleased. He said that he had lots of other stuff that he had to take care of, but he certainly made plenty of time to flirt with me. Actually, it wasn't too bad. He did back off a little bit since my heart still belonged to Sandvich, but that didn't stop him entirely. But pretty soon, he got tired of that and attempted to get me to play some baseball with him. I…tried to. I was never very good at sports. He had a wonderful time laughing at my lame attempts to pitch. He could have at least appreciated that I was able to throw the ball in a straight line each time as opposed to sending it all over the place. But he still picked on me for not being able to throw any fast balls. That is until I got mad. I knew I was no good; he didn't need to rub it in. I finally got fed up and winged the ball at him. Alex looked up just in time to see him get brained. I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to decide if I felt bad for him or if I wanted to laugh at him. Alex clearly had no problem with the second option and just about collapsed into a fit of hysterics. Even Dell looked like he was struggling to keep from laughing.

"I am _so_ _sorry_," I said to Jimmy, still fighting to keep myself under control. "I did not mean to do that, I swear."

"Yes, you did!" Alex called out to me, still on the ground laughing. "And it was brilliant!"

"She's right; you aimed dat one at me!" Jimmy pouted and glared at me.

"I promise you, I didn't," I said, hearing a giggle slip out.

"I think she's tellin' ya the truth, boy," Dell called. "I also think ya had that one comin' to ya. You've had that poor girl on the runaround all day. 'Bout time she got some revenge."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Jimmy huffed and stormed off.

"I really didn't mean to hit him," I told Dell as I walked over to him and Alex.

Dell's grin widened further. "I know ya didn't. But I'm guessin' that it did feel a bit good?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah," I finally admitted, hoping I wasn't smiling too much.

"I knew I liked you for a reason," Alex gasped from the ground, still desperately trying to stop laughing.

"But I swear, I wasn't aiming at him," I choked out.

"Consider it a literal Freudian Slip," Alex said with a straight face. There was a moment of silence before the two of us burst into a fit of giggles.

It took me a minute to regain some form of composure. "Is he going to be okay? I mean, he's not _really_ angry at me, is he?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. It's just his pride that ya hurt. Don't worry about him," Dell assured me.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should go find him and apologize…" Now I actually felt a little guilty for what I had done.

"Oh, quit being so nice," Alex said, finally getting to her feet. "He deserved to be knocked off his high horse…literally."

"Nah, may as well go after him," Dell said. "It's gettin' late. We should be headin' inside anyway."

I gave him and the still sniggering Alex a hand with cleaning things up before following them inside, pausing to pick up the baseball that Jimmy had left behind. I left them behind in their – or perhaps our, since I did seem to be a part of the family now – equivalent of a garage to see if I could find Jimmy. I wanted to talk to him alone. I had a feeling that if Alex was there it would only make things worse. I found him sprawled out on the couch, staring at the ceiling. "Hey," I said.

"Hey." He turned his head to look at me. He didn't seem too angry, but it didn't seem like he had forgiven me either.

"Think fast," I said, gently throwing the ball to him. He caught it easily but didn't say anything. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened outside, but I really didn't mean to hit you."

He sighed and looked back at the ceiling. "Yeah, I know. Dell's right. I shouldn'ta picked on ya so much." He paused before looking back at me. "By da way, ya throw like a girl," he said, tossing the ball back to me.

I fumbled to catch it. "Not much of an insult, considering I am a girl," I answered. He shot me a grin, and I returned it. I knew that this was as much of an apology as I was going to get, and that was fine with me. I was just glad that he wasn't going to hold a grudge against me. "Want to go join Dell and Alex?"

"Yep, might as well," he answered as he got up. He slung an arm around my shoulders. "Ya know, I really do like ya." He gave me what he must have thought was a charming smile.

"Still taken," I told him.

"Crap. Well, ya can't blame a guy for tryin'," he sighed. "Whoever ya got is one lucky fella. Ta be so loyal ta him with a guy as handsome as myself around has gotta be tough for ya."

"Yeah, right," I answered, pulling away from him. He laughed, not upset at all.

We found Dell and Alex discussing or perhaps arguing over…something. Neither Jimmy nor I had a clue as to what they were talking about or what any of the terms they were using meant. In the end we just sat back to watch the show.

We didn't get to enjoy it for too long as it got interrupted by a very drunken man stumbling into the garage. He was muttering about something, but it was extremely hard to understand. The best I could make out was something to the effect of, "…yer arses ass and I'm the grass man, punk yeah ya havin' heathen…any of you think yer better 'n me you're not a thing...gonna kill you and I'm keep killin' you and I never, cause you're be dead and then I'm gonna kill you…" And that was all I could understand. The rest of it was simply incoherent weeping until he suddenly fell to the floor. I'm pretty sure I heard something snap.

"What in Sam Hill…?" I heard Dell mutter. Glancing over at him, I noticed that his arm was held out protectively in front of a wide-eyed Alex and Jimmy.

"I'm guessing that he's not one of your friends, huh?" I asked, feeling a little bewildered by what just happened.

"Gee, whaddya think?" Jimmy asked, though his voice seemed to be lacking its usual bravado.

Nervously, I edged closer to the passed out man, ignoring the hiss from Dell to stay away from him. I nudged his hand with my foot, which got a soft groan out of him. "Hey, are you okay? Need any help?" I asked.

Suddenly his head snapped up, and he looked mad. "No! I don't need any help from a wee lass like you!" he snapped before getting to his feet faster than I would've expected a man clearly as drunk as this could, though he did stagger before getting somewhat firm footing. "I'm Dic Soupcan," he said with a laugh, all former anger forgotten. He held out his bottle to me. "Scrumpy?" he asked, offering me a sip of the stuff.

"What? No way, she doesn't want any of dat crap!" Jimmy practically shouted.

"Um, no, thank you," I declined as politely as I could before feeling Dell's hand on my shoulder, pulling me back.

"Are you outta your mind?" he hissed.

"No, it's just in my nature to be nice," I answered.

"No kidding," I heard Alex quip under her breath.

Dick Soupcan just shrugged. "Suit yerself," he slurred. "Means more fer me." With that, he downed the rest and immediately passed out. The bottle rolled out of his hand and rolled to my feet.

I knelt down and picked up the bottle. "What is this stuff?" I asked, taking a sniff. Bad idea. Whatever it was, it was potent.

"Well you're taking the appearance and passing out of a drunk madman pretty well," I heard Alex quip.

"Well, I guess that while that did kind of weird me out, I've met worse. Much, much worse," I said, grimacing at the memories of Rabic and Pystrich. "I guess I just sort of got used to it – Ahh!"

I let out a terrified yelp and dropped the bottle as a head – I kid you not – a _head _came out of it. Dell immediately pulled me back into the safety of the huddle as the rest of a man somehow managed to come out of the bottle. His eyes were focused on me and he grinned. "I'm Soupcock Porkpie," he said and pointed at me. "I'm gonna glue you."

"Oh, please don't," I squeaked, scared out of my mind. This was definitely freaking me out!

"'Kay, this does not look good here, um…" Jimmy said and suddenly his arms wrapped around me and pulled me back, though I'm unsure if he was trying to protect me or hide behind me.

Dell moved in front of us, ready to defend his family. But before he could do anything, a bladed instrument, something that looked like a rather vicious and bloodstained bone saw, burrowed into Soupcock Porkpie's head, most likely killing him judging by the sounds he made and how quickly he dropped to the floor. I looked in the direction the weapon had come from to see a doctor, Spyane, and…no…I couldn't be…Sandvich?

"Good shot!" Sandvich praised the doctor. It certainly sounded like him, but…it couldn't really be him…could it?

Dell got in front of me, holding up a shotgun. The other two stood on either side of him, Jimmy with a pistol and Alex with a wrench, creating a wall between me that them. "Y'all may wanna get outta here now," Dell growled, threatening them.

But Sandvich and the other two just grinned. A few well aimed shots disarmed my protectors, much to their surprise. "I was told we would be fighting men!" Sandvich laughed at their shock. His eyes locked on me, and I saw his lips form the word 'Kami' before he returned his attention back to Dell, Alex, and Jimmy.

"Now see here. You ain't gonna lay one hand on that girl," Dell snapped, drawing himself up to his full height. His anger made him seem formidable, but compared to the giant Russian, he looked so small.

I was so shocked that I couldn't move to stop the fight that was about to break out. My mind was whirling with questions. Could that really be Sandvich? Was what my Shadow telling me all just a lie? What was Spyane doing at his side?

A thud, drew my attention away from the scene that was unfolding before me. I looked over to find Christian Brutal Sniper lying on the floor. He sat up, and the angry frown on his face was replaced by a sadistic smile. "Alright! I finally gotcha cornered!" he laughed. I couldn't stop the shriek of terror that came out of me. "Ready ta meet Sharpie?" he asked in a sickeningly happy voice, holding up what had to be the most horrifying kukri I have ever seen.

I felt something appear beside me and glanced over to find Weaselcake had teleported to my side. He inflated and turned blue, Latching onto the kukri and pulling it out of Sniper's hands. The man blinked in confusion before Weaselcake forced the kukri into my attacker's head.

I heard the click of a pistol and Sniper turned towards the sound only to get a bullet through the head. I turned to see who had fired the shot. But suddenly my vision clouded and all I could focus of was the gun. That was the gun that had put a bullet into my lover's head. That was the thing that had killed him. All of this was that gun's fault…and it belong to Spyane…so it was her fault!

"_That's right, little Kami," _hissed a cruel voice, one that I knew I should ignore, but I was so angry right now. _"Yes, you are very angry…So? Use it to your advantage! KILL HER!" _Shadow Kami's voice screamed at me as she attempted to take over. But I remembered what happening last time. I had almost hurt some very good people who were now my friends. Though I knew with her help I could easily take down Christian Brutal Sniper, I fought her to protect my friends. _"No, give in to me!"_ she howled at me. My bones cracked and I fell to the floor. I clutched my head as I tried to fight this dark side of me off.

"Kami! No!" I heard _his_ voice. And this time, there was no doubt in my mind that he was alive. My head snapped up and I looked into the face of my lover. He could save me from this nightmare! He was the only one who could! My mind replayed the moment when Shadow Kami had forced me to attack him, and the anguish of what I had done washed over me. I had attacked the real him!

In that moment of my true horror and despair, I felt the familiar cold hatred swell within me. _"Yes, give in to your pain! Give in to me!"_ my Shadow crowed as she slammed down on me, forcing me to scream in terror and agony as I felt myself getting torn away by her. My anguish doubled as I realized I had failed. I had lost control, and now they would have to suffer for it!

"_Let the games begin."_

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

No! I had been too late! Kami had turned into that terrible monster now, and there was nothing I could do about it. It fixed us with a glare full of cold hatred and fury. "I am going to saw through your bones!" the monster snarled, calling the sword to its hands. She grinned and giggled in delight, knowing full well itself that Kami would not be able to fight back. I stood frozen, unsure of what to do. I could not fight it for fear that I might harm the real Kami who was trapped in there. The monster's eyes narrowed as though she was trying to pick out which one of us to kill first.

But Weaselcake, who was still floating behind it, suddenly vomited on it, and disgusted look crossed the creature's face as it froze and dropped the sword in shock. Its horror did not last long, and it whirled around with a snarl and pounced on Weaselcake, pinning him to the floor.

I heard the ominous chuckle and looked over to see the Christian Brutal Sniper was reaching for the sword. Certain that Kami was still trapped inside that monster and knowing that Sniper would kill her, I jumped at him and knocked him aside.

"Prepare to die," the monster growled and I looked up in time to see it raise a hand, most likely to summon a new weapon. But before it could, Weaselcake inflated and knocked it off. It rolled into a crouching position and sat there snarling its anger, looking like a panther ready to attack the next person that came near it. I had no doubt that it would.

The three people that had stood between Kami and me, Spyane, and Warin now had their weapons drawn ready to attack the monster. But Kami was still in there, and if they attacked it, she might get hurt or killed in the process! But the thing stared at them hungrily, a new gleam entering its eyes. "Look how willing they are to die," it hissed, ready for the fight. I had to stop this! But how could I do that without hurting Kami?

I picked up Kami's sword. "Kami! Look at me!" I yelled, hoping that maybe if she saw me she would be able to break out of the monster's control and would come back. It had almost happened last time, and she had almost been able to fight its control this time when she saw me.

The monster turned to face me, but there was no flicker of recognition or love in its eyes; just cold undying hatred. My heart fell. Kami was not in there, only this beast. It moved to lunge at me and I threw the sword, hitting it square in the chest. It screamed and fell back, but still remained on its knees. Angrily it pulled the sword out of its chest and fixed me in its glare again. But then it blinked and a pained look came across its face as its eyes turned a familiar shade of blue-green. Oh no…what have I done? It fell forward onto its chest and lay still as it transformed back into my poor little Kami.

I scrambled to her side. "Kami!" I cried but did not touch her for fear that I might make it worse. "No, Kami, I am sorry! Get up! You must get up!"

Suddenly her sword, which was laying on the ground beside us, rose up into the air and hovered over her as though it was going to impale her. I was about to knock it aside when a shot from Spyane sent it flying. "I think not," she hissed at it.

Before I could thank her, Christian Brutal Sniper and the Red Spy appeared on either side of my poor Kami, both laughing.

"Sorry to pop in unannounced," the Red Spy chuckled.

"We'll just be takin' the little lady, seein' as how you don't want her. You did attack her," Sniper added with a twisted grin. "See ya!"

I lunged at them but before I could save Kami, they vanished, taking my poor girl with them. I roared my rage and anguish and pounded the floor where they had sat only a second ago. I had failed Kami again! Why could I not keep her safe with me? My gaze drifted over to the still blood-covered sword. "Christian Brutal Sniper was right; I did attack her…

No…I hadn't. I had attack the monster that kept possessing her, and I had done it to save the others. I picked the sword up and stood slowly to facie them. Spyane and Warin, my friends, and these new three. I did not know them, and I had not liked the way the little man had grabbed my Kami, but they had tried to protect her. They were on her side, so now they were on mine. "We must stop Sniper," I told them forcefully. "I need Kami!"

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I sat up, clutching my still throbbing head. What the hell happened? After Shadow Kami had taken over, I couldn't remember anything else except for a sharp pain through my chest which was what had shattered her control. I looked down at myself, expecting to see blood or something sticking out of me but found nothing.

But then the ground caught my eye. Not something on the ground, but the ground itself. It was asphalt with yellow lines painted on it. _A road_. I looked up to find myself standing on a cul-de-sac surrounded by very tall buildings. I knew this place. I had never thought I'd see it again, and honestly a part of me had hoped that I never would. It had somehow ended up in the city. But how and why? Where was Sandvich? I had seen him, right? Why wasn't I with him?

A low chuckle brought me out of my thoughts. Shadow Kami was standing before me, smiling cruelly. _"Look. We're finally home,"_ she said.

"No…No! This isn't my home anymore! Take me back!" I ordered, both angry and frightened.

"_Tsk, don't take that tone with me. And I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do that, sweetheart. This is our home, and we're going to stay here…Forever!"_ She threw her head back and laughed.

Anguish flooded through me and I ran. I was going to find a way out of here! I was going to go to my real home, where Sandvich would be waiting for me, and when I got there he'd scoop me up into his arms and make all of the bad things go away, and then it would just be us forever!

But as I ran, I started to notice that something was wrong. The place completely empty, but even more disturbing was the fact that I knew this city like the back of my hand, and I couldn't find my way out of it. I could find my way to all of the places that I remembered, but there were no roads leading out of it where there should've been and there were no signs or anything pointing the right way for me. I couldn't get out!

Finally, absolutely winded, I stopped running. Grief and confusion tore at me, and I couldn't stop myself from screaming. "Sandvich! Weaselcake! Somebody, come and help me! Please! Sandvich, where are you? Help, I need help! I don't care who it is, I just need help from _someone_!"

"_What about me?"_

I whirled to find my Shadow leaning against a lamppost. "No, not you. Anyone but you!" I yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "You did this to me!"

"_Oh, I wish that was true, but I'm not the one that put you here,"_ she said calmly, examining her nails.

"Wha-? Then…who was it?"

"_I'd love to tell you. Believe me, I would. But honestly, I have no idea. I was unconscious at the time. Must've been a brilliant guy, though. This place must be hell for you." _She grinned at me._ "But tell me, why don't you want my help?"_

"Because you're a monster!"

"_Oh, come now. I've only been trying to help you.__ I'm your friend, remember?"_

"Don't you dare talk like that to me," I snapped.

She frowned and crossed her arms. _"Fine. Go ahead. Scream for help. No one's going to come though. It's just me and you in here. Not even Dick Sandvich will come to help you."_ I seethed at her silently, knowing full well that she was right, and that knowledge hurt immensely. _"I can feel your pain,"_ she said suddenly. _"I feel bad for you. I mean it this time; I really do feel bad for you. Tell you what; I'll help you get rid of that pain."_

I raised an eyebrow. "And how do you propose to do that?" I asked suspiciously.

She started walking towards me. _"Easy. I'm going to make you forget everyone."_

"What?"

"_You heard me. I'm going to make you forget everyone. What you don't remember can't hurt you, right?"_ she asked.

"No, I don't want to forget!" I protested, backing away.

"_Look, don't be afraid. It doesn't hurt at all to forget. __It's very easy, and it will make you feel so much better. Let me help you, little Kami,"_ she said gently. If I hadn't known what a monster she really was, I would have believed her.

"No," I whimpered, still backing away. "I don't want to forget."

"_We'll start off slow. How well do you really know Weaselcake? He just sort of comes and goes, doesn't he? You've only seen him two or three times now, and he really hasn't talked to you. He really isn't a very good friend, is he? Would it really hurt to forget about him?"_ I was backed up against a wall, now crying softly. Her hands lightly touched my head, and for once it didn't hurt. I felt myself get a little dizzy, but I didn't get a migraine the way I always did. In a strange way, it was actually kind of nice. _"Forget him. I promise you, it won't hurt at all. Just forget."_

I suddenly found myself wanting to do as she said. Maybe it would make me feel better. I felt that I had been abandoned by my friends, but I guess that it made sense they would do that if they really weren't my friends…and I guess that Weaselcake and I really weren't friends at all. He really did show up at the oddest moments and vanish just as quickly. Yes, I could forget about him.

"_There. I can feel the memories leaving you. Doesn't it feel nice?"_she asked so kindly.

"Yes, it does," I answered softly. "It feels like…a weight's been lifted off my shoulders…"

"_Yes, I know. And that's just from someone you didn't really know. Think how nice it will be to forget the others."_

Suddenly I shook my head. What just happened? Something was wrong. "Who…what were we talking about?" the question slipped out. That wasn't what I had meant to ask, but…what was going on with me. I felt so light-headed.

"_It doesn't matter who we were talking about. We don't care about Weaselcake, do we?"_

"Who's that?" I asked. The name sounded so familiar…I knew who that was, didn't I?

"_No, you don't know who it is and you don't care either,"_ Shadow Kami suddenly snapped, startling me out of my trance. _"Oh, I'm sorry for getting angry. I just hate it when you ask silly questions. So let's just pretend that never happened, okay?"_ she asked, her voice sweet once more, and I felt myself slipping away again. I nodded absently. _"Good girl. Now, time to forget about…what were their names now? Oh yes, Dell, Alex and Jimmy. You've only known them for a few days now, so how can you have formed such a strong bond with them? It doesn't make much sense. I know they seem nice, but they don't need you or care about you very much. I knew that Dell was very welcoming to you and you already see him as a second father, but isn't that a little pathetic? Besides, he already has a daughter. He doesn't need another one, does he?"_

"No, he doesn't," I found myself agreeing. "And I already have a father...I don't need another one."

"_Correct. You're learning fast. I'm so proud of you. Now, I know you like Alex a lot, and she did say that she likes you too, but I don't think she does. How could she have forgiven you so quickly for attacking her father? She's lying to you, Kami. We don't need friends like that, do we?" _

"No," I whispered. I felt so light right now…like leaf floating in the wind…I had never felt weightless like this before…it was nice…

"_You're right, we don't. Liars make for very bad friends. We're better off forgetting her." _

"Okay." Shadow Kami's voice was so soft and soothing…I'd do anything she wanted me to…

"_And what about Jimmy? You're scared of him, aren't you? He's so pushy and fast…he's so much like that other guy. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. __That terrible man…Jimmy's a lot like him…what if he tries to do the same thing?"_ I trembled at her words. _"Oh dear, I'm sorry for scaring you. But you see my point, yes? If we forget him, we'll be safe."_

I nodded slowly. "Okay…that makes sense…should we forget about that guy who tried to…"

"_No!"_ she said sharply, startling me again, but she quickly caught herself. _"I mean, no, sweetheart. If we forget him, we might have a repeat of the past, and we don't want to go through that again, now do we?"_ Obediently, I shook my head_. "Right. So just forget about Dell, Jimmy, and Alex. All three are liars, and I don't think any of them truly cares about you. You'll feel so much better once those memories are gone."_

This time, I found it harder to let go of the memories. In fact, I was vaguely aware of a strange tugging sensation, like the memories were actually being pulled out of me. I felt Shadow Kami's fingers press into my head, but I didn't really care about it. Certainly she wasn't doing anything bad to me. Bad things hurt, and this didn't hurt…so it was good, right?

"_There. Tell me, who are Dell, Alex, and Jimmy?" _Shadow Kami asked softly.

"I…I don't know…Should I?" I was confused. I didn't know them, and yet the names seemed familiar. I guess they were common names. Maybe that was it; I just thought they sounded familiar but I didn't really know them. That had to be it. "Do you know who they are?"

"_No. I was just curious,"_ she answered nonchalantly.

"'Kay."

"_Now, this one is going to be hard, but you must trust me. You must forget about Dick Sandvich,"_ she told me.

Immediately my trance was broken. "NO!" I shrieked, breaking out of her grasp. "I'll _never _forget about him!"

Anger flashed in her eyes quickly, but then they went back to being soft and gentle. _"Oh, but you must. You see, that is where most of the pain is coming from. The ones you love often bring the most pain. You can't stop thinking about him, and that only makes it hurt even more. If you ever want to be free of the pain, you need to forget about him. It won't be too bad, I swear."_

"No, I don't want to forget about him! I love him, and he loves me, purely and truly! I don't want to forget about the only man who has ever treated me with kindness and respect and love. I don't want to lose those wonderful memories!" I fought back.

"_I know it's hard, but perhaps you should learn the truth. He doesn't really love you,"_ she said softly.

"What? No, h-he loves me. He doesn't hate me," I said, becoming scared.

"_Oh, no, I know he doesn't _hate_ you, but he doesn't _love _you either. He's a lot like that man from so long ago. He just wants you for your body." _I shook my head in horror. _"I'm sorry that I had to tell you this, but it's true. He touches your body every night. That's why he wanted you to sleep with him. It wasn't to protect you from your…nightmares. It really was just so he could get closer to you."_

"But…he said he wouldn't do that to me," I whimpered, looking down.

"_I know. But here's the really hard one to tell you. Remember how he said he'd never hurt you?" _

"Y-yes?"

"_Well…he did. When you woke up, it felt like something had stabbed you in the chest, right? That was his doing. __Instead of trying to help you when you lost control, he attacked you,"_ she said sadly.

I stared at her in horror and I felt something twist deep inside me. It kept twisting, driving me to tears, until it finally shattered. It was the feeling of my heart breaking. I fell to my knees in despair, anguish, and utter hopelessness. What she said must have been true. I had felt that stabbing pain. He attacked me. Why? Why didn't he help me when I needed him most? He said he'd always be there for me, and he'd love me and take care of me forever. Why did he lie?

"_It hurts a lot, doesn't it?"_ she asked softly. I could only nod through my sobbing. I felt her hands on my head again. _"Let me help you get rid of that pain. You'll feel better once you forget all about him. Let me just take those memories away."_

And I did. I let every smile, word, laugh, hug, cuddle, and kiss go. I didn't care anymore, just as long as the pain went away. But the more she took, instead of making me feel better, it just made me feel empty. But the emptiness was better than the pain…anything was better than the pain. So I closed my eyes and let her take them all.

"_Open your eyes, Kami,"_ she finally said. I did as she asked, though I kept my eyes downcast. _"Tell me, how do you feel now? Are you still hurting?"_

"No…I don't feel any pain…I just feel empty…and I feel lonely," I said, my voice devoid of emotion.

"_Oh, but you don't need to feel lonely. Do you know why?"_ I shook my head. Her hand slid under my chin, making me look up into her purple eyes. _"Because I'm still here. I'm your best friend. I'll always be here for you, and I'll take good care of you."_

Strange…I remembered hearing those words before. But they were said in a different voice…a deeper, masculine voice that had an accent…and weren't his eyes stormy blue, not purple? And the hand was bigger and much more gentle, wasn't it? I must have been dreaming all of that, because I couldn't remember who it was supposed to be. It must have all been made up. My darker self smiled at me, and I returned it. She was me…and my best friend. I didn't have any other friends…I couldn't remember them….it must've been always just her and I. And I had made it this far, so she must've been taking good care of me all along.

"_Well? What do you have to say to me?"_ she asked.

I gave her a small smile. "Thank you…for everything."


End file.
